October 16, 2008 by Thriving Now Support

Reconnect with Safe and Happy Feelings

This is the outline for the call Reconnect with Safe and Happy Feelings which is a part of our Body Vitality Workshop as we focus on Body Safety with co-hosts Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli. Team members can listen to the recording here.

Deepak Chopra, in Ageless Body, Timeless Mind says…

Intelligence is present everywhere in our bodies… Our inner intelligence is far superior to any we can try to substitute from the outside.


What are the deeper benefits of reconnecting with our body, besides “just” safe and happy feelings?

We take the view that the body is intelligent and has our best interests (and its survival) at heart.
– Each body has a unique story to tell.
– If we give ourselves the time to slow down, turn inward and listen to our body’s messages, we can tap into a broader intelligence (including non-physical guidance). [See Body YES and Body NO]
– The ability to be present in our bodies offers the possibility for changing our lives.
– Our bodies exist in the present moment where deep change and insight can occur.
– This approach is informed by trusting the wisdom of your unique experience and story as it unfolds in your awareness.
– Honoring your experience can be one of the most profound acts you can take. Your experience matters because it is the entry point into knowing who you are and the access point to creating the life you want.
– Learning how to have a positive and pleasurable relationship with our bodies can have profound effects on our health and well-being.
– Grounding, centering, deep wisdom, and expanded creative potential are the many gifts of embodiment (i.e., “being fully present in your body”).
– Increasing body awareness helps us to access our intuition and make informed choices.
– Being present with our body experience allow us to uncover and resolve limiting patterns… thereby inviting new pathways for thinking, feeling, and moving.

Softening Blocks to Reconnecting

– The body is always in the NOW. If we’re distracted by future worries or past regrets, it’s hard to connect.
– Reducing your anxiety and stress helps to soften resistance. Use EFT, meditation, and massage to help relax. [See also Grounding Exercises]
– Sometimes we’re braced against relaxing into the body. We expect pain or are too wound-up to relax.
– Touching the natural comfort points used in EFT and taking a breath can help (also called Touch and Breathe). Gently touch each tapping point with your fingertips and breathe in and out. If you like, say aloud, “I am safe now” at each point.
– As we reconnect, it can be useful to listen to our body’s guidance as best we can.
– If we approach this gently (not forcing it with willpower), and we do our best to determine if we’re disconnected out of habit or because there is a block or fear there, the process is easier on your physiology and emotions.
– If there is a block, we can tap it away.
– And tapping prepares us energetically if something comes up as we reconnect with disconnected parts of our body.
– If it is habit that is blocking the connection, we can gently remind ourselves (tap tap tap) that we are now safe. And practice.
– Beating ourselves up over not connecting is not very helpful… but we ALL DO IT! (whack whack whack)

Reasons We Distrust Our Body

– It’s much easier to reconnect if we have a good relationship with our body… yet how many of us really LIKE and easily communicate with our body?
– People who do not feel safe also typically DISTRUST, DISLIKE, and DISRESPECT their body. These are massive blocks!

So what are the reasons we distrust our body?

– It sent us signals we didn’t understand or couldn’t pay attention to (or even forced to ignore) in the past.
– It “created” conflict and confusion.
– It was a source of pain (either directly or inflicted by others).
– Many of us experienced either abuse or trauma when we were too young to know how to deal with it. (Healthy trauma release was not modeled by parents and teachers.)
– When we freeze (rather than fighting or fleeing), the powerful fear chemicals that flood the body do not get “burned off” and make the body an exceedingly uncomfortable place to “be.”
– When body guidance is ignored (as it often must be under the restrictions imposed by parents and teachers), the body “NO” gets stronger and more uncomfortable.
– When we didn’t have a clear understanding of what was going on in our body, we blamed the body for its failings and negative feelings.

This cycle of distrust builds RESENTMENT towards the body, and by Law of Attraction, we start noticing all the ways it is deficient. (Of course, if it was totally deficient we’d be DEAD and in no position to notice more minor “failings.”)
– My body doesn’t do what I want it to do… all the time.
– My body doesn’t look how I want it to look.
– It hurts me.
– It is vulnerable to damage, disease… even… DEATH!
Tapping: the above energies.

Start shifting and softening those energies by…
– Write down 5 things you especially dislike about your body. Do a couple of rounds a day on each of them. (We probably spend that much time each day beating ourselves up anyway.
– Write down 5 things you especially like about your body. Do some positive tapping while you look in the mirror and notice each of them.

Ok, so I want to reconnect, how do I do that?
Exercises for Reconnecting

– These exercises create pathways and habits of moving to connected states.
– As we build resilience, our primitive brain is calmed. We are acting more than reacting. We become Spiritually Guided and Fit!
– Discuss: Connection between spirituality and body guidance.

Soft Circle
– Draw a soft circle on the back of your left hand with the finger tip of your right.
– Notice the sensation.
– Take a deep breath.
– Bring your conscious awareness to your left hand.
– Gently move it, feel the fingers, the palm, the bones, the strength, the softness.
– Draw another circle.
– Notice the sensation again.
– Is there any difference?
– Continue touching, perhaps using your entire right hand, as you intentionally withdraw and then return your awareness to your hand.
– Notice the shifts in feelings.
– Is there anything your hand would like to tell you?
– Can you thank that hand for all it does for you?
– Notice 3 things that are valuable about the hand (soft, strong, flexible, capable, tender, caring…)
– Tapping Gratitude for the hand and the body

Sitting Awareness
– Sit somewhere comfortable, and relax. If possible, where your back and shoulders are also supported so you can relax more deeply and completely.
– Take a deep breath in and out.
– Notice your weight in the chair.
– Notice the texture of the support against your body. (Hard/soft? Rough/smooth?)
– Become aware that it is holding you up, and you don’t need to exert effort.
– As you relax, tune in and notice if you are able to receive more pleasing sensations in your body. (We often tune out a lot of input from stress or inattention.)
– Imagine something somewhat stressful (to bring in a wee bit of contrast), and monitor how the sensations change. (Some of us may become more numb. Some may feel less present in their body. Some may notice contraction or aching in their muscles.)
– Imagine something truly wonderful, like snuggling a kitten if you like cats, and notice how your muscles relax and how the support of the chair feels.
– Most people will be more aware of the chair, their weight, their bodies when they are relaxed. The muscles may feel more warm and fluid and supple.
– Noticing contrast helps you tune into your body…
– Get more enjoyment from life.
– Hear early whispers that a shift is needed rather than body SHRIEKS!
– More present and aware in the NOW.

– Tapping on resistance to doing these exercises. “Even though this is too hard, stupid, waste of time, I’ll never get this, going to take forever…”

Mindfulness – Present in the NOW

– Wonderful way to help us move to connection and be open to higher experiences.
– Be present with whatever you’re doing.
– Spend 5 minutes doing a task slowly and with profound awareness.
– Pay attention to the small things that you do. Feel them as deeply as you can.
– Notice the feeling in your body as you move, touch, breath.
– Eating: Notice flavors, textures, smells. Delight in them! Turn up the volume.
– People: Notice the connection you have with particular people. Be present with them. Enjoy little things about your relationship (smiles, laugh, simple touches, hugs).
– Walking and driving: Turn off the autopilot and feel what you are doing, the surroundings, the flows and shifting pressures.
– World around you: What ignites your sense of wonder? What activates your curiosity?
– Sensuality: Bring gentle, sweet sensations to the body. We give disproportionate attention to pain… much less to “good” sensations. Sun on skin, soft cloth against skin, water when we shower, gentle touch. Smooth on some oil or lotion.
– We often disconnect our minds from the activity “at hand.” We let the body follow through in a expected pattern (autopilot). See if you can bring your mind back to what your doing. Instead of doing things in a habitual manner, pay attention. Try mindfulness in certain contexts and see how the experience changes.
– You don’t HAVE to be mindful in all contexts… like crunched in a plane.

Breathing
– Notice the breath flowing into and out of your lungs as you breathe.
– Breathing and its sensations are usually subconscious–except when there is a PROBLEM. This is practicing breathing when your are relaxing and moving towards peace.
– Bring your awareness to your ribs, as they expand.
– Feel the air moving in your nose or mouth.
– Notice how it is slightly cooler on the inhale than the exhale.
– Feel your diaphragm move (muscles that pull down below the lungs as you inhale).
– Let your abdomen expand.
– Involve as much of your body as possible. This is your body, breathing.
– Notice the Still Point… the pause at the top of the inhale and bottom of the exhale. God is there.
– Be with body. Be where you are. HERE NOW.
– Breathing to different spots in the body that could use grounding, comforting, expansion… such as the heart or low back or in/out the feet.
– Tapping “Even though I feel uneasy being with my own breath, I’m okay, right HERE, right NOW.”

Walking
– Most 2-year-olds know how to walk. We take it for granted for the most part. Lets go back to a more innocent mind.
– Stand up.
– Notice how your weight is balanced on your feet. Feel the ground beneath you.
– As you take a first slow step, notice the muscles in your hips, legs, stomach, as your weight shifts.
– Feel the muscles in your shoulders and arms as they naturally move to balance you.
– Feel the energy of the earth as your foot reconnects with it. Allow that energy to flow up and through your whole body.
– Take several slow motion steps, staying with the movement and your body as best you can.
– If you feel your attention wandering, just gently bring it back. Your mind is not used to focusing like this. It’s ok.
– If you can, let your body lead. Let it move as it wants, without direction from the mind. Stay in the now and just notice with the mind.
– Continue to breathe consciously as you do this. It can help bring the whole body into our awareness.

Stretch
– Gently stretch one part of your body, your wrist for example (assuming that is safe for you).
– As you slowly moving, keep your attention on the stretch.
– Notice how the muscles and bones move with each other… how the skin moves over them.
– Stretch in a different direction. Notice how it feels.
– Repeat with another part of your body. Move slowly and attentively while you breathe.
– Let your attention wash over that area as you appreciate how flexible (no need to compare yourself with flex armstrong!) it is, and how with a little conscious attention, your flexibility improves slightly.

Allowing Good Feelings

– Some of us have had little experience noticing and really enjoying the “good” feelings in our bodies.
– Even if we haven’t had trauma, impatient parents or teachers may have taught us to hurry to get things done, so we learned to ignore the wonderful messages from our bodies.
– When we’re very young we discover parts of our body that feel REALLY good… and may have had our hand slapped or told it was “WRONG!” …even a sin.  (We encourage everyone to clear those specific events with EFT.)
– If we don’t have a lot of experience with feeling good, it can feel strange, uncomfortable, or even threatening.
– The good feelings from adequate rest, food, and movement is very strange to some of us.
– We can tap on the fears and discomforts.
– For example, I was so used to feeling stressed and tired from lack of restful sleep, my body literally didn’t know what to do with a good night’s sleep. I got tense when I experienced enough sleep, which put me back into sleep deprivation and stress.
– Once our bodies and minds know it’s ok to feel good and rested, it can be much easier to care for ourselves and encourage other deliciously good feelings.
– Tapping “Is it ok to feel this good?”

Paying Attention to Communication from the Body

– Go back and listen to and practice your Body YES and Body NO.
– Periodically, throughout the day, allow a few moments for quiet communication with the body. Invest in that relationship.
– Take a deep breath, notice your body. Feel it in the chair, or bed, or standing. And ask it “what are you feeling?” If you’re in an important meeting, and it wants to dance, you can acknowledge it. Say “I hear you… and we will dance in a couple hours.”
– This gets the body used to being heard, and you used to listening.
– If you can just be silent and let the body speak, who knows what wonders you will hear!

Build Trust with the Body

– Best way to build trust with the body is by listening to its whispers throughout the day.
– By listening to whispers rather than waiting for shrieks before we pay attention, we build trust with the part of us whose job it is to keep us thriving in physical form.

Steps are:
1) Release the guilt, blame, shame, regrets, and angry feelings with EFT as they come up.
2) Really ask and listen to your body. “What do you need right now?” Take baby steps at first.
3) Sometimes illness or dealing with old traumas can be a catalyst for dramatic deepening of our inner awareness and honoring our body’s messages.
4) Be open to the possibility that aches and low energy can be a sign of clearing. Our body knows that colds, fevers, diarrhea, even vomiting are “socially acceptable” ways of taking it easy and getting a chance to CLEAR energies that are no longer useful. It’s not necessarily a step back. (Please be smart and use traditional medicine as appropriate.)
5) Tap on the body sensations that are most annoying, and just reach for a small bit of relief. Ask your body what it is trying to tell you.
6) Don’t try to force the physical sensations and discomforts down to zero. In most cases: ain’t gonna happen immediately!
7) What you want is to exercise your energy system to be as supportive as possible of the natural re-connecting and healing process.
8) Listen to body sensations. Practice often, in situations where it’s easy and comfortable.
9) Ask your body to communicate with you in the clearest, sanest, easiest way possible.
10) Send thanks, love, and respect to your body, especially the parts that are still uncomfortable or painful. They are storing information for you.
11) Notice and appreciate any good feelings you get from the body.

Going with the FLOW

– By getting in touch with body sensations and signals, you are learning how in any moment to sense whether you are headed WITH the flow of well-being or AGAINST it.
– You will FEEL the difference!
– Once you realize you are going upstream against the flow of your life, use the grounding techniques, these mindfulness techniques, and others such as meditation and tapping to
– As you start going with the flow, you will naturally move up the emotional/vibrational scale.

If you’re in pain, it can be difficult to feel open to the body’s communication.
– When you start listening/feeling more deeply, you may initially experience increased painful feelings.
– Accepting the pain is imperative to healing it…
– “Suffering”is optional… with EFT at your fingertips.
– One of the core messages of EFT is deeply and completely accepting all of us, as an integrated energy system.
– When we do, there are often surprising shifts in the body’s healing system.
– Accept the pain, even make friends with it (as goofy as that seems on the surface), and its message can be delivered first without suffering and eventually, I believe, without the experience of “pain” at all! Just information.

Accepting Where We Are Right NOW (Yeah, Right!)

– As we connect, we may become more aware that we are not where we want to be.
– Frustration, anger, fear about the “gaps” will often push us out of connection.
– How can we find peace with the gap?
– “Even though I’m not where I want/need to be, I’m still a good person and choose to connect with my body ANYWAY.”

These calls are part of the Body Vitality Workshop that we’re holding as part of the Thriving Now Team. (All calls are recorded so you can listen and tap along later if you cannot attend.)

The detailed outline for our first call on Body YES and Body NO: Learning to Listen to the Body’s Intuitive, Intelligent Guidance can be found here:

https://www.thrivingnow.com/body-yes-and-body-no/

The second call covered The Vibrational Scale: A Guide to Understand and Improving Your Vibrational Trend. A detailed 6-level Vibrational Scale (an evolution of the one proposed by Abraham-Hicks) can be found along with the call outline on the Thriving Now website at:

https://www.thrivingnow.com/moving-up-the-vibrational-scale/

Our intention with the Body Vitality Workshop is to help you…

– develop an amazing relationship with your body…
– help it feel surprisingly safe, calm, and confident…
– listen to and follow its intuitive guidance…
– consciously direct its vibrational trend towards total well-being…
– and delight in the pleasures of food, movement, and touch in healthy and balanced ways.

It doesn’t matter if you’re over-, under- or at your perfect weight, hate the pains in your back, think you don’t have enough muscles, feel clumsy, or your nose is funny….

We’ll focus on developing practical body guidance, feeling safe in your body, appreciating and accepting where you are (as hard as that can be sometimes), and removing blocks to moving forward towards a more powerful, healthy, vital body. We’ll have specific calls on eating for the body’s needs… and for its pleasure! We’ll also use EFT to bring relief to pain and suffering… and bring more fluid movement to your body from your head to your toes.

In the members-only forum we’ll have ongoing discussions on each of these topics… as well as mutual support and encouragement to guide this process.

If you would like to participate in this workshop and bring increased vitality and power to your body, become a team member.

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