Emotional States – Introduction

Listen or Follow Along

Begin by Telling the Truth

I am totally stressed out.

I feel overwhelmed.

I feel hopeless and want to give up.

I feel guilty. Irritable. Lonely. Hurt. Resentful.

The first step is not to talk yourself out of the state you are in. It is to acknowledge it.

Many of us have learned to say, “I’m fine,” while our family, our breathing, and our body know that we are anything but fine. We may be embarrassed by how hurt we feel, guilty about our anger, or ashamed that rejection affected us so deeply. Denying those feelings does not make them disappear. It uses energy to hold them out of awareness.

We created these Emotional State lessons so you can say what is true, accept yourself and your feelings, and then use EFT to move toward relief.

Acceptance Is Not Approval or Surrender

Acknowledging I feel angry does not mean anger gets to run your life. Acknowledging I want to withdraw does not mean you must leave. Saying I feel unsafe does not prove that danger is present—or absent. It tells the truth about your present inner experience.

Once a feeling is named, you can take it by the hand. You can tap with it, listen to it, reduce its intensity, and choose what comes next. Until then, as Carol puts it, the feeling may have you by the tail.

This is why our tapping language often includes:

Even though I feel hurt, I deeply and completely accept all my feelings.

The acceptance matters. We are not blaming another person or making the feeling permanent. We are stopping the exhausting argument with what is already here.

One Feeling May Be Hiding Another

Emotional states often arrive in layers. You may feel angry at someone you love, then feel guilty for being angry. You may feel rejected, then ashamed that the rejection mattered. You may resent your body, your doctor, or the care you need, then insist that you are not resentful because resentment seems unacceptable.

Carol has called this an epidemic of non-acknowledgment. Our culture is quick to say:

You should not be angry. Be happy.

Do not feel abandoned. Take care of yourself.

It is about them, so you should not feel rejected.

Those responses skip over the person who is actually hurting. We would rather begin with, “The truth is, I do feel this.” Then there is something real to work with.

If more than one feeling is present, start with the one that has the most energy. As it softens, another layer may become clearer.

Tell the Truth Before Reaching for a Better Thought

People sometimes worry that saying I feel abandoned will attract more abandonment, so they rush to I feel loved, protected, and supported. But if those words do not feel true, the affirmation can activate the very feeling you are trying to avoid.

We prefer to acknowledge the truth first:

I do feel abandoned, and I am open to feeling supported.

I am stressed, and I am open to feeling surprisingly calm and confident.

I feel lonely, and I am open to feeling connected within myself.

The second half offers direction without rejecting the first half. You are building an energy pathway from where you are toward relief.

Some Feelings Are Easier to Name in Private

There may be feelings you cannot yet say safely or productively to another person. If you feel rejected by your spouse, beginning a conversation by tapping aloud about how much your spouse rejects you may not help the relationship. Naming the feeling privately can be different.

In your own room, in your own heart, you can say:

Even though I feel rejected, that is the truth of what I feel right now, and
I accept all my feelings.

Hearing yourself say the words can be profound. It lets the hidden feeling be known without requiring anyone else to defend, fix, or deny it.

You may not have another person who can calmly hear I feel hopeless and want to give up. You can still acknowledge that energy honestly. If you may act on thoughts of harming yourself or cannot stay safe, tapping is not enough—reach for immediate crisis or emergency support. EFT can accompany appropriate human and professional care; it should not replace it.

Use These Lessons in the Moment

Emotional states can change several times in a day, especially when pain is still demanding attention. Ask yourself:

How am I feeling right now?

Perhaps you asked for a need to be met and the person did not come through, so you feel rejected. Perhaps you are exhausted by a diagnosis, confused by choices, angry with your body, or simply overwhelmed by what the day requires.

Choose the lesson that most closely matches. Say the title aloud and ask your body how true it feels from 0 to 10. If numbers are not useful, try low, medium, or high. Tap with the recording, breathe, and check again.

You can also move through the lessons systematically. A statement may reveal energy you did not know was present. If I am resentful registers as an eight after you were certain you were not resentful, that is useful information—not a failure.

Small Shifts Teach Your System Something

These practices do not have to produce a dramatic transformation. Moving from an eight to a seven teaches your system that movement is possible. Three to seven minutes of acknowledgment and tapping may give you more room to breathe, rest, or make a clearer choice.

Carol uses the image of a swimmer who is thrashing so hard that help cannot reach them. There can be a moment of stopping, admitting I cannot keep doing this in the same way, and allowing a rope to arrive. Acknowledgment can be that moment.

Rick describes the practice as moving in the direction of relief. We are not demanding that you leap from grief to joy or from overwhelm to confidence. We are helping your system learn the next reachable step.

Honor Where You Are, Then Notice What Opens

Healing and relief are supported by self-acceptance and love. We know part of you may answer, “Yes, but tell me what to do.” This is something to do:

Name the feeling. Let it be true for this moment. Measure it if you can. Tap with it. Breathe. Notice what changes.

Keep using the lessons even when an emotion has shifted before. We live in a world with other people. We will have more feelings. EFT gives us a way to acknowledge strong feelings without letting them silently drain or direct us.

Relief often begins with the honest sentence: This is where I am right now.