January 18, 2020 by Rick ~ Thrivingnow

My Father Drank To Cope…

His way of coping cut me and my brothers and sister off from the best parts of him.

My father had to bury his feelings. He was taught to do so and punished if he didn’t. He coped with life’s many challenges using alcohol and food and inappropriate sex and purchases and power over people. He was never able to have an emotionally vulnerable conversation with any of us eight kids.

This dynamic he never escaped caused years of extensive physical pain, suffering, surgeries, and chronic disease. Such is the physical cost of emotional suppression.

In the end my diabetic father died of ice cream… two generous scoops of coffee ice cream in a hot fudge sundae with whipped cream and a cherry. I love you, Dad. I mean, there are worse ways to exit.

Rick+Dad-3moIt is Father’s Day on Sunday. Each year on that day I renew my commitment to myself, my children, and my world to live an emotionally open, vulnerable, and authentic life. It’s like my Dad followed the well-worn trail and found himself in such a sick, miserable swamp of muck that his life experience “waved me off” from ever following in his footsteps. For that I am grateful.

Harder has been figuring out how to live an emotionally rich, safe, respectful, and free life. Any of you struggled with that, too?

What I do know is that guilt and shame are toxic and lead to behaviors that HURT. People need a way to clear those energies from their system.

I know that being “stuck” in survival mode (what we call the Primitive Brain) leads to desperately seeking status and power over others… or running scared from other smart, capable people to avoid being trapped or betrayed or bullied.

Survival thinking keeps people from being authentic and real. They can’t share their hurts and vulnerabilities because… they “might be used against them.” That leaves people feeling bereft of safe loving support… abandoned and alone (even if surrounded by others).

How tragic. What a waste of Potential.

It’s why Cathy and I are so devoted to this mission. Just as the tractor freed so many people from grueling, backbreaking work in the fields… emotional technology can free everyone from heart-breaking and soul-shattering disconnection from Love and Co-Creation.

And yet… we’re still in the awkward phase, the point in history where it is really only the most courageous and forward-thinking individuals that are wanting and ABLE to break free from the well-worn path and engage with life in a new way… giving themselves PERMISSION to NOT following in their parents’ footsteps.

So many people feel the impulse… the call of Source to be free. Yet, their parking brake is on… set in place by their father… or mother… or teacher… or abusive partner. Unresolved traumas make the brake crackle with scary noises and distressing feelings. DON’T TOUCH! Disheartening beliefs about what is “not possible” keeps them… hidden, stuck, alone.

I’ll admit it… I never figured out a way to get through to my Dad. Neither did anyone else in the family.

And I’ll admit that I am still so inadequate at reaching all those who want to experience emotional freedom — even those who have known me for years through Thriving Now…even though the results we get changing how people relate to their primitive brain represent AMAZING breakthroughs!

What does it take to help someone who is stuck to take a small step together with us – to join with ALL of us on this journey together?

I’m not sure. So I’m asking someone who may know…

We would so appreciate hearing from you what might make a difference… what do you need to hear or sense or feel from us to let you know that it would be fun and uplifting to co-create change together?

Would you willing to comment and let us know?

With love,


P.S. Emotional freedom precludes coercion. We know there are other avenues and ways to take the parking brake off. We are not right for everyone and this is not the right time for everyone. What we do ask for is more of a dialogue with you, so we can feel more clearly how we can serve you. Please reply… your encouragement and engagement are MOST welcome and appreciated.

P.P.S. My Dad used to kiss me goodbye on the lips. It was boldly different and I’m not aware of any of my friends’ Dads who did that. Yet, in those brief moments, he let me see in his eyes that he loved me, and that he, too, was sad that we were parting once again, another every-other-weekend as father and son come to an end. I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.


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