I’ve been doing some Inner Tapping and found a lot of comfort from it. Sometimes I just feel scared and overwhelmed with pain. I know it’s from long ago, but I can’t figure out right now what caused the fear or hurt. How do I comfort that scared younger me? — Rhonda
We often use specific memories as a doorway to the feelings and a connection to the younger self. But when there are no specific memories (sometimes they come up later, when you feel less frightened and frozen), you can still comfort and soothe your younger self. And you can start the healing process right where you are. Helping that younger self feel less isolated, panicked, and hurt is the essence of healing.
With Inner Tapping, you imagine tapping on your younger self as you tap on your physical self here and now. If you can’t picture your younger self, you can tap on yourself and imagine sending these words and the love and warm energy to her, all those years ago.
Sometimes this can bring up intense emotions. We have grounding exercises you can turn to. And get help if you need it. Get a friend, a coach, or a therapist to help. Join or create a tapping group. Don’t do this alone if it doesn’t feel safe.
You might try tapping on something like this for your younger self…
Karate Chop: Hi Sweetheart. I know I haven’t always been there for you. I just wanted you to know that I hear you now, and I’ll do my best to love you and help you heal.
Even though I ignored you or maybe even felt angry at you in the past, I understand now, and I’ll do my best to be there for you. I may mess it up sometimes… I’m still learning… but we can learn this together.
Even though you’ve been hurting and feeling stuck and alone, we have tapping and support to help us. And we’re not alone anymore! We have each other. That can make all the difference in the world.
Top of the Head: Even though you’re hurting, I still love you.
Eyebrow: Even though you feel alone, I’m here.
Side of the Eye: I’m sorry I didn’t hear you sooner.
Under the Eye: I didn’t know what to do.
Under the Nose: I understand now.
Chin: I’m sending you love.
Collarbone: I’m listening.
Under the Arm: I’m doing this silly tapping stuff that works so well.
Top of the Head: We’ve both been confused and lost for so long.
Eyebrow: But neither of us gave up.
Side of the Eye: We have a lot of courage.
Under the Eye: And we’re pretty darn smart.
Under the Nose: I bet we can figure this out together!
Chin: I like knowing you care about feeling better.
Collarbone: You’ve been trying to feel better for years.
Under the Arm: I’m ready to help now… we can do it together.
Top of the Head: It was frightening.
Eyebrow: We both felt alone.
Side of the Eye: But we can heal this hurt.
Under the Eye: And create a life we both want.
Under the Nose: You did so well.
Chin: I know it was hard.
Collarbone: You never gave up.
Under the Arm: Thank you.
Top of the Head: I love you so much… and together we can learn to love me.
Take a deep breath.
How does that feel?
Sometimes this kind of tapping is “enough” for now. It may soothe the hurt and release the pain. It may also help you connect with the hurt more specifically… you may remember why your younger self was hurting so much. (You can even ask her.) If it feels right, you can tap with your younger self in that situation. We love “freeze framing” the scene first, so no one can walk in, start yelling, or reacting in your memory.
A lot of early traumas were the result of feeling alone and isolated. This work can be surprisingly gentler and easier when you have caring attention and guidance for the process. Our Group Coaching Program is designed to help you feel safe and connected while you transform your blocks and start feeling surprisingly vital and confident…even lovable! You can use a nickname for the calls and the forum if it helps you feel safe. Many people find it especially healing to learn they are not alone with their problems, that others have or had similar issues and are clearing them. We invite you to join now!