Do you feel trapped in your mind with negative thoughts and stories?
Those powerful thoughts can overwhelm, deplete, and shatter our confidence and sense of safety. They literally mug us and build fear and disempowerment.
Last time I talked about the difference between being in Victim, Survivor, and Thriver Modes and what a person in each level is able to do.
Trying to force yourself to take steps you’re not ready for can just add to the sense of powerlessness, yet doing nothing means being a hostage to those thoughts and fears.
Let’s look at how big a step you might be ready for.
For each of these statements write down how true it is from 0 (not true at all) to 10 (absolutely true).
1) Right this minute, I feel powerful and capable. ______
2) At this moment in time, I feel like I can direct my thoughts and energy. _____
3) At this time, I feel safe and confident about my life and my direction. _____
Each of us calibrates a bit differently, but as a place to start, if any of those answers were 0, 1, or 2, you’re probably in victim space right now. Don’t worry! You can change this! It’s not about NEVER being in victim mode… It’s about recognizing it and doing gentle things to move out of that space rather than feeling stuck there.
What can you do if you’re in Victim Mode?
If you’re in victim space, your job is to do what gentle, loving, grounding things you can to help your primitive brain and your body realize you’re actually safe now. (Of course, if you’re in a physically dangerous space, please seek police or medical help immediately!).
For most of us, we feel trapped and fearful when there isn’t a threat right now. We may remember threats. We may have experienced horrible things. But right now we’re actually safe.
Take a slow deep breath and let it out… making sound. As simple or silly as this might sound–it works! You’re giving physical feedback to your brain from your body saying you’re safe. Someone being chase by a bear does NOT take slow deep breaths, and they certainly don’t make sounds!!
Consciously look around the room and notice the distinct lack of bears, lions, and other physical threats. Really let yourself notice your surroundings. Send whatever calming thoughts you can to yourself, as you would comfort a scared child.
I recommend you have a collection of a few songs, recordings, inspirational videos or the like that you can watch when you feel overwhelmed like this. Coming from victim mode, it’s almost impossible to stop the mental mugging (that comes after you shift out of victim space)… But you can displace it! Having comforting recordings can help you get there faster.
There are a number of free recordings on Thriving Now that may work for you. I adore Rick’s Breathing Audio and Spiritual Growth With EFT. I’ve listened to both many times when life felt hard and received comfort and ease.
Finally, ask yourself how “old” that feeling of being helpless is. For most of us, a big chunk of it may be feelings from when we were kids… I know some of the heartbreak I’ve felt has been 90% old energies and 10% current stuff. Reminding yourself that you’re working through old energies too may take some of the burden off.
If you can, don’t judge yourself for being “here”. Almost everyone goes to victim space sometimes. Just practice getting yourself out and up as soon as possible so you can change your mind and empower you life!
I’ll send you an email discussing Survivor Mode next… And there will be more tapping soon too!
To Ending Mental Muggings!