June 14, 2023 by Cathy Vartuli

How Do I Know If I’m Tapping On Stress “Right?”

"If I did this work really right, wouldn't I get to my intensity down to a zero right away... and it would just stay GONE forever? Am I doing something wrong?"


The thing is our society does expect that. You take this pill, or you do this thing and all of a sudden you're perfect. If you just did xyz ...  you would be perfect.

We look for magic bullets. We want fast, immediate, miraculous relief.

We see that on TV in advertisements.

Honestly with tapping... about 5% of the millions and millions of things that people tap on around the world every day... the feeling goes completely away. You move on. Your energy moves on to something else.

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It's different when you look at something like grief, or you look at a major transformation that's happening in your life. Or, a long term trauma.

Or a postural thing that's changing in your neck... now that you got the person who was a pain in the neck out of your life. Now, all of a sudden, your neck is hurting in new ways.

We believe that emotional technologies like tapping are just like a massage or a warm shower, or talking to a friend ... brushing your teeth or taking a nap.

These are things that are good and healthy in the way that they exercise and tap into your emotional body.

The exercise of tuning in and feeling for the trend can build resiliency ... We do believe in the benefit of moving the intensity from a nine to a seven when it comes to physical pain or emotional pain.

It's hard to focus on anything at a nine level of intensity. If my primitive brain and my body feel that shift from a nine to a seven, that's amazing.

In the moment it can feel like a miracle.

But if we have beliefs that it should be gone gone gone, or it should be down to a zero, then we can give up on something that's really working towards our THRIVING.

If you’d like to clear stress out of your life in powerful and unexpected ways, our brand new Stress Relief On Tap program may be perfect for you. Check it out here today!

Just like if we're going to the gym and we're noticing our body beginning to feel stronger, and it's easier to get up the stairs. Like, "Wow, this is working. But, you know what? I don't look like that woman in that magazine, so I should just give up." A lot of people give up like that when we're actually doing something that's really miraculous.

Cathy: EFT saved my life. It helped me clear things that I had not been able to clear in 20 years of trying everything else I could think of. The fact that we can take something that might be a 12 down to an 11 or a 10 or even a 7 in a few minutes or an hour, that's huge. That really is miraculous. The only thing I know that people do that sometimes can work like that is popping some drugs, but that's short term, or, they take alcohol or other addictive behaviors because it temporarily numbs them.

Rick: Right. Tapping is a technique for engaging with and unwinding the suffering. Unwinding the trauma of it, unwinding the tension of it. Even right now, tune into your body and feel for some place where there's a tension, because, hey, life creates tension.

Whether you're doing something great like fooling around with a loved one, or you're building a rock wall that you've always wanted, or you just finished an eight hour shift and you made enough money to feel your family... That's going to create some tension.

Tune into your body. Feel for where there's some tension and just tap gently.

Eyebrow: Hey, tension.
Side of the Eye: I send you love and acceptance.
Under the Eye: Thank you, body, for all you've been doing for me.
Under the Nose: I'd look pretty funny without a body.
Chin: I'm sending attention to that part of me that's tense.
Collarbone: And I'm inviting it to relax.
Under the Arm: I'm willing for my body to unwind right now... Just a little bit.
Top of the Head: Just the right amount.

Take a deep breath.

Notice if the feeling changed. This area of tension in my neck, the feeling changed. It feels warmer. It feels a little softer.

Is the pain completely gone? No, I'm sitting in a hard backed chair and I'm doing something I love and I'm focusing my energy on being present for you, wherever you are and whenever you are and being here with my co-creator.

That activity creates tensions. Yet, having something at our fingertips that can quickly get the energy moving for a stress and strain in the body, in the mind, in the heart, it's so useful.

Could we do a quick round on perfectionism? Like, “It's not all gone.”

Karate Chop: Even thought it's not all gone ... And, I worked really hard at this ... and I thought if I did it perfectly right ... it would be gone. But, maybe my body doesn't work that way. Maybe it's pretty amazing how far I did come.

Top of the Head: I tend to discredit myself.
Eyebrow: It wasn't enough.
Side of the Eye: It's never enough.
Under the Eye: I did do something.
Under the Nose: I took action.
Chin: And, I improved my life.
Collarbone: If I keep doing little things like this.
Under the Arm: Who knows where I'll be tomorrow?
Top of the Head: Imagine next year.

Deep breath.

I think the biggest thing is not discouraging ourselves when we get forward motion but it's not enough.

I'm pointing, three fingers pointing back at me because I'll be like, "Wow, I got that whole room done. I organized that whole room. Oh yeah, but you didn't get the other closet done. The whole house isn't done."

We need to catch ourselves when we have those mind patterns. Like, "Wow, I worked really hard today and I actually got something done that I've been wanting to do for a long time."

If we celebrate and encourage ourselves more, we're more likely to move forward with it.

Absolutely. This kind of practice you'll notice that by practicing on accepting ... The essence of tapping is “I deeply and completely accept myself.”

When we practice acceptance it allows us to celebrate more. It allows us to not take the things that would nourish us, and then drop them on the floor before we get a chance to really savor them. That emotional nourishment, changing the pattern of how emotions nourish you, also gets reflected in your body. It gets reflected in your vitality and your sense of yourself.

We want that for all of us to be able to share in that mutual nourishment and celebration.

We'd love to know what you think. How do you encourage yourself and how do you stop yourself? Sharing out loud can help you get more conscious and allows other people see it and go, "Oh, I'm not the only one."

You're not only serving yourself, but you're serving others. We'd love to hear from you. Leave comments below.

And if you’d like to have the support and guidance to release your stress, check out Stress Relief On Tap and also join us in the Emotional Freedom Circle where we bring together amazing minds and hearts to clear stress, teach our bodies new levels of resilience, and bring peace and vitality back into our lives. Learn more here.

Warm smiles,
Rick & Cathy

Originally published 14-Jan-2017

  • Tami McCarthy says:

    I needed this reminder today, thank you so much.

  • Norene Simmons says:

    I’m realizing that every little bit of tapping helps me with the stress of having to sort through an overwhelming amount of family memorabilia whether I think I’m doing it “right” or not. Simply tapping gently on my collarbone or putting my hand on my heart when the tears start flowing or laughter appears lets my body know that I’m present…I’ve got my own back as it were. Yesterday I accepted my own unique timeline of grieving and celebrated the baby steps that I accomplished! Way to go, Me! Thank you, Rick and Cathy and the Thriving Now tribe…XO

  • Great short video, thank you. I’m learning it’s important to focus on gratitude, and also as you said appreciating my efforts each day. And yes, to be grateful for all small efforts and improvements!

  • Malathie Pahathkumbura says:

    Thanks Cathy. Thanks Rick. This was a wonderful experience.

  • The Trend Is Your Friend! For thriving when we build resiliency we help our body and mind know how to move energy to lower stress and restore more quickly.

    Yes, it’s different from “make it go away” — and that’s actually a good thing. And yeah, it’s okay if you don’t see it that way when you’re feeling distress.

    We also have a free coaching program for Relief NOW available here:


    I encourage you to sign up and tap along.

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