So often when we set life goals or resolutions, they are either around Big Things We Want or Big Things We Must FIX.
If you are the rare type of person who can WANT something and feel delicious expectation and hope all along the way to achieving it, such goal setting can indeed put into motion all that is required to make those dreams a reality.
Yet for many, the journey from “where I am now” to “where I really want to be” can seem… overwhelming… too far off to hope for… even depressingly unreachable.
What I want to tell you is that such emotion doesn’t mean you can’t get there! It only means you have a strong desire, which is the first step.
The next step is for you to take an emotional journey where you starting caring more about how you feel than about what is happening. You start moving up the vibrational scale from feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, or even depressed to a place where what you want feels like it’s the next logical step.
Along the way, the emotional pain you feel is your inner guidance system letting you know that your current mental and emotional focus is not yet compatible with who you want to BE, what you want to DO, and all you want to HAVE.
We can use that perfect inner guidance system to take you step-by-emotional-step at your unique pace. This is the energetic, vibrational approach to “achieving our goals.” And it requires choosing a FOCUS that is in alignment with all we want in our lives. And that FOCUS, simply stated, is:
I Choose To Feel Good!
Such a committed focus on feeling good above all else will have a profound impact on your well-being.
First, this focus brings greater awareness to our habitual thoughts and core beliefs. For example, we know that repetitively entertaining a thought that makes us feel bad is counter to feeling good. The negative thought is as incompatible with you and with your well-being as… drinking diesel fuel for an energy boost!
You are not designed to run on thought energy that feels terrible to you!
What I teach Thriving Now Emotional Freedom Circle Members is how to “soften” habitual language of self-criticism and judgment and reach for a thought that brings even just a little relief. That bit of relief, which Tapping makes tremendously easier, is a sign from your emotional guidance system that we’re on the right track.
And when you KNOW, from your day-to-day experience, that you can soften the negative thoughts and feelings that crop up, you develop calm confidence that you can take any situation and maintain emotional equilibrium… and even make the best of it.
The focus on feeling good also helps us to discover physical, mental, emotional, financial, and spiritual practices that improve our energy. Some common life-enhancing practices are meditation, prayer, mindfulness, dreaming/visualizing, massage, movement/dance, play, laughter, journaling, and appreciation/gratitude. The list is endless!
If given two choices, the one that feels better (even slightly) to you and your heart than the alternative is a positive sign from your emotional guidance system that you have chosen the best fork in the road and are on the right path.
As you move along the emotional journey step-by-step, certain emotions may feel surprisingly good to you.
For example, from a place of depression and disempowerment, anger and even thoughts of revenge and hate can feel like relief. Good!! In a state of anger, we have energy moving, and it is far easier when energy is moving to reach thoughts that feel even better than anger… like overwhelm and frustration.
(Going up the vibrational scale like this takes practice and is a perfect topic for our coaching work together.)
Of course, once you spend some time with the life-giving energy of anger, it will stop feeling very good to you. Anger is still a low vibration. Your Inner Being always yearns for an even better feeling.
At this point, you have a choice again: to go back into depression and guilt/shame because it is “bad” to feel “angry,” or Choose to Feel Good by reaching for a little bit of relief from the anger… even if that means feeling only “optimistically pessimistic.”
Keep choosing a thought and feeling that brings just a bit of relief, and you will be well on your way to eventually experiencing peace, joy, and even Bliss. You may not know “how to feel good,” yet. That’s fine! This is a skill that can be learned by anyone.
The core gifts of an inner emotional guidance system and your own personal connection to the Source of Well-Being are already yours. How to misuse these gifts to feel BAD is, strangely, more socially acceptable in our culture than to use them to feel GOOD.
Aren’t we supposed to feel anxiety, stress, guilt, shame, and worse??? Well, if you are ready and willing to buck the trend… if you’re ready to use your God-given gifts to really start thriving… Then decide. Write down with a clear intention: I Choose to Feel Good! and join us on this emotional journey. We’re going to have a GREAT time!
Refreshing this from 2006, just before I resolved to feel good about the work I do in the world and become a fulltime Emotional Freedom Coach. This fits also with our Real Skills focus on Be What Matters — Boost Your Energy!