January 12, 2017 by Thriving Now Support

Transforming The Ego… Rather Than Fighting It

So many books, programs, gurus, and spiritualist talk about overcoming the ego. Fighting it. Some even insist you must destroy the ego or you can never live a true spiritual life.

What if you could love your ego… and sooth it… and help it transform instead? Perhaps it could become your biggest supporter and head cheerleader.

What if you could take all the energy and watchfulness you would need to fight against your ego… and instead co-created the world you want to live in?

Just like the subconscious, there is no particular part of your brain anyone can point to and say “here is your ego.” The word ego is a shorthand way of describing how parts of the brain, the body-mind, and aspects of your personality function.

Our reading is that the ego consists of the parts of us that want to stay safe and feel loved and important. To the primitive brain this is Priority #1. The primitive brain is tied to the belief that if you don’t survive, nothing else matters. And being valued by your primitive “tribe” could mean the difference between life and death.

The ego, as it’s identified by most people, consists of old traumatized parts of us, internalized voices of our parents and teachers (stored in the mirror neurons), and many other fearful, scared bits of ourselves. It’s easy to blame those parts of us and see them as “the problem.” Their chatter and rules seem to get in the way of a peaceful, abundant life. They can cause us to do things we don’t mean to or want to (self-sabotaging ourselves).

But in each of those bits of us there is also immense creativity, energy, and self-love. Each of those bits truly wants the best for us and is trying desperately to get it… based on their current understanding (which admittedly may be very out of date). Rather than suppressing and fighting those parts of us, we can choose to love them and help them get updated data… so they can help us achieve our desires.

That’s how we approach tapping. Every time we say “Even though I have this issue, I love and accept myself anyway” (or whatever your version of that affirmation statement is), we send some love and acceptance to one of those scared bits of us.

And just like a frightened child who is finally safe, tapping helps send safe energy to that part of us… so we can relax and take a deep breath. Rather than running in a blind panic, forcing quick action to protect ourselves from terrible danger, that part of us can look around and notice new input. It can learn what is helpful now and turn its focus on creating more and more Good Stuff in our lives.

We can talk to those parts of us and help them feel safe and valued. We can give them new jobs that align with our current goals and aspirations. And it feels so good to be able to relax and reclaim that part of us.

Imagine what it would be like to not feel that constant inner struggle between you and YOU. It is possible. We see such shifts happen within our clients every single day. We pray that you find the same inner peace, too. If there is anything we can do to help, please feel free to write us anytime at support@thrivingnow.com.

Let’s do some tapping together now.

If you’ve been fighting part of yourself, just try… for a few minutes… sending love and acceptance instead. You might be delighted and surprised with the results!

Karate Chop: Even though I thought I had to fight this part of me, and I blamed it for everything that went wrong, what if I could transform this vital, inner relationship between me and ME?

Even though they taught me to suppress parts of me, and I tried that for a long time, I’m tired of the struggle… and I’m ready to approach this differently.

Even though I thought my ego was bad, what if it’s been trying to help me all along, in it’s own way? I choose to connect and help it redirect its energies in new and empowering ways.

Top of the Head: Stupid ego!
Eyebrow: Always getting in my way.
Side of the Eye: Messing things up!
Under the Eye: Making me feel self-centered and bad.
Under the Nose: I thought I was bad for having an ego.
What if that’s like feeling bad for having a belly button?
Collarbone: Everyone has an ego.
Under the Arm: Maybe I can look at this differently.

Top of the Head: What if my ego has been trying to help…
Eyebrow: The best way it knows how?
Side of the Eye: Maybe I could thank it for its efforts.
Under the Eye:
I wonder if I could ask it to help me instead?
Under the Nose: It wants me to be safe.
It wants me to succeed.
Collarbone: It just has a funny way of helping.
Under the Arm: I bet we could work together and co-create something wonderful!

Top of the Head: I thought I had to struggle.
Eyebrow: Maybe I don’t.
Side of the Eye: I thought I had to force my ego to behave…
Under the Eye:
But I can tap with it instead.
Under the Nose: It took a lot of energy to fight myself.
Now I have all kinds of energy to play with instead.
Collarbone: I thank my ego for working with me.
Under the Arm: I invite it to share perspectives and send inspiration.
Top of the Head: I can’t wait to see what we manifest together!

Take a deep breath.

How do you feel? Does it feel safe to allow this inner transformation… or are you remembering different times when it wasn’t safe to allow yourself to relax and flow towards abundance and love? Did you learn that you have to watch yourself ALL the time or bad things would happen?

Tapping on those memories (and old traumas big and small) can help you feel safer and learn a new way of looking at life… and yourself.

If you want help, our group coaching program is a great way to accelerate your inner growth:


Thank you so much for this enlightened approach to ego issues.  Somewhere along the way, I picked up the idea that our ego had to be subdued and was an unpleasant part of the human experience.  And I’ve spent time ‘fighting’ with mine.

 I would never have thought of inviting it to share perspectives and send inspiration.  This feels SO much better !!!


  • Wow, I really appreciate this article – especially the definition of the ego as parts of us “that want to stay safe, feel loved and important” – ain’t that the truth?  It jumps into the middle of whatever I’m trying to do from a higher level of consciousness and has a major tantrum until I have to pay attention to it, ugh.  This really touched me – I have to admit, I had some resistance to the idea of accepting andloving my ego in order to get it to work with me rather than sabotage my efforts, I believe in tapping for everything as it has brought results in other areas for me so…..  Thanks for this!

    • Ego tantrums… yeah. Pay attention with respect and the tantrum often melts into a deeper, integrated wisdom in my experience.

  • Universerequests says:

    Thanks Great Article.  How much peaceful I feel just allowing and asking for support from the Ego instead of destroying it.  When i read this, I’m like, why would I want to consciously destroy apart of me?  It’s there to keep me say, so my mind is now saying, why would you want to destroy your protector?  Thanks.. lot of great insight from this…

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