Lifestyle Design

Lifestyle design is when we consciously choose what "thriving" means to us (and those we share our life with) and direct our energy and engagement to co-create that together. Lifestyle design is rooted in what matters to us emotionally, physically, spiritually, and relationally. It looks for freedom through mindful resource allocation (and even conscious limits) in order to be sustainable and joyful.

  • Lifestyle design helps sustain our focus when exposed to pressures to live differently than we choose.
  • Designs co-create intentions. Shared intentions co-create long term systems to give us the freedom to live and experience what matters most to us.
  • When we design based not just on "things" (consumerism), we are freed to explore ways our emotional dreams can be met in ways that don't necessarily require what anyone else is "selling." We buy what serves our thriving lifestyle, rather than based on a marketing promise.

Living the Emotional Lifestyle

There are different emotional climates. Just as you can live on an island beach or an icy mountain, where and how we live also have varied emotional climates.

For example, some people value ease and put resources towards what feels smooth and flowing. Others value expressing their body's power and capacity and seek out challenges to grow in body, mind, and spirit.

We can design to allow co-creating… personal achievement… spiritual journeying… or a blend across the seasons of our lives.

By starting with the emotional lifestyle we want to craft, it is easier to filter out the physical activities and situations where we would not thrive.

For example, a typical vision board is filled with things we dream of having and the life we want to live. But the real purpose of a vision board is to capture how achieving these things would make us feel.

Emotional freedom cuts through the "things-focus" and gets to the root feelings. If you love being of useful service, there are millions of ways to do that. If you see the mansion and feel a sense of artistry and grandeur — you might also get that feeling on a mountainside (without the taxes and upkeep and work a huge house requires).

Of course, there's no judgment about any size or choice. After experiencing lifestyle design that begins with emotional and energetic feelings, it's clear to us that there can be a "decoupling." We stop associating "success" with specific brands of cars, types of houses, or ways of living.

Instead, our choices become deeper and more in touch with what really matters… the heartistry we choose to express into this emotional world we share.

F.O.M.O. and Outside Pressure

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is used "against" us. Yes, it is part of the primitive brain. "Eat these berries NOW… or they will be gone next time you look!!" Whether a sale, deadline, or a limited offer, when our primitive brain gets triggered, we often act contrary to the lifestyle we intend.

This is why lifestyle design supports our long-term thriving. If your design includes enjoying the pleasure of having more options, choosing to save money in your Freedom Fund — instead of spending it on something because it is on sale — supports you with more choices and greater freedom in the future.

People who find joy in mindfulness and managing resources wisely often find themselves amused by FOMO rather than trapped by it. "Ahhh, there they go again. I so appreciate knowing what matters to me and choosing in ways that are right for me!"

The same goes for outside pressure. A boss can use fear to push us to do more, more, more. If we're clear that sustainable effort is core to our lifestyle design, we can find it easier to assert on our own behalf. "I hear you want more done than can be during the time and energy we have. Do you know which has the best benefit for us, or would you like my help choosing?"

Such clarity about our lifestyle changes us. If freedom is dear to you, you would interview an employer with different questions than if you primarily sought security.

Outside pressures start to feel like rain hitting a car, not a storm you're caught in without shelter. As you become skilled in understanding your own clarity and actions, even contrasting opinions from others only reinforce your own choices.

Savoring What Is Showing Up Now

Have you ever felt really upset because you weren't reaching a goal you set for yourself? That's a problem we see with goal and vision-oriented planning.

Lifestyle design for a thriving life is meant to make it possible for you to savor, each and every day, aspects of what is showing up now.

You don't have to wait to have "the house of your dreams" when you do a little something to make your current nest a bit more yummy and sweet.

This is particularly true when crafting from "scratch." Whether growing your own business or seeking out a partner for lovership, we know that many of the emotional aspects are available at every micro-step along the way.

For sure, The Big Win is a dopamine rush.

Yet, savoring is the practice of truly being in touch with what's alive, real, and beautiful in your world right now. That's thriving.

Useful Questions

  • What emotions and experiences would nourish me day-by-day?
  • If I take something I've dreamed about, yet it hurts that I don't have it, what are the emotional states I'd expect to get from that? What other ways could I experience that now… and tomorrow… and the day after… even if that dream in that form never comes true?
  • In order for me to feel the way I want, what do I believe has to happen first? Is that true? Or, are there other ways I could design a life that gives me those feelings?
  • What have I been striving for… and is that really what matters deeply to me?


Related Concepts

Abundance, Clarity, Co-Creating, Contrast, Ecosystem, Heartistry, Magical Misconceptions, Practical, Sacred Decisions, Simple Uplifts, Thriving, We-Space


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