by Rick Wilkes
Wouldn’t it be affirming, amidst the pain that naturally comes when relationships change, to hear from your dearest friends:
“Wow, you’re handling this SO well.”
“I’m really proud of how you’re behaving amidst all this.”
“OMG! How are you not freaking out?!? That would kill me!”
“The consistently graceful and kind way you are treating your former lover throughout all the twists and turns of this change helps me feel really secure and safe being open and loving with you. You’ve proven to me how amazingly steadfast and resilient your love is… no matter what. I trust you now more than ever… and that’s saying something!”
If this is how you’d like to be… no matter what happens in your love relationships and partnerships… then let’s continue…
When love relationships are the dearest part of your life, and you’re also someone who is growing and changing emotionally and spiritually… well… you’re going to have some loverships and friendships either end… or at least morph into something quite different than they once were.
For us lover-types, breakups and heartbreaks are a part of life we must learn to handle WELL, ideally with surprising grace and resilience.
If we don’t learn this skill and develop a circle of support to help us through transitions, we’ll shut down and not open ourselves to love. Without heart-healing skills, it no longer feels safe to love. That’s why so many people walk around emotionally fragile and closed off. They’ve been hurt, and they have yet to heal.
For me to stop LOVING would be like for me stop BREATHING!
So I’ve HAD to learn and practice emotional skills like EFT Tapping. I’ve used tapping to soothe my primitive brain when it freaks (and it will)… to clear old traumas that come up (and they will)… and to keep self-doubts from taking over (and they will try).
Tapping has helped me personally feel surprisingly calm and confident… even through: a separation and divorce after 22 years together, leaving another satisfying business relationship of 9 years with men and women who I admire and enjoyed very much, the sudden termination of a deep friendship and business partnership of 7 years when her personal circumstances radically changed, and most recently the end of my primary lovership of 4.5 years and its transformation (so far!) into a mutually comfortable, supportive friendship with her and her kids.
That’s a lot for 5 years, eh? Clearly, tapping does not magically mean that all your love relationships will last forever no matter what. That would be goofy. Some relationships run their course in a month, a year, a decade. Others lose the safety, respect, and freedom that true love needs to flourish. It’s spiritually wise to recognize this and accept it as part of being a loving, engaged person. Tapping can keep the lines of communcation and love open, and soothe the minor griefs and heartbreaks that occur even within awesome relationship, too… to keep the connection vital and loving.
What tapping can also do is help make sure that YOU live happily ever after with YOU, that YOU continue to grow in love of self and love connection with others… no matter what. It helps you remain open and available for connection.
And it works. I’ve stayed confidently open to love. That has meant that during this same time period, new core relationships have arisen that serve my needs and my heart so beautifully. My best friend and business partner Cathy is a shining example of that. Tapping has helped us stay strong in our shared mission to help The People Like Us Who Love to LOVE feel good about themselves, to clear the old traumas and release the fears, and to confidently co-create powerful love connections.
Today, I have healing partnerships which are flexible and healthy. I am engaged with clients across the world and feel enriched by the sense that we are joined TOGETHER in this work. I am at peace in my heart when alone… and open and receptive when with my safe and happy friends.
I’d love to hear your questions and feedback in the comment section at the bottom of the page here.