I really want to attract a romantic partner, and I’ve done a lot of work on this. I enjoy my freedom and my selfish lifestyle too much, which is getting in the way of meeting someone special. How do I resolve this conflict? – Lily
Why do you believe that you have to give up your “selfish” lifestyle to have a relationship? Yes, there is a certain amount of compromise, but an ideal partner may want many of the experiences you do… including freedom and lots of abundance. (You may want to check out the article we have on dealing with loneliness and attracting someone into your life, but it’s important to address this belief, first).
When and where did you learn that being in a relationship means giving up your freedom and choice? Tapping on those memories can help release the negative beliefs and help you see more possibilities.
Karate Chop: Even though I’m afraid to attract a relationship because I’m afraid I’ll lose my freedom, I’m open to releasing this belief and finding someone who loves me as I am.
Even though I think being in a relationship would mean giving up what I love, what if I could have my lifestyle and someone to love?
Even though I am scared of what a relationship would mean, what if I can create my own definition of relationship, and it can include my desires and my freedom?
Top of the Head: I’m scared of finding someone to love.
Eyebrow: Being in a relationship means sacrifice.
Side of the Eye: I don’t want to give up my freedom.
Under the Eye: I don’t want to give up my choices.
Under the Nose: No wonder I haven’t found a relationship.
Chin: The cost seems too high!
Collarbone: I love my freedom.
Under the Arm: I love doing what feels right to me.
Top of the Head: I learned that you have to sacrifice to have a partner.
Eyebrow: What if that was a lie?
Side of the Eye: What if I can still have choice?
Under the Eye: What if I can do what I want?
Under the Nose: Can I find someone who’s a good match?
Chin: Who wants us both to feel free?
Collarbone: What if my definition of relationship was off??
Under the Arm: Or really outdated?
Top of the Head: I love my freedom.
Eyebrow: And I would like to share my “yes” with someone else.
Side of the Eye: What if I didn’t have to give up my desires to love someone else?
Under the Eye: What if we could do wonderful things we both loved?
Under the Nose: I’m open to a new definition of relationship.
Chin: And I’m ready to attract someone who wants the same kind of connection.
Collarbone: I’m ready love.
Under the Arm: I’m ready to receive love.
Top of the Head: And feel free and happy doing it.
Take a deep breath.
How did that feel? Did you have any thoughts or memories about having to give up what you wanted to get love? Tapping on those experiences can help you release that “rule” and create a new and more freedom-feeling definition.