What Your Primitive Brain Is
Doing To You Around People!
with Cathy Vartuli & Rick Wilkes
Do you find yourself acting in ways you don’t want to act? (Who IS this person?!?! Where did THAT come from?!?!)- Do you find yourself feeling like you want to run away while another part of you wants to stay?
- Have you found yourself feeling shut down and isolated… and like all your worst fears just came true?
If so, we invite you to join us and tap along in this workshop as we explore together what your primitive brain is doing to you around other people… and how you can prepare yourself to be more solid, grounded, and resilient in social situations.
https://youtu.be/iMOQ3GCyqc4
Recorded: Saturday, March 2, 2019. One of our participants requested that their session be removed from the video.
Our Reprogram Your Primitive Brain Coaching Program goes into this in depth and truly helps you develop deep resilience and solid, calm presence around others.
Thriving Now Events are also announced on our community news email list and our Facebook Events Page.
What Your Primitive Brain Is Doing to You Around People!
“Our primitive brain has an amazing amount of power—it can help a mom lift a car off a small child, and it can also hijack every social interaction we try to have.”
The Tug-of-War Inside Us
“My intellectual brain wants to be playful and adult; my primitive brain is shouting, ‘People are scary—protect yourself!’”
We’ve both felt that surreal moment when our mouths blurt something we never planned and our bodies scream, “Maybe I should never leave the house.” That inner clash isn’t a character flaw—it’s the primitive brain trying to keep us alive, even when no real danger is present.
We’ll explore how that system sniffs for threat the way a single deer lifts its head and, within seconds, the whole herd bolts. We’ll also show you how to partner with the primitive brain instead of fighting it—so you can stay present with yourself and other people.
Borrowed Anxiety
“One musician brushed my arm, and suddenly my nervous system felt the whole room’s jitters.”
Our bodies read micro-cues—tiny shifts in posture, scent, even electrical vibration. Last night at the lounge, the band waiting to perform was buzzing with silent panic. My primitive brain soaked it up and yelled, “Leave!”
A quick bathroom tapping reset my system: wash hands, tap, breathe, repeat. Five minutes later I could find a comfortable spot and stay.
Why Hiding Nerves Feels Creepy
“Humans can tell when someone’s hiding their nervousness—that’s when it comes off creepy.”
At intimacy events we see it all the time: pretending not to be nervous makes everyone more uneasy. Owning the truth—“Hey, I feel awkward asking this…”—lets other primitive brains relax. Honesty is powerful social lubricant.
EFT Tapping Round — Listening to the Primitive Brain
(Pause, breathe, and join us point-by-point. We’ve kept every word exactly as spoken.)
Side of Hand: Even though I have no idea what’s going on—there are no clear thoughts there—and it just feels like I’m over-reacting again, I don’t like over-reacting. I bet my primitive brain does not think I’m over-reacting.
Top of Head: What if it’s just trying to keep me safe?
Eyebrow: The more I ignore it, the more upset it gets.
Under the Eye: Hey there, primitive brain.
Under the Nose: Thank you for caring so painfully much.
Chin: It feels overwhelming sometimes.
Collarbone: I bet you have a legitimate reason for trying to get my attention; I’ll try to listen a little better.
Hunger, Distance, and the Push-Pull Dance
“Our primitive brain will protect us by either grabbing too fast or pushing people away.”
Scarcity says “grab that person now or lose them forever.” Fear says “drive them off before they hurt us.” Both strategies leave us lonely or tangled in unhealthy connections. Balance begins when we notice the impulse and breathe before acting.
EFT Tapping Round — Building Resilience
Side of Hand: Even though sometimes this just feels weird—I feel like I don’t have control over how I interact with other people or even with myself, and when I fight it, it just makes it worse—I accept how I feel right now.
Top of Head: What if I take a slow, deep breath and simply be with these feelings?
Under the Eye: People look so put-together from the outside, but inside we’re kind of messy.
Side of Eye: And a gift to others.
Under the Nose: I’m creating more resilience in my body right now.
Chin: I kind of rock.
Collarbone: I’m really proud of the effort I’m making and my courage to show up.
Top of Head: I’m teaching my primitive brain how to calm down and form a better link with my cognitive brain—what a gift to me.
Owning Our Awkward
“All that’s happened is I’m comfortable with the fact that I’m awkward sometimes, and other people are awkward sometimes.”
We used to dream of becoming perfectly polished—never anxious, never fumbling. Now we see the true miracle: being comfortable with our inevitable awkward moments. When we accept that, we invite real connection. People risk being silly, trying new things, and laughing with us when it flops.
Closing—A Gift to the World
“By tapping, breathing, and showing up, we create a space where everyone can be genuine.”
Thank you for having the courage to explore your primitive brain with us. Each time you pause, tap, and breathe, you strengthen the bridge between safety and connection—for yourself and for the people lucky enough to meet the real you. Until next time, keep rocking your beautifully human self.
Becoming resilient around others when they are stressed and in their primitive brain has made SUCH a difference in my life. In a podcast episode, I share about how you can bring this to others at work: Stress Relief in We-Space :: https://www.thrivingnow.com/stress-relief-in-we-space/