June 14, 2023 by Rick ~ Thrivingnow

What Did You Expect? Healing the Pain of Unmet Expectations

Are Unmet Expectations Causing You Pain? 

(If you're human, I bet they are!)

How does it feel in your body when something unexpected happens? What happens in your mind? It's really natural for us as humans to have reactions... we expect things to be a certain way! And far too often, unmet expectations HURT!

Expectations set us up....

When expectations are met, it makes our life easier. We expect water from the water faucet, so we turn to it when thirsty. But we do not expect mud! When expectations are not met, an alert is always triggered! How we process that alert can lead to distress and confusion... or towards wonder, solid presence, capable action, and calm confidence. 

When we use certain emotional tools like EFT Tapping, things can become a LOT easier for us and those we interact with. What we're going to be doing together, if you'd like, is to take some expectations that members of our community have offered, and we'll address them and heal the pain. 

Why bother to do this?

To become more emotionally free through this work gives us more spaciousness... and much less stress and self-criticism. It allows us to be cleaner and clearer with those we hold dear (and even the strangers we pass by). It gives us energy to do work that matters in the world, and the resilience necessary to have long-term loving connections. 

Let's get started!

Below are videos with tapping and coaching. Pick the scenario(s) that feel closest to your own expectations and reactions, and let's tap together. 

Your Emotional Freedom Coach

New to Tapping? Our Free EFT Tapping Guide is available to help you learn.

Special thanks to our Thriving Now community for offering these scenarios where they feel pain from unmet expectations. Feel free to comment with your own!

I Expect to Do More and Faster!

1. When I have a simple to-do task...

...I expect that I can get it done in 10 minutes or less, but when it takes 2 HOURS instead, I feel so frustrated and like I'm 'wasting' my life!! (And it keeps me from starting other tasks I also think "should" only take a short time.)

2. When I try to write blog posts...

...I expect to be able to complete them in an hour or two, but when it takes hours or even days, I feel demotivated, frustrated, and worthless!! (And it keeps me from pursuing other tasks I know are necessary to make my blog grow.)

3. When I plan my day with 2-4 tasks...

...and I expect to get done in an hour or two, but my leg pain flares up so much that I have to lay down many times, I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and so angry!

I Expect Friendly Greetings

4. When I expect a friendly interaction... 

...but instead I get avoided or a dirty look, I feel shocked and hurt. It keeps me from approaching that person again.

5. When I meet an old colleague or neighbor unexpectedly...

...and greet them warmly, I expect at least some kind of acknowledgement -- but when they look away and act like they don't even know me, I end up searching my mind -- endlessly -- for when and how I offended them. WHAT did I do to deserve this??!!

6. When I meet someone along the sidewalk and smile...

...I expect a return smile or a nod to happen, but when I get a frown or a guarding of their possessions happens instead, I feel sad and embarrassed for misjudging them!! (And it keeps me from trusting myself to choose wisely and safely!)

I Expect Safe, Loving Connections

7. When I express myself...

...I expect others to listen to and understand it. When things happen opposite, I feel betrayed and cheated. (It keeps me from trusting and relating to others again.)

8. When I bring home a big vase of flowers...

...and set it in the middle of the kitchen island, I expect it will be noticed, and when it isn't even noticed, I feel invisible and unappreciated. (Even though I appreciate the beauty.)

9. When the world is in pain and chaos ensues...

...and people are fighting and hurting each other, I expect people to handle each other with more care... to show understanding, compassion, and empathy... and meet what's happening with love! But when people are instead more cruel and mean to each other, I feel heartbroken, defeated, and angry. When will people start caring about each other and the world and see our inherent interconnectedness???)!! (And it keeps me from wanting to keep my heart open/doesn’t feel safe in a world where the priority isn’t to care and love each other.)

Unmet Expectations - Community Workshop Recording

Expectations vs. Agreements - Community Workshop Recording

Was this Useful? If so, Please Donate! Thank you!

Did you benefit from these tapping and coaching sessions? If so, and it is possible for you to do so, would you take a moment and donate?

I know that many people are financially challenged (and even depleted) right now... worldwide. Rather than offer this as a paid-only course on a gliding scale of $17-47, it feels like healing the pain of unmet expectations... and avoiding a lot of pain through healthy agreements... is really USEFUL for our community right now. I didn't want an upfront fee, even one backed by a money back guarantee, to keep anyone in need from watching the sessions and tapping along to get healing relief. 

Was I right? Did you find this useful?

My family is growing (with a baby girl on the way! Yay!)... and even a $1 donation means we feel your support for this work. It's both energetic and financial... and your donation matters. Thank you! ~Rick@Thrivingnow.com

Could You Use Personal Help NOW?

  • Want to share your own scenario where an unmet expectation leads of shock, pain, or avoidance? You can use this template:

    When _______ (describe situation), I expect __________ to happen, but when _______ happens instead, I feel ______!! (And it keeps me from ______!)

    • anonymous says:

      When I ask for help and sons, do not connect except holidays, or are emotionally unavailable, I feel like nothing I say or do will take my awful feeling away.

      • That’s really hard to have that be what happens. What is it that you expect from them? And do you have words to describe what the awful feeling is, and where you feel it in your body? That can really help target the tapping. ~Rick

  • WOW. When we show up Together we move energy, find relief, and feel more ourselves. Thank you to all those who co-created this healing experience.

    If you missed attending the session live, the recording of our community coaching session on Healing The Pain of Unmet Expectations is available here (towards the bottom of the page, the first video with Cathy’s smiling face).


    We’re having another workshop on Expectations vs. Agreements on August 25th.

    There is such power you can bring to your relationships when you transform “unspoken, unmet expectations” into conscious Agreements.

    The sign-up box is at the top of the page. The recording will also be available here afterwards for those who might be sleeping and unable to attend live. ~Rick

  • So fabulous having Tapping to get me set up for the day, & especially drop the pressure, I put on myself, to get more done

  • Thank you for Expectations vs. Agreements community co-creation. When we become conscious of our expectations we can have the freedom to choose… to find Agreements that work for those we interact with, and especially to find Agreement within ourselves about what matters… how we’d like to live and love amongst others. Blessings to us all!

  • So appreciating the emails and offerings from the community. I chose to do 9 specific ones since they encapsulated the most common aspects of Expectations and Agreements. If you’d like to go deeper, we invite you to join us! Learn more here: https://www.thrivingnow.com/circle/

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