What Do You Do When People Are Constantly Pulling at You?

Watch, Then Practice

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Generosity Needs Capacity

Generous-hearted and capable people are often asked for a great deal. Even welcome connection can become irritating when every bit of capacity is allocated elsewhere.

Ask what percentage of your helping is a genuine yes. The answer may be high. Stress often concentrates around a smaller set of tasks driven by obligation, poor boundaries, or the belief that you are not allowed to put yourself on your own list.

Notice the Old Rule

Imagine taking time for yourself. What would earlier authority figures have called that—selfish, lazy, disobedient? Feel how the body reacts. An unwritten rule from the past can make an ordinary boundary feel dangerous.

Move from Stress to Resourcefulness

A first idea may be Run away from home or Hide under the bed. Let it arrive. The return of imagination is a sign that the narrowed stress response is opening. Tap more and look for workable options:

• protect an hour from interruption;
• trade childcare or another responsibility;
• tell someone you want to connect but lack bandwidth now;
• distinguish a real emergency from a request that can wait;
• schedule recovery before resentment builds.

Taking care of yourself does not cancel generosity. It makes chosen generosity more sustainable and less contaminated by resentment.