November 21, 2014 by Rick

NO ONE Wants to Hear MY Story… Do They?

Do you ever feel like no one wants to hear your story? 

Isn’t it weird that some people find it more comfortable to get naked with one another than to explore what lies deeper… in the stories that molded us, in the experiences that have broken us open, and in the questions we’re asking that keep us up at night.

To share an intimate story changes us. And it can free us, too.

Yet… often our tongue stays tied and our words unwritten. Why is that?

For me it was fear, confusion, and shame.

From 13-16 I had a confusing, deceptive, and secret relationship with the man who was supposed to be a trusted teacher and employer. The things he said and did to me confused me terribly and warped my self-image and perceptions. I feared telling my story — what was actually happening — for fear something even more horrible would happen. And I was ashamed of myself for doing things that were a NO for me and for not “standing up for myself.”

A lifetime later, at 29, I did find someone who could hear the fullness of my story and offer… Acceptance.

Acceptance? Yes, Acceptance. It’s what I most needed to ground me and finally be free from The Secrets and all the corrosive energy such secrets were bringing to my body-mind.

I learned that going from suppressed to expressed can free up so much well-being. I experienced the healing power of my story, even if I was sharing it at that time just for me and my inner 13-year-old… in the presence of someone safe and trustworthy who could hear it without flinching… and wanted to.

And looking back, I have learned to honor that a part of me that was waiting for the “right conditions” (and right person) to appear.

Today I feel resilient in sharing this story more widely. My “privacy settings” have expanded to be more public with who I am and what experiences have molded me.

My devotion to modeling and teaching physical, emotional, and sexual SAFETY is part of positive outcome from this story.

My celebration of Acceptance is, too. These are magical words that we use in Tapping:  “…I deeply and completely ACCEPT myself.” Spreading the word about safety, acceptance, and… sharing your story with the right people… these are core to my life’s mission.

So if you’re at a place where sharing your story is ripening, where you are recognizing some of the “right conditions” and people showing up, I invite you to tap with me:

Karate chop: Even though I’ve not shared my story (yet) in a way that might be fully healing for me, I deeply and completely ACCEPT myself.

Even though a part of me is convinced that no one wants to hear my story, and I have my evidence, I deeply and completely ACCEPT myself anyway.

Even though I’ve not yet learned how to tell my story in ways that leave me feeling entirely safe, heard, understood, and accepted… I have decided to deeply and completely ACCEPT myself… right here, right now.

Top of the head: I want to tell my story.
Eyebrow: And that scares me.
Side of eye: They didn’t want to hear it… or I thought they didn’t… or couldn’t.
Under the eye: I felt rejected and alone.
Under the nose: It didn’t feel safe to tell my story then.
Chin: And that’s okay.
Collarbone: I don’t have to tell EVERYONE my story.
Under the arm: It would be nice to tell someone, though.
Top of the head: It might even be deeply healing for me.

Top of the head: I’m not yet convinced THEY want to hear my story.
Eyebrow: And that scares and confuses me.
Side of eye: Why won’t they hear me?
Under the eye: Why won’t they see me? It’s so confusing.
Under the nose: But… what if that’s not all my fault?
Chin: What if some people can hear… want to hear…
Collarbone: And some cannot?
Under the arm: And I thought it was all me!
Top of the head: I’m starting to open to the possibility of sharing my story.

Top of the head: I do want to tell my story.
Eyebrow: I do want shared stories to bring me closer to awesome people.
Side of eye: I intend to explore this further.
Under the eye: I’m tired of feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Under the nose: I bet other people are, too.
Chin: Sure, there’s pain in my story…
Collarbone: And struggles I’ve lived through.
Under the arm: I’ve learned so much!
Top of the head: I’m open to ACCEPTING myself and all my stories and lessons learned.

Take a deep breath… and allow the feeling of ACCEPTANCE to flow within you.

In our recent training, Bart Queen shared the moment when he stopped denying that he was gay and made that part of his shared story. It freed him to be himself with others. And while I am sure that Bart, like all of us, doesn’t find everyone-everywhere to be accepting… what amazing relationships are possible when we make space for each other… to be storytellers… and safe, accepting, story-listeners.

Thank you for LISTENING… And if you’d like to share your story with me, my contact email and private session information can be found here.

https://www.thrivingnow.com/rick/

Warm hugs,

Rick

 

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