Boundaries
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When Asking for Help Feels Like Signing a Hidden Contract
Some people avoid asking for help even when the need is obvious and the request is reasonable. They keep fixing, carrying, researching, paying, or enduring because receiving support does not feel free. It feels like signing a contract whose terms will be revealed later. Perhaps help once arrived with criticism, control, guilt, unwanted intimacy, repayment…
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How to NO
*by Whitney Hess, via A List Apart: Articles: No One Nos: Learning to Say No to Bad Ideas, with comments about the emotional blocks to saying NO by Rick@Thrivingnow.com* Last October while on the phone with Harry Max—a pioneer in the field of Information Architecture, co-founder of Virtual Vineyards/Wine.com, (the first secure shopping system on…
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Supporting an Adult Child Without Letting Guilt Decide
When an adult child is struggling, love can become tangled with guilt, regret, fear, and responsibility. A parent may keep paying, rescuing, arranging, or absorbing consequences long after the support has stopped feeling clear. The difficult question is rarely, “Do I love them?” The harder question is, “What kind of support serves life now?” There…
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Boundaries: Yours, Mine, and Ours
A lot of us never learned boundaries growing up. Even if we did, managing them with ease and grace is not always natural. We help you define what is yours to decide on and show you ways to stand up for that. And we delve into some of the grey areas that occur when we…
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The Perfect Job for Now: A Two-List Exercise for a Better Job Search
Searching for the perfect job can create a peculiar kind of paralysis. One role has meaningful work but the wrong hours. Another offers security but requires tasks your body cannot comfortably do. A third looks promising until one unwelcome detail makes the whole possibility collapse. Instead of demanding the perfect job forever, try identifying the…
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I Feel Overwhelmed: Finding Clarity One Baby Step at a Time
– Trying to do it all at once – Trying to do it all by myself – Setting boundaries – Clutter – Too many priorities – Too many projects and good ideas – Too many symptoms – Too much holiday hype
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I Hate Being Dependent on Others: A Guide to Healthy Interdependence
We all depend on (rely on) others for support. The angst comes from a few sources: 1) If someone gives me something, I owe them or they control me. (other definitions of dependent). 2) A belief in lack- if I rely on this, and it goes away, I won’t be able to stand it! 3)…