Gifts and Gaps

Each person is a unique combination of gifts and gaps, unlike anyone else in creation. A gift is where we have a natural potential that feels good to cultivate, and that matches certain situations. A gap is where we do not have the natural resources to make an experience or action fulfilling (or even possible). Celebrating and expressing our gifts while accepting our gaps frees us to explore our vast potential and thrive.

  • The concept of gifts and gaps replaces the judgmental approach of praising or criticizing "strengths and weaknesses."
  • Gifts and Gaps fully honor the diversity spectrum and its benefits in co-creating.
  • Focusing on developing and expressing our gifts keeps us in a sweet spot for thriving and adapting with grace.
  • Accepting our gaps allows for opportunities for co-creation with people whose gifts mesh with our gaps.
  • Letting go of the pressure to "overcome" a gap helps us grow in calm confidence.

Teslas are Great… and Terrible

The Tesla Model 3 is an amazing electric vehicle, one of the best-selling electric cars in the world. And it sucks as a heavy-duty farm tractor.

It also is a terrible boat. It does not cut wood as well as a chain saw or even a furry beaver. And it can’t make ice cream!!! Jeesh!

This advanced electric car (one of the best in the world), which can even (mostly) drive itself, has a nearly infinite list of weaknesses that overwhelm its strengths in number and magnitude.

While this may seem silly at first, isn't it what we do to other humans…? Criticize their gaps?

Someone who is a wonderful musician may be terrible at keeping an organized house. The programmer may be able to bring cryptographic formulas to life… yet not be able to make small talk at a party.

A concept in thriving is to look for and accept a diversity of talents while being open to a truth that not everyone was designed to be: athletic, organized, focused, quiet, outgoing, ambitious, multilingual, etc.

Dolphins Don't Climb Trees

Flipper finds the bark of the tree irritating to his skin, and the lack of fingers or claws makes it really, really painful to climb the tree.

Cats can surf, but most hate even the idea.

Some dogs can leap high in the air and grab a frisbee. Others hurt themselves when they try.

Isn't it time we shift to being more curious about a person's gifts — and how they want to express their unique heartistry — without expecting that each person "should" be able to do what any other human can?

Useful Questions

  • What are my gifts? Physically? Emotionally? Mentally? Spiritually?
  • Have I shut down some of my gifts because of criticism, judgment, fear, or perfectionism?
  • What gaps do I beat myself up about?
  • Does it feel okay to allow others to fill my gaps with their gifts and focus my life force energy on what matters most to me? If not, why not?


Related Concepts

Co-Creating, Limiting Beliefs, Acceptance, Diversity Spectrum, Heartistry, Imperfectionism, Talent Stack, Calm and Confident


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