Rick’s Primitive Brain
I had $800,000 cash in my business account… and my primitive brain was FREAKING OUT that I didn’t have enough.
Seems… crazy… doesn’t it? I mean, I had worked and enjoyed making money all my life. As a child I had shoveled snow on school days off to make quarters. I always did my absolute BEST to make people happy… and THAT was a primitive brain trap.
See, we had 50,000 subscribers to our print newsletter called The WordPerfectionist. Twenty employees on the payroll. Fifty-five team members around the world helping out on our CompuServe forum, answering questions for over 250,000 visitors a year (this is pre-Internet, by the way). Success, by every financial and lifestyle measure. Except for… the measure that mattered to my primitive brain above all else:
Keep Everyone Happy. Especially… Keep HER (Every HER) Happy.
And when you have 50,000 subscribers, you also have UNsubscribers. You have refund requests. You have people who criticize your writing and find mistakes. With 20 employees you have ones who are sometimes unhappy, even if just one day a month!
If this isn’t YOUR issue, you probably are saying, “Duh. Of course!” Indeed, my logical mind, the part of me that can and does look at things rationally knew all that back then just like I know it now. I wasn’t some naive boy who through everyone needed to love me and love my work.
However, a part of me… DID INSIST… that I needed to keep everyone happy so they would never leave. And that part of me, that primitive ancient tribal part of me… was freaking out and freezing in disbelief and horror that I was FAILING.
And that, my friends, is why this work is so core to my mission personally. My freaking-out-primitive-brain was trying to solve the insolvable, trying to tune myself to everyone’s contradictory likes and dislikes when that is… not my gift. Not my heart’s mission. Not who I was, who I am, or who I want to be.
I’d never ever wish on anyone the IMPOSSIBLE BURDEN to try and keep me happy no matter what.
Chronic primitive brain freezing stopped normal digestion for me. My guts started to fail and bleed. My headaches were like over-clocked computers over-heating and over-stressing from being stuck in an infinite loop of inner conflict. I’d heard about stress, of course, yet had no model or techniques to apply effectively to shift my energy, to change the program’s impossible instructions, to let my system cool off, rest, digest, and refresh.
My path back to health involved my body failing, forcing a change!… and me attracting a path to healing by my choice to LIVE. I deeply and truly am honored by the courageous individuals behind the over 500 emails I’ve personally answered in the past week who have been living that choice, too. I’m grateful you attracted Cathy and me as part of your Circle of Support. Please know that we will continue to share our energy and enthusiasm with everyone connected to us and hold Good Thoughts indeed, especially for those who are currently in a place of suffering.
It is equally important for us to recognize, in ourselves and in our fellow human beings, that we can be triggered into deep distress by what appears as SUCCESS, too. I have worked with 1%-ers who cannot sleep because of their primitive agony, who suffer guilt and shame not from any crime or greed but rather from an impossible need to be Perfect or ELSE!
We share this ancestral mind — we are all tuned to it… no matter the country, the ethnicity, the social status or lack thereof. Our Art and our Dance are our unique expressions. Our fears are our common ground.
I’m so deeply moved that a small group of individuals from 14 countries across all the time zones will be coming together soon. I know that they are vibrational teachers, learning for themselves and for their relief, and for their Energy to help support others on their path to emotional freedom, too. Even if you are not active in this group, we invite you to hold us in your Good Thoughts, your prayers, and best intentions. Bless you and thank you.
Even more… We invite you to feel our intentions for YOU, too. That YOU have abundance, healthy love, and yummy vitality. That you be free to express your art and dance in whatever way is authentic and delicious for you. Our love for you and your well-being is unconditional and flows from Source Infinite. May it reach your heart when times are dark and add to your tingles when Spirit feels Light.
With love, and hope,
Rick & Cathy