Boundaries
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Ask for What Is in Character—Then Decide What You Need
We often ask people we know very well for the thing they have repeatedly shown they do not naturally offer. We ask the chronically late person to prove love by arriving precisely on time. We ask the emotionally avoidant relative for a deep repair conversation. We ask the disorganized friend to manage the details. We…
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When Freaking Out Is the Only Exit Your System Trusts
Sometimes we do not become intense because we enjoy intensity. We become intense because quieter signals have repeatedly failed. We asked normally. We hinted. We explained. We waited. We tried to be reasonable. Nothing changed. Then we cried, shouted, collapsed, threatened to leave, or became physically overwhelmed—and suddenly everyone paid attention. The primitive brain learns…
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Boundaries
Dr. David Gruder is an expert on personal boundaries and creator of the NICE™ Boundaries Method. Below is an edited excerpt with comments in italics by Rick@Thrivingnow.com. What is a Boundary? “A boundary is any limit I need to honor so I can love or work with you without resentment and with integrity.” A boundary…