How do you make progress using EFT if you’re feeling doubtful and think it’s a hoax? When I am feeling pretty good, or even just a little down, I can tap and feel my energy shift. But when I really feel terrible, it feels like the tapping thing is just a farce… what good could it possibly do anyway? And I usually can’t even think of a specific issue to tap on. So, a good portion of the time, I don’t tap. -Karen from NM
When we feel down and disempowered, we tend to tune into the inner voice that thinks nothing will help. After all, nothing seemed to help in the past!
When we were young, many of us were powerless. Nothing we could think of actually changed the situation. Hope just made us feel worse. We had to deny and bury our feelings. We had to tough it out. When we’re down and feeling disempowered now, that same energy pattern gets activated.
With tapping, we have a new way to deal with our feelings. And it’s okay to tap on whatever the thoughts are… even when the thought is that tapping is stupid and a waste of time!
It can be really helpful to monitor how intensely terrible you feel, and how convinced you are that tapping is stupid. When we’re feeling doubtful, it can be easy to miss the shift from intensely terribly to kind of crappy. None of us want to feel bad, but going from a 10 to a 6 can be a big relief!
Side of Hand: Even though I feel terrible and powerless… and this tapping stuff is stupid and won’t help…tapping might just soothe me a bit.
Even though I feel horrible and this tapping stuff is just a farce anyway… at least the tapping doesn’t hurt… and what if it helps a little?
Even though tapping feels like a waste of time and effort… I wonder if part of me is frightened and shut down. Maybe I can view tapping as a way to show myself I care.
Top of the Head: This tapping stuff is really stupid.
Eyebrow: Why am I wasting my time?
Side of the Eye: I feel terrible…
Under the Eye: And tapping isn’t going to help.
Under the Nose: Tapping is just a farce.
Chin: I don’t know how to feel better.
Collarbone: I don’t know what to do.
Under the Arm: I hate this!
Top of the Head: Tapping is weird and kind of stupid.
Eyebrow: Why do I bother?
Side of the Eye: I don’t like how I feel.
Under the Eye: And here I am tapping.
Under the Nose: Only stupid people tap on themselves.
Chin: This is too weird.
Collarbone: I guess maybe it’s good that I’m listening to myself.
Under the Arm: It is sort of comforting that I’m doing something.
Top of the Head: This tapping thing is strange.
Eyebrow: But it doesn’t feel bad.
Side of the Eye: Maybe I feel a little more grounded.
Under the Eye: Maybe I don’t feel quite as horrible.
Under the Nose: I still sometimes think tapping is a farce…
Chin: But I open to feeling a little better anyway.
Collarbone: I don’t feel quite so bad.
Under the Arm: And I am paying attention to my feelings.
Top of the Head: I like that I’m taking care of me.
Take a deep breath.
Notice your intensity on “I feel terrible” and “This tapping thing is stupid”. Did they go up? Down? Stay the same? What thoughts or memories came up?
When we move from disempowered and shut down, often the next thing we feel is sadness or anger. If it doesn’t feel safe to feel those emotions, we may shut ourselves back down into depressed and hopeless again.
Doing a few rounds on whatever is coming up can help. Even if you just tap a few rounds on “this sadness” or “this anger in my chest/throat/other location in your body,” you’re teaching your body to become more resilient and changing your energy.
If when you feel down about yourself and your life, it reminds your strongly of earlier times in your life, that can be one of the reasons tapping is less effective for you at those times.
Why? Well, what we’ve found after working with thousands of people is that childhood feelings of disempowerment are typically not easily shifted when you feel ALONE and UNSUPPORTED. The primitive brain looks around and says, “Yep! Still no one to help!”
There are parts of us that remain locked in trauma UNTIL the right support is available. The right support… feels safe. Getting support feels respectful and honoring of what you went through. Having someone there can help you feel stronger… and competent to help youself heal.
Becoming part of such a circle of support is, we feel, a critical component. If you are attracted to tapping for its potential to deeply heal your emotional wounds and physical suffering, and are observing that you don’t tap when you need it (or “should” tap), find yourself a support group. We help people transform these energies all the time in our Group Coaching program. We understand these energies and how to shift them. If this approach feels good to you, join today!