March 9, 2015 by Rick ~ Thrivingnow

Who IS that person?!?!

baffled-who-is-that-personWho IS that person?!?!

I’ve said things I cannot BELIEVE came out of my mouth.

You, too?

I’ve committed to myself that I would do something important to my well-being and found myself procrastinating or distracting myself with Facebook and web surfing.

You, too?

I’ve at times wanted to curl up in a ball, or argue until I’m blue.

You, too?

And at times I’ve just sat staring… frozen and not sure what’s next.

If you can relate, I’d like to chew on an idea with you.

The idea is this: We are of Two Distinct Minds.

Have you noticed that sometimes that which is “good” for us (our health, our love life, our money situation) is resisted by another part of us?

There’s an internal tug o’ war going on. Or, a yelling match. Or it feels like being picked on by a bully — a bully that lives in our head!

At least that is the way it has felt to me. Do you another way to describe it? (Please share that in the comments below. It’s important.)

I want a global dialogue about this. We tend to look at our behavior – and everyone else’s – as if they have one mind that sometimes goes whacky in self-destructive ways. Yet, biologically and behaviorally, we have (at least) two.

There’s our happy, healthy, generous mind (#1)

…and we have a survival part of us that doesn’t care about anything but staying safe (#2).

And the survival part seems to often react in ways that keep us STUCK. Or DISTRACTED. Or HIDDEN. Or worse.

Yet, every single human has this survival aspect, this part. It cannot be excised surgically. When it digs in its heels, it is like someone has put the parking brake on and not told us how to release it! Arrrgh!

When we look at other people’s behaviors, don’t we see this part at work, too?

In the drinking and drugs to protect from feeling pain and facing problems?

In arguments and manipulation for power and control over others?

In running and hiding from living life fully because… someone might laugh and call them names?

I see this everywhere.

I’ve devoted my life to raising awareness of this aspect of each person AND co-creating emotional technologies to help us, as a human race, develop the AWARENESS and the SKILLS necessary to evolve this aspect of each of us.

Are you interested in being a part of this mission?

First, for yourself. (So you feel you have increasing control over your energy and emotional expression.)

Next, for those you love. (So you become the “surprisingly calm and confident one” and can contribute to peace and be a generous and healthy co-creator.)

And for the World… because Who We Are when we’re at our heart-centered, level-headed best is ultimately the most lovely Invitation to a more Thriving Life for everyone.


Now, it is your turn. How does this feel to you? What questions come up? How would you like to be a part of this co-creation?

And if that survival part of you is screeching (particularly if it is screeching!), what objections and fears are coming up?

Cathy and I invite you to share with us in the comments below. We will read each and every one.

If that’s too scary, we invite you to email us at

If even that’s too scary, we invite you to breathe and tap a bit, ground yourself, and know that we have more ideas to help you that we’ll share in the coming days.

Rick-Life-Is-Good-490-597With love and curiosity,


P.S. If it feels like a YES to you, clicking Facebook SHARE or Like and inviting others into this dialogue would be AWESOME!

  • My #2 feels like a kid who needs to be rewarded because of all the responsibilities the adult has to navigate. Rewarded for not “acting out”, “speaking up when she doesn’t want to do something”, and just in general having to “deal”. Needing to have the same kinds of rewards you weren’t supposed to have as a child like too much sugar, junk food, cigarettes. Being able to “get by with something” for being suppressed.

  • As I sat down at my computer to procrastinate a little more while I decide whether to go for a walk in the sun, figure out how to get more work, eat more, or just procrastinate some more (facebook, games, blogs, etc.), your email appeared in my inbox. It’s like you were reading my mind. I really need to be finding more work (doing websites, organizing homes, help people with their moves), but I really hate promoting myself as it makes me feel really vulnerable. I’m an introvert with lousy self-esteem, so even though I’m good at what I do, soliciting new clients is really hard for me. I’ve relied on word-of-mouth a lot, but it’s just not cutting it anymore, and my freeze tendencies are very strong. I did make one call this morning, but it didn’t pan out. Persistence is not one of my strong points, either, not when it’s something I hate doing. Don’t even say the word “networking”! Avoidance I’m really good at. Some (most) days I really hate my amygdala, and my monkey mind. Okay, deep breath here. Ok, enough spouting off, but you did ask. Going for that walk in the sun now, get some vitamin D and serotonin moving in my body, and oh, put off making that next call.

    It’s been a long winter here on Cape Cod, and I need some serious Spring!

    • It’s great that you know that sun and movement can help tune our vibration. The challenge comes when the monkey mind will kick in the next time you sit to do something that feel too exposed.

      Have you used tapping on the conflict between “lousy self-esteem” and “being good at what I do” ?

      • Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.

        No, I haven’t tapped on that specifically, and I need to do that. The habitual negativity and running myself down has got to go! I’ve got to spend some time putting into practice the things I’ve learned about tapping. Time for research to be over and practice to begin!

        • Sure! I want this to be a dialogue.

          Have you considered working with a coach (me or Cathy or another person you resonate with) to help with this? Our negative self-talk often is internalized from the outside-in. Coaching and tapping together can help internalize Acceptance and Self-Engagement from inside-out AND outside-in as well.

  • Chrissy Reynolds says:

    Oh to have a plan, that’s my intention as I forget what I’m going to do and as a result have many things on my agenda so my quandary is to prioritise, but all the tasks are important so I must put them in order, maybe more EFT??

    • Well, many people teach to put them in order. Yet, if everything is important, “order” isn’t really the solution.

      Have you tried tapping on the feelings you get when you are in that quandary… and then asking your WHOLE body-mind to pick the bright one and TUNE your energy to do it?

  • Rachael Berezin Knight says:

    Hi Rick,
    Thanks for this! I try to help my clients with this all the time but I am really struggling with the two minds thing. I used to be much better able to do things that were good for me (usually when I am very busy interestingly), but because of some recent transitions and having surgery that had complications and will require 2 more procedures, I have been very stuck!! I get really stuck in freeze mode that often manifests as indecision and beating up on myself for choosing the thing that feels safe (which now is sometimes the thing I need to do to heal like resting) I just feel like I am using my time very badly and I tap a lot but still feel mostly stuck. Thanks!

    • When we’re healing, the survival part of us naturally becomes “over cautious.” Unless we’re “forced” it doesn’t want to expend energy “unnecessarily.”

      Part of my model is to get our survival brain to all remember that Connection and Service and Expression are nourishing, too. Maybe not at the same intensity as when fully healed… yet the absence of these is depleting.

      If you pick three <20 minute tasks and you put next to them the emotional nourishment you'd get from moving in those directions, does you energy about them shift?

  • Mary Anne says:

    My two (at least) minds are always tugging! I think the biggest help would be if they could both accept and trust the other rather than constantly be at war. It’s draining and keeps me stuck.

    • Absolutely, Mary Anne! I have seen thousands of times where that part of us that struggles and tugs ACTUALLY has tremendous energy… and focused and reprogrammed that energy can activate us in ways that really enhance a thriving lifestyle.

  • Hi, I am a professional acupuncturist and EFT practitioner (among others); I usually do a Personality Analysis to find out if my client happens to be in a phase of feeling unfocused. Consequently, I can offer him/her the suitable tapping or other alternatives, how to deal with this (very common) situation. Secondly, there is overwhelm (I know this myself:)) When there is so much to do or to think of, our brain just shuts off and we go into ‘avoiding’ – then, we feel guilty because we still have not done anything. I think, we also can give us permission to avoid – at least for some time; otherwise, there is constant resistance and beating ourselves up. Thirdly, I love carol Look’s question ‘what is the downside of doing it, of finding the priority, of starting that project? Our primitive brain wants to protect us from disappointment, mistakes (perfectionism), disapproval etc.Then we can tap on it…

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