If your body has a lot of pain and your mind always seems distressed, can it truly bring Relief to stop treating your body-mind like it's the enemy?

Computer Generated Transcript

ReliefNow-121-Key #2 - Be WITH+IN Our Body… It’s a “Love Relationship”

[00:00:00] Do you treat your body and feel that your body is an enemy that has betrayed you, that is keeping you from living the life that you want to lead when it's in pain? Do you feel like it's attacking you? I'm Rick from Thriving Now, and this particular subject is really dear to me, and in the next few minutes I want to share with you some.

[00:00:27] Concepts that I believe if I understood them back when I was dealing with a, a traumatized body that would had a lot of pain, that it would've been helpful to me to know that if I had had EFT tapping back then, that it would've given me some doorways of shifting things that might have taken weeks or a couple of months to make real progress rather than the years that it did take.

[00:00:54] So here we go. Imagine you're walking down a street and suddenly it feels like something has bit you in the butt. What happens in your body? Well, obviously there's nerves and reactions, a cascade of reactions that suddenly happen. The assumption by your primitive brain is that I am under attack, because if that is true, Guess what?

[00:01:25] You need to either defend yourself, fight, you need to run flight, or eh, not sure exactly what to do. Freeze. Here's the thing. What if that feeling of being bitten in the butt comes from a herniated disc like it did for me after a skiing accident, and I'd be walking along or walking up the steps and. My whole body would react and after a, after a year and a half of that before my surgery, wow.

[00:02:02] I really started to disconnect from my body and I started to feel that my body was something separate from me, that it could attack me at any time. That it was keeping me from living the life that I. I wanted to live into doing the work in the world to pay the bills and everything else that I needed to do, and this was on top of other disconnects.

[00:02:28] We call that dissociation. It's where the parts of us that need to survive. If the pain is there, it creates distance, it creates separation, it'll numb out, it'll make it something separate. But here's the thing, just taking a step back, we can see that if you're walking down the street and there wasn't actually a lion that grabbed you in the butt, that it was something inside of you that any reaction that you have as if you're being attacked is not helpful.

[00:03:09] Now, those of us who have ever had a chronic condition know that. It wears you down, and I, part of why it wears you down is this separation I've found, because instead of being able to tune in and be with and be in your body, you leave or you numb out, or you ignore, or you get angry with. And if you imagine a small child that you got angry with every time it was hurting, or you just left the room, oh, you're hurting, you're crying, you're scared, I'm outta here.

[00:03:59] We know that that would not be helpful and yet, Fundamentally inside of our nervous system, inside of our primitive brain, the part of us that needs to survive an attack. That's the type of thing that happens. So what are we going to do? Well, so this key is we need to repair any disconnections. And we also need to reframe, look at this relationship of you to your body again, and start building loving trust, starting now.

[00:04:41] And we can do it. We can do it together. And I think it can even be fun. And I will, I will say to you that as I look back at my history, you know, I had traumas going all the way back into early childhood, a hernia and a surgery. I had accidents. There was even sexual abuse in my early teenage years. There were all kinds of things that I think.

[00:05:09] A lot of us share that disconnected me from my body. I, I think there's a, there's a time period where I started seeing that my, my body and I really didn't have the same kind of relationship, was starting to create that separation and it got bigger and bigger until actually my body was dying, literally dying of something that they said was incurable.

[00:05:36] It wasn't. But it required that I come back into my body, that I listen more deeply. And in that process, my body started responding. I became stronger, I became more alive and sensual. I was able to do things and even start dancing in ways that I never would've thought possible. And even today, even with the.

[00:06:04] Bit of my inherited neck challenges. I know that my neck is here with me, supporting me, supporting me being in this work, supporting me, being here with you. It is the one aspect that you know, my body is here till death to us part yours too. And so let's begin, and with the intention of bringing relief now and with a longer term vision toward a life where you really do get to feel your body integrated from head to toe and willing and able and trusting in this, this thriving life.

[00:07:01] All right. Let's do it.


Be WITH+IN Our Body... It's a "Love Relationship"

Pain and trauma can take us out of our body, disconnecting us from our natural capacity to comfort and heal. Too often we treat our body-mind with hate and disgust... yet our heart still keeps beating and our nervous system keeps trying its best to help us survive. That's devotion.

There's love there, even if not reflected (yet!) in our attitude towards the parts of us that seem to be inflicting distress on us and "ruining our life." When we treat the parts of us that need relief with respect... and even a bit of curiosity and care... we ease the inner conflict that otherwise causes loud and painful suffering.

Be WITH+IN Our Body… 1

Yes, it brings HUGE Relief to the body to be treated as a loved friend and trusted lifelong companion... and Here's Why...

If "someone" poked and pinched you all the time, and you felt bruised and abused by them, it would make total sense to:

  • Want them to STOP and GO AWAY!
  • Not trust them and feel they are ruining your life, your peace, your well-being. 
  • Ignore them as much as possible and get angry and resentful when you couldn't ignore the pain they were causing. 

Here's the problem. Your body isn't a "them." It just can feel like it is. 

Humans have evolved ways of coping with trauma and injury. One of those ways is to dissociate. We separate out the part of us that is in overwhelming distress from the rest of us. And we keep going. And going. And going. In our culture, we often do not get the time and skilled support to re-connect and heal. The dissociation becomes chronic, and pain moves into suffering. Ouch. 

To heal deeply and completely, we need to repair the connection. And, we need an empowering attitude -- a frame of reference towards our body -- that lets us feel what we need to feel and let out what needs to be let out and discover all the many ways we can shift, move, nourish, and cleanse our body-mind so it can find Relief NOW. And again. And again. Whenever relief is needed!

Simple Key #2
Repair any disconnections and Re-frame your relationship to your body.
Build loving trust starting NOW.

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  • Rick ~ Thrivingnow
    Go With+In. Listen. Follow. This simple instruction was what was core to healing my ulcerative colitis long ago. It feels better to me now to make it Go With+In. Tune To. Engage With. Engage with love. Embody that in even the short moments we take to be “with our body, with+in ourselves.”

    There’s guidance there, the most intimate and I find USEFUL guidance. Yes, it requires practice. My pain (unbearable as it was) acted as a reminder, and going with+in brought me relief. As I learned to listen beyond the body’s loudness, there was clarity — about what to eat and when, how to move, supplements that would support me, even changes in my sleep rhythms (including occasional very early 3am meditation sessions!).

    EFT Tapping brought a quality of active engagement — not to “fix” but rather to be with more deeply and honestly. It brought movement (tapping) to the thoughts and healing intentions. It’s so much more effective than meditation, mindfulness, and movement alone — and the body-mind needs those things, too.

    Your questions and shared wisdom are welcome here in the comments, absolutely. Or you can email me personally.

    With love,


    Here are some previous comments (when the course was at a different location here):

    I had a lot of trauma from many surgeries as a baby starting at 10 days old for repair of a cleft lip and palate. I was terrified. I said I was nervous and was told little girls don’t have nerves. Back then (1936) they were not sure babies could feel pain and I might not have gotten anesthesia. I was told to be a good, brave girl and don’t cry. I had night terrors and walked in my sleep. In school I was bullied for looking different and I also was hard of hearing. So I shoved all those feelings down, down, down. Every morning before school I had real bad stomach aches and could not eat breakfast. As i got older the stomach aches increased and I lost a couple of jobs because of them. In fact I started allowing these stomach aches to run my life and if I felt a twinge I stayed home. I developed agoraphobia which for me meant having a panic attack in public which translated to needing to find a bathroom quick. I was terrified I’d lose control of my bowels and embarrass myself and other people would be disgusted with me, which I felt many already were. I went through hypnosis, primal scream therapy, and more. It wasn’t until I found Rick & Cathy & Thriving Now that I really started feeling better and loving myself. They tapped with me and helped me see other was to relate to my body. My body was only trying to tell me that all those emotions that I had pushed down needed to get out and stomach aches were the way. I hated the stomach aches. I hated my body and would yell at it. “I want to go out, eat in restaurants, travel but damn you body, you are hurting me.” With Rick & Cathy’s help, I tapped on all of this and now I thank my body for letting me know something is bothering me. I always felt trapped like I can’t leave to go to the bathroom and it would scare me. What if? So I didn’t go. Yes sometimes I still get these feelings but I tap and thank my stomach. I ground myself, take deep breaths, and it sure has changed the way I live. This tapping, this reframing, this circle that Rick created for us has made me feel so much love and accepted. Sure I still have times of anxiety but now I have the tools that I didn’t have for most of my life. I’m thankful I have these tools now. I hope this helps anyone who is reading this that yes there is help and oh what a blessed relief it is to know.

    Reply: Rick ~ Thrivingnow
    “My body was only trying to tell me that all those emotions that I had pushed down needed to get out.”

    Thank you for sharing your story and experience.

    “Yes sometimes I still get these feelings but I tap and thank my stomach. I ground myself, take deep breaths, and it sure has changed the way I live. This tapping, this reframing, this circle that Rick created for us has made me feel so much love and accepted. Sure I still have times of anxiety but now I have the tools that I didn’t have for most of my life. I’m thankful I have these tools now.”

    Lourdes Mendoza
    I’m feeling excited! I m looking forward to a partnership with my body! I will listen to what it needs and my body will support me in what I need ! My headaches have paralyzed me for most of my adult life . While tapping , the trauma that let to my first migrate surfaced . I cried remembering that first incident! Now I feel so sorry for my headaches . It has been trying to help me . I feel so hopeful. I can actually give any pain that comes the care and love it needs . I’m good !

    Glenn Taylor
    I’m finding this Relief NOW! tapping course to be VERY useful and deeply meaningful. There are many aspects that I am finding potent but perhaps the most potent is the idea of simply connecting….or re-connecting with parts of ourselves that we’re very uncomfortable with….that we feel as discomfort. It seems like such a simple and obvious thing to me now. In a number of other approaches I’ve used and one in particular that I’m trained in (NLP) there is often (after an initial re-connecting/acknowledging of a part) the process of asking for information from a part of ourselves we’ve stopped being in intimate communication with. It’s an attempt to discover what the positive purpose of this part is. And often that questioning comes after a very brief time spent acknowledging a part.

    I have experienced at least two problems that can arise from that approach. The first is that no matter how gently and respectful those wounded parts are being asked for this information it can often feel like a bit of a demand. (“Okay kid…I’ve spent 2 minutes acknowledging that you exist, now I want you to answer a few difficult questions”….!!!!) And if an answer isn’t easily answered by a part it can feel very frustrating, like you’re ‘doing it wrong’. For parts of ourselves that are already hurting this is not very helpful or healing. The second is that requesting information in that way, verbally, takes us out of sensing and feeling and being fully in the body…it becomes a sort of mental, cognitive undertaking which can wind up being just another way of dissociating from wounded parts of ourselves that live in the deeper places where language often doesn’t reach.

    Simply being with a part that wants relief…just being with it…acknowledging it…not asking anything of it…not requesting that it tell you anything…just holding hands with it…breathing with it…REALLY being with it even when it’s not pleasant…ESPECIALLY when it’s not pleasant, is such a healing thing. I mean, isn’t that really all a child wants…our full presence…our full attention…especially when they’re hurting….to be acknowledged and accepted. So simple…so incredibly healing.

    Thank you.

    Jane Rule
    My pain is no t physical it is emotional with lots of sensations in my chest and sometimes my tummy I really hope you can help me release this

    Reply: Rick ~ Thrivingnow
    “Sensations” are physical. When we combine the physical sensation with the emotional component, tapping can really help shift the sensations. “This ___(emotion)___ in my __(physical place where you feel the sensation__” while tapping the points. What do you notice shift in your body when you do this?

    Thank you, Rick, for this powerful Tapping session. I could feel so much compassion toward my body at the end of the 4 sessions

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