Facing Disappointment…
Feeling the Feelings
Do you fear disappointment?
So many of us run from that feeling. It makes us feel powerless and overwhelmed. Or, disappointments might evoke feelings of intense anger, even rage…
We learned to deal with emotions as small children, from watching those around us. Unfortunately, our parents often didn’t have a clue. Our friends were equally lost. And there we were, lost in the feelings with no idea how to process them or deal with them.
So we shut down and stopped wanting things so much. And we learn to stuff our feelings down. And avoid asking for what we want… So we won’t feel overwhelmed and awful. We start living small, inside the lines so we don’t risk hurting.
Then we wonder why life seems flat and dull.
What if you could learn some simple skills that allowed you to cope with disappointment much more easily? The things you needed to know when you were 3… and would be REALLY helpful to master now!
All humans experience disappointment. How they handle it, and their ability to face it and be with the feelings, can change the trajectory of their lives.
If you’d like to deal with disappointment in new ways, join us for this free coaching session:
During the session we mentioned the following extra resources available to you now:
- Emotional Freedom Circle ~ Group Coaching
- Reprogram Your Primitive Brain
- Free Tapping Guide
- Rick also offers private coaching sessions on a gliding scale.
We want you to move through the world with new ease and joy. And have lots more adventure and fun, too!
Cathy & Rick
Recorded: Wednesday, April 3, 2019
Thriving Now Events are also announced on our community news email list and our Facebook Events Page.
Facing Disappointment ~ Feeling the Feelings
"This is your time to be present with your feelings and to let your body, mind, and energy system do what they naturally do when life disappoints."
We’re Glad You’re Here
Hi, we’re Rick (Thriving Now) and Cathy (The Intimacy Dojo & Thriving Now).
Together we invite you to step out of avoidance and into relationship with disappointment—the same way we’re doing it, right here, right now. We’re walking the path with you, tapping as we go, laughing at our pony‑craving six‑year‑olds, calming our primitive brains, and reclaiming the creative energy hidden beneath every let‑down.
When the Pony Never Arrives
"So much of our energy is focused on avoiding the feeling."
Remember begging for a pony (or bike, or perfect report card) and watching your heart crack when it never showed? Many of us learned back then that big girls don’t cry, that disappointment is dangerous, and that good behavior should guarantee the goodies. We buried the ache—and kept burying it every time life said no.
EFT Tapping Round — Meeting the Let‑Down
Side of Hand: Oh, this is my body letting down… I’m being let down, and it’s scary. I’m open to the possibility that this let‑down is actually helping me.
Top of Head: Allowing this let‑down to land softly.
Eyebrow: I feel it.
Side of Eye: It’s always been scary.
Under the Eye: Really scary feeling.
Under the Nose: It’s been so uncomfortable.
Chin: Maybe it’s helping me.
Collarbone: I’m catching myself at neutral.
Under the Arm: Learning to catch myself when I’m let down.
The Biology of Let‑Down
"Wouldn’t it make sense, survival‑wise, that there has to be a fail‑safe to keep us from dying at the foot of the tree?"
Picture it: You’re a hungry ancestor, eyeing a single apple that’s just…out…of…reach. Your body floods you with get‑that‑apple juice. You jump, climb, throw sticks—and finally slump, spent. That chemical shift from Go Go Go! to Let it go is disappointment doing its job: saving your life so you can walk to the orchard down the path.
EFT Tapping Round — Letting the Body Land Softly
Side of Hand: Oh my God, I can’t feel this—it’s horrible! Bring me another plate of spaghetti, Netflix save me. This disappointment feels so awful, and my brain thinks it will last forever.
Top of Head: What if it doesn’t last forever?
Eyebrow: I don’t want to feel this.
Side of Eye: I don’t want to feel this awful forever.
Under the Eye: Yet most feelings don’t last very long.
Under the Nose: Especially when I tap.
Chin: What if I could be with it for just 30 seconds?
Collarbone: Let my body really feel it… and release it.
Under the Arm: Letting this energy move through.
Permission to Feel—for 30 Seconds
"What if I could just be with this for 30 seconds?"
Thirty seconds of honest sensation is often all it takes for the wave to crest and settle. We remind ourselves (and you) to check the basics first—food, water, rest, gentle connection—because an empty tank magnifies every bump.
EFT Tapping Round — Hearing No with Grace
Side of Hand: Even though hearing “no” is disappointing, and part of me reacts by feeling overwhelmed and pouring it all over the place, I’m inviting my system to handle the let‑down with greater grace.
Top of Head: I’m going to feel a let‑down.
Eyebrow: If it matters to me.
Side of Eye: And I’m not going to get it.
Under the Eye: Let down to let go.
Under the Nose: Is it okay to let it go?
Chin: A let‑down to help me let go.
Collarbone: Allowing the release.
Under the Arm: Softening into this let‑down.
From Disappointment to Creative Fuel
"I refuse to be so afraid that I don't move."
Anger and frustration can be rocket fuel when we aim them wisely. We’ve both used that fire to climb on the treadmill, grab the veggies, or send the courageous email instead of stuffing feelings with cake.
EFT Tapping Round — Using the Energy
Side of Hand: Even though I have a stockpile of disappointment, anger, and sadness, I refuse to let it stop me. I’m going to use some of this energy to make a better life for me.
Top of Head: I’m doing something courageous.
Eyebrow: I’m going to stop procrastinating.
Side of Eye: Take some action with this energy.
Under the Eye: Create what I most want.
Under the Nose: I refuse to be so afraid that I don’t move.
Chin: I refuse to put it off ’til tomorrow.
Collarbone: Using this energy for good.
Under the Arm: Creating the adventure I want.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
"If I’m just good enough I’ll never be disappointed again."
Primitive brains love that story—because it pretends we control everything. In truth, apples are sometimes out of reach, people cancel, and ponies eat a lot of hay. The hurt is real; the self‑blame is optional.
EFT Tapping Round — Releasing Self‑Blame
Side of Hand: Even though this disappointment hurts and I’m making it all my fault—deciding I’m bad and a failure—I don’t need to pour salt in the wound. I can just feel the energy and soothe myself.
Top of Head: Apples are sometimes out of reach.
Eyebrow: That doesn’t make me bad.
Side of Eye: Or a failure.
Under the Eye: It’s just a let‑down.
Under the Nose: I can feel it and learn.
Chin: Then follow what I really want.
Collarbone: Creativity lives beyond the let‑down.
Under the Arm: Moving toward my true needs.
Moving Forward—Together
We’re not here to avoid disappointment; we’re here to metabolize it, grow richer growth‑rings, and keep playing. Thank you for tapping with us, for feeling the feels, and for choosing presence over pre‑disappointment. You rock for looking at this.
Until next time—may every let‑down land softly and point you toward orchards overflowing with fresh possibilities.
Some people have a large capacity for disappointment. That Ain’t Me! I used to “protect myself” from disappointment by not trying or investing much of myself in the outcome. That sucked.
Today, I’ve developed much more capacity. I recognize and honor when I’m disappointed. I tap on the feelings if they get out of hand. I frame my life as an Engagement With rather than a “striving towards ____” (because, hey, I am really fortunate and my good fortunes don’t always come dressed in the outfit I had pictured. Vision boards don’t work if they are physical objects for me).
Cathy and I really do hope this session is useful for you. Since I’ve had a ton of experience coping with disappointment, it’s one of my coaching specialties ~ and it really can free someone to be in flow and thriving. If you would like to share what disappoints you and how you see that stopping you, leave a comment or drop me at email to rick@thrivingnow.com.
Heart hugs!
Rick