January 1, 2009 by Thriving Now Support

EFT Tapping Tip: No “Wrong” Words

Listen (08:17) or Download MP3

Key points:

  • You can use any words that come up for you.
  • You can even use noises!
  • No one is grading you.
  • You can accept yourself… and if not, tap for the hell of it!

“I just can’t seem to come up with the right words.”

So many people new to tapping using Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) get wrapped up in having the perfect words to say. They learn the points, start listening to audio sessions, and have a pretty good idea of where they would like to use EFT to make improvements in their life. But they don’t act. They feel so stymied about where to start and what to say that they don’t tap.

I’m here to tell you… there are no “wrong” words for you to use when they come from within YOU. How is that possible? Let me explain.

EFT is based on the premise that all negative emotions are caused by a disruption in the body’s energy system. We connect with those negative emotions by describing them. This description need not be articulate. It need not even strike our brains as particularly truthful or accurate! If they are YOUR words being used to connect with a feeling YOU are feeling, then they are PERFECT.

They don’t even have to be words. For example, if you have this <groan> feeling in the pit of your stomach, you can use the following EFT sequence: (We start at the karate chop point)

“Even though I have this <groan> feeling in my stomach, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I have this <groan> feeling in my stomach, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
“Even though I have this <groan> feeling in my stomach, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Then tap  the points and make the <groan> noise:

(Top of head) This <groan> feeling
(Eyebrow) This <groan> feeling
(Side of eye) This <groan> feeling
(Under eye) This <groan> feeling
(Under nose) This <groan> feeling
(Chin) This <groan> feeling
(Collarbone) This <groan> feeling
(Under arm) This <groan> feeling

Take a deep breath….

You can use a <shriek> feeling, a <whimper> feeling, a <whine> feeling, a <growl> feeling… you make the noise, and EFT will help.

So… if you can use some weird noise and have EFT work, can you imagine that whatever words come up for you will also work?

The words (or the noises) are just a way for you to acknowledge what is present. If you feel “nothing” then tap, “Even though I feel nothing, I deeply and completely accept myself!” EFT is very flexible. Why? Because it connects with the artistic beauty of the human soul. It should be treated as more like painting a picture than painting a house.

“But Rick! I can’t paint a picture!”

Boy, can I relate to that! I got a “D” in 7th grade art!

Yet, there is no judge here. No one is grading you. If you are grading you, then stop! You can’t get it wrong! Your art will become more to your liking over time and with practice. So sit back and enjoy the process, both the learning and the feelings.

And if you can’t, if you can’t just let go and enjoy, then tap for the hell of it. Tap with whatever angry, judgmental thoughts come into your head. Tap about your discouragement that nothing has worked. Tap with your feelings that you will never get it right. Tap with your belief that, “This won’t work, because nothing ever works for me… even though it works for everybody else!”

Tap those points. Tap with whatever words show up. Tap with whatever noises show up. Or, Tap in silent fuming. Tap in silent distress.

You cannot get it wrong. Because in whatever state you are in, you are deeply and completely accepted. You may not feel it now. You may not be able to recall a time when you felt deeply and completely accepted by anyone… even yourself. You may feel your sins and shame and guilt and failures make you unredeemable.

But you cannot say the wrong things when you tap. You cannot say the wrong things in prayer. And if a part of you finds it hard to say, “I deeply and completely accept myself” then let me say it for you. Tap with me:

(Karate chop) “Even though I feel worthless sometimes, I am deeply and completely accepted.”
“Even though anyone who accepts me just doesn’t know me, I am deeply and completely accepted.”
“Even though I feel so WRONG, I choose to know… somewhere inside me… some place still clean and untouched by pain… that I am deeply and completely accepted.”

(Top of head) I have felt so wrong.
(Eyebrow) I have failed at times..
(Side of eye) I have been guilty.
(Under eye) I have done wrong..
(Under nose) I have been wronged.
(Chin) I have felt wrong.
(Collarbone) I have known shame.
(Under arm) And I am sorry..

(Top of head) It is time for me to heal.
(Eyebrow) I accept my feelings.
(Side of eye) I choose to heal.
(Under eye) I’m okay.
(Under nose) I’m feeling better.
(Chin) I am taking positive steps.
(Collarbone) I am relaxing.
(Under arm) I am finding myself.
(Top of head) And I deeply and completely accept myself. No matter what. So help me, God.

And take a big, deep breath….

Want to learn more? Get your free guide to getting started with tapping (EFT).

  • Avatar
    Grace3753 says:

    Thanks for this.  I’ve tapped before and it’s always worked for me. Then I’ve given up for exactly the reasons you mention above … I reach a point where I can’t find words for my feelings so I stop tapping.  When that happens, the unexpressed feelings build up in my body to the point that I feel my lungs have expanded to full capacity and are going to burst because I have asthma and can’t breath out.  At that point somehow I remember to tap and I have instant results.  Usually my body forces out huge uncontrollable sobs until there’s room inside my lungs for me to breath in again.  The relief that I can breath again and feel empty is immense.  That cycle repeats itself over and over with me and I don’t realise the tension is building up until it’s almost unbearable … that’s when I remember to tap.  What I want to do now is to remember to tap BEFORE it reaches that point.  And now that I don’t have to worry about words, that’s even better, because emotions are feelings and words can NEVER do them justice, they’re not meant to be translated into words because words serve only to CONTROL our emotions, we talk ourselves out of having them.  Which is what I’ve done all my life because I was ridiculed by my uptight and repressed Mother for daring to express my emotions.  I like my emotions and the only reason ANYONE’S emotions become out of control is because they HAVE BEEN CONTROLLED for longer than is healthy for anyone.  Many therapists advocate writing as a means of expressing emotions but I believe that’s dangerous because it REPLACES the natural expression of emotions which is to cry, sob, scream, yell, shout, stamp our feet.  We’re taught that’s ‘childish’ when actually it’s healthy so long as we don’t harm ourselves or anyone else while we’re expressing them.  We should be taught SAFE expression of emotion rather than being taught to QUELL them.  Many thanks for your tips.  I intend to continue using them and I intend to be well again.

    Reply

    • “We
      should be taught SAFE expression of emotion rather than being taught to QUELL
      them.” Absolutely, Grace3753! Thanks for sharing your story. 

      Reply

  • Thanks Grace3753, well said!  You see, you don’t really have trouble expressing yourself in words, you only think you do! I haven’t been tapping often either thinking I don’t have the words … we think too much and stop ourselves from acting. Let’s “get with the program”. Cheers to all.  Margaret

    Reply

  • im detoxing at the mo i am at day 3. im in new zealand we dont have alot availabel to us here so ive locked myself away from everyone and trying to ride it out. im overwelmed with pain and emotional shit its a hell of a ride but i so need to get well i want to experiece happiness and feel loved. Im so hopping this eft is going to help me

    Reply

  • Avatar
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve started tapping and it does work. Just need to find the right combination of affirmations, daily schedule and tapping points to suit my needs in cleaning up ‘the past’ and being a-new.

    Each time I clear out a ‘bag’, a new one pops up…just tap it out!It starts with a VERY POSITIVE mindset.Muchas gracias!

    Reply

  • Avatar
    Chilcosue says:

    This was exactly what I needed to read as this is what I actually did today in a situation. moving forward

    Reply

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