July 5, 2011 by Cathy Vartuli

Not Feeling Much… Want To Feel Good!

I want to feel love and happiness. Right now I feel kind of blah. I don’t get much intensity about things, but I don’t feel very good either. I’ve done a lot of tapping, and I tried other things to help. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling. What can I do to feel more good feelings? I really want to feel those great emotions! — Neal

Not Feeling Much... Want To Feel Good! 1Could you ask yourself if it feels safe to feel good? Do you deserve to feel good? If not, or if you just feel tense and uneasy when you think about those questions, you may have some subconscious blocks and fears holding you back.

You sound like you’re doing a lot of supportive things to help yourself. And someone who wasn’t open to love and joy wouldn’t be working this hard to find it!

Can you daydream about feeling happy? Sometimes that’s a great way to target the fears that are lurking below the surface. If you create a “story” about you being happy, and let it play forward, what happens to you? Do you get to enjoy the happiness… or does something unpleasant happen in your daydream?

Instead of beating yourself up or being disappointed if your story takes a negative turn, look at it as evidence of what your subconscious believes. Our imagination can be a powerful way to connect with our primitive brain and hidden beliefs.

For instance, when I used to daydream about success, I would feel happy for a little bit… but then I would find myself imagining people yelling at me and being really unhappy. My subconscious believed that if I let it shine it would cause conflict and jealousy in those close to me.

Once I understood what the fear was, I could ask myself where I learned that. I had a list of several events that taught me not to sparkle too much, including my kindergarten teacher ridiculing me for making a mistake when I counted higher than she asked me to. Silly, I know, but my 5 year old self decided if she “showed off” people would get angry.

Each of the events is great tapping material. You can do inner tapping or just tap on the memory like normal.

You might also ask yourself if you feel safe with “negative” emotions like anger and sadness. If you’re resisting them, they could be blocking the higher vibration feelings you’re looking for.

If you’re not much of a daydreamer, you can do some tapping and see what comes up. Even if the phrase doesn’t seem to apply to you, try tapping on it anyway. You might be surprised what comes up when your brain corrects the inaccurate statement.

If you get a strong negative reaction to a phrase, see if you can tune in and ask why you feel that way (this is where a coach or a trusted friend can help you have the courage to dig a bit deeper and see things clearer).

Karate Chop: Even though I’m not sure what I’m feeling, and that makes it hard to tap, I wonder why I don’t notice my feelings very much. I ask for clarity and guidance, and I’d like to learn to feel all the richness of my emotions.

Even though I really want to feel love and joy, I don’t right now. I must not deserve to feel good! It certainly isn’t safe to feel good! I wonder where I learned this. I ask my subconscious to clue me in so I can understand what’s going on.

Even though I just don’t feel much, and that felt like the safest strategy for a long time… I thank my brain for coming up with such a powerful solution, and I ask it to notice that a lot has changed. Maybe it’s safe to feel again.

Top of the Head: I’m not sure what I’m feeling.
Eyebrow: I’d like to reclaim my emotions.
Side of the Eye: All of them.
Under the Eye: I’m not sure where they went…
Under the Nose: But I know I had a good reason for stuffing them down.
Chin: I want to feel joy.
Collarbone: I want to feel love.
Under the Arm: Those feelings make life beautiful and worth living.

Top of the Head: I guess it wasn’t safe…
Eyebrow: Or maybe I was convinced I didn’t deserve to feel good.
Side of the Eye: Part of me decided to hide my emotions.
Under the Eye: I invite them back now.
Under the Nose: It was a good solution back then.
Chin: I was pretty clever!
Collarbone: But now it’s safe to have them.
Under the Arm: And I deserve to feel good.

Top of the Head: I guess I could start with baby steps.
Eyebrow: Could I allow a soft smile?
Side of the Eye: A little genuine laughter?
Under the Eye: Or just a chuckle?
Under the Nose: Does that feel safe?
Chin: Does that break a rule?
Collarbone: I ask for clarity…
Under the Arm: And gentle insights…
Top of the Head:To help me feel love and joy again.

Take a deep breath.

Not Feeling Much... Want To Feel Good! 2What did you notice? Where there any strong reactions? If you haven’t been noticing your emotions for a long time for whatever reason, it may be helpful to notice body sensations instead. Does your stomach feel relaxed and open… or tight and resistant? Tuning into your body may help you reconnect with your emotions.

If you’re ready to enjoy and celebrate your life, we want you to come play! Each joyful person raises everyone’s vibration. Our Group Coaching Program is geared to help you find your own inner joy and guidance. We have tools and approaches that can help you start feeling better, today.


  • Healthylifesources says:

    I actually love all that you both do in the world of Tapping. It has helped me in so many ways. Thank you very much!!!

  • Annerockhouse says:

    I am new to tapping and i so want to be happy and feel loved.I need to work on my addictions do you think tapping can help?

    • Our approach with addictions is to look at the thoughts and feelings you are using the addictions to suppress, and do some tapping on those. Do you feel the addictions come from past traumas at all?

      I’ll hold a Good Thought for you! -Rick

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