Most of us were never shown how to be self-aware in a self-empowering way. Instead, we were taught to focus on external measures… how smart (or dumb) we were… how well-groomed and successful we appeared… how polite and respectful we were to those in authority… After all, isn’t it how Other People perceive us and treat us that matters… that defines us?
So what happens…
- We run and run and run ourselves ragged to please others… and end up with fibromyalgia or cancer or some other mystery dis-ease.
- We are totally overwhelmed and consumed by grief when someone dear to us dies… and we are convinced we can never be happy again.
- We excel in ways a sibling or parent does not… we start holding back in order to make others happy… and develop a habit of self-limitation and self-denial that sticks with us.
- We enjoy delicious food and get criticized for it… skewing our relationship with everything we eat.
- We develop a phobia… and it doesn’t matter what it is… rats, snakes, elevators, water, airplanes, bridges, public speaking… and we feel like such a weakling… a loser… not good enough… less capable than everyone else.
- We were blamed for so much as a child that when a traumatic event strikes, we naturally are 100% convinced that “It’s my fault!”
- We become addicted to smoking or gambling or sex or drugs to soothe other unhealed emotional pains, and now feel so ashamed and weak-willed that we don’t really believe there is hope for us.
- We learned the hard way growing up that we MUST control and constrain all impulses–including the impulses to laugh, play, create, and love–or else we will get punished. “I must be perfect!!!” But we know we are not… and it’s stressing us to death.
- …And we should’ve known better! Right? Shoulda… woulda… coulda… We’ve mastered the art of second-guessing and self-criticizing every decision, every action, and every inaction.
If any of these apply to your world, you are not alone. It just FEELS that way sometimes, right?
Back in October 2007 I was invited to be one of the EFT practitioners leading a four day retreat. A small group of participants came together and brought their issues like grief, physical pain, phobias, disease, traumas, and addictions. The experience was filmed and is now a movie.
The Tapping Solution (formerly called Try It On Everything)!
The participants knew almost nothing about Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), so we started off by teaching them the basic tapping steps. And then we literally tried EFT on everything!
- On all the stuff they wished never happened in their lives… especially specific traumatic events.
- On physical pains.
- On emotional distresses and where those emotions were felt in their bodies.
- On limiting beliefs and negative self-talk.
- On regrets and self-blame.
- On relationships… past, present, future.
And what were the results??? What were the marvels and life-changing miracles the participants experienced?
Well, I am going to intentionally downplay the specifics (just as those who produced the movie have). In our culture we focus too much on the fix-a-flat aspects of healing rather than on the day-to-day aspects of going from stressed to okay and then from okay to thriving.
What the movie demonstrates poignantly are the benefits of developing the skills of:
- Self-awareness: Noticing what is going on in your habitual thoughts and in your physical body… and how the body-mind’s energies are interwoven in surprising ways.
- Self-honesty: Acknowledging how you really feel at the core… including inner conflicts… without artificial sugar-coating.
- Self-acceptance: Learning to deeply and completely accept yourself… no matter what’s in your past or your present.
- Self-empowerment: Knowing that you can now bring relief to your negative emotions and memories… no matter how long you have suffered with them.
THESE are the reasons I recommend people start using EFT and use it on everything negative that is coming up in their lives and in their bodies. Those who try EFT diligently start becoming more aware, more honest with themselves, more self-accepting, and feeling more empowered.
The movie demonstrates what happens in four days. What kind of difference could it make in your life if you used EFT every day and tried it on everything…?
Here are some suggestions
- Practice EFT every day.
**Even three minutes five times a day can help you build the habit.**
- Work with a skilled coach or therapist when useful.
Self-awareness and self-acceptance can be easier to develop with experienced support.
- Consider working with a group.
**Borrowing benefits means tapping along as others address their specific issues. You can explore that kind of group work in the Thriving Now Circle.**
- Use EFT on whatever is arising in your body or feels stressful in your mind.
Try it on everything—seriously.
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