Magical Misconceptions

Magical Misconceptions are when we hold tight to a notion about how something, someone, or we SHOULD be… but that is not what IS.

The contrast between what we believe should be and what is creates an inner conflict — which our primitive brain experiences as a threat. We're then left reacting to the threat, often by avoiding it, getting angry, or feeling flooded and overwhelmed.

Magical Misconceptions significantly impact visionaries, optimists, and sensitive people in ways that often keep them from expressing themselves and being calm and confident.

Clearing our magical misconceptions significantly reduces inner conflict and overwhelm.
We stop should-ing on ourselves, loved ones, and even the world at large.
By accepting "what is," we are free to find creative adaptations that allow for thriving while also positively influencing our we-spaces.

It Should Be Easier!!

But it is not. Now what?

When we have this misconception, we're imagining a magical world where things are different. But they're not right now.

Perhaps you're tired. Perhaps you're early in the learning curve. Perhaps you've witnessed others appearing (!) to do it easier, and you feel "less than" (a threat for the primitive brain's status receptors).

Anytime we assert that it "should be easier," we are likely to "bounce off" — get distracted, avoid, quit, or hate on ourselves. Or, we'll push ourselves! Coerce, force, or feel trapped.

Ugh, this is not thriving.

With some EFT Tapping, we can accept this "unwanted reality" that it is harder than we hoped, and that's the way it is, and it's okay. We can be calm and confident… anyway.

People Should… People Shouldn't…

Ah, but people DO!

You're probably noticing that the word "should" often indicates a magical misconception. We find ourselves looking out at the world and declaring, "This is not how it should be!"

What happens to our calm confidence when we do this?

Sometimes, we get anxious, angry, or fearful — not calm.

Sometimes, we feel disempowered and helpless and despairing… because things are not as they (magically) should be!

Can you feel the trap?

Discerning when we're arguing with how people actually are and pausing can give us some space to reflect.

I prefer when people (what?). Not everyone does or does it all the time.
When people don't (what?) (and some people won't), I feel (how?).
I invite myself to be calm and confident… anyway. This is how it is, and it does not have to stop me from thriving.

I Shouldn't Have To… I Should Be Able To…

We humans should on ourselves.

Like the magical misconception that something should be easier, we can activate a conflict in us (and will) every time we fall into a notion that we shouldn't have to or should be able to do something right now.

Such assertions are depleting. When we're depleted, we lose vitality and creativity. When we're depleted, it's harder to generate confident energy.

Imagine if the concept we're operating from is one of Awareness. That looks at the same situation with:

I'm noticing resistance to doing that right now. Is it actually a no for me to do? Is there a different approach? Or am I objecting even though it is a normal part of being a human in this culture?
I'm noticing that my current energy and state of being aren't a match for what I want to do. I wonder how I could shift my state right now?

Useful Questions

Am I should-ing on myself or others in a way that conflicts with how things actually are?
If I am the type of person that imagines a better world, am I not offering my heartistry because magical misconceptions are causing me to turn away or distract myself?
How would this change if I accepted the unwanted reality while simultaneously calming my distress and deepening my confidence?
If I take a powerful pause to remind myself before an important conversation, a night out, a vacation, or a date that things rarely unfold exactly as I imagine, can this help calm me in the likely event that something unexpected occurs?

Resources

What stops you from expressing yourself? Let's Clear That! - Real Skills Workshop

Related Concepts

Acceptance, Primitive Brain, Limiting Beliefs, Concepts for Thriving