Most of us would love to feel more lovable. We’d like to feel more valuable, and more deserving of all the good things that could happen to us.
It’s wonderful when other people give us affirmations and reassurance. A lot of us look for relationships to give us those good feelings. There isn’t anything wrong with that! That’s human. We all love it when someone sincerely compliments us or helps us feel great about ourselves.
The Problem? It’s harder to let those nice things in when you feel like your heart is an empty bucket with some holes at the bottom! No matter how much someone gives you, the love and praise keep draining out. You need more and more and more. You just never feels content and really solid.
The Solution! I’d like to invite you to start loving yourself.
I get that for a lot a people that may feel impossible. I’ve been there! I know how frustrating and teeth grinding it can feel when someone tells you to “just love yourself”! Don’t worry… we’re going to help you step into this more gradually and powerfully.
What I would like you to do is start ACTING as if.
What would you do if you loved yourself?
How would you treat yourself?
If you can start doing that even a little bit, you can start fixing the holes in the bucket of your heart!
We always talk about baby steps. If you can do this five minutes a day, a couple of times a day, you start making a difference! You start changing how you feel and how you interact with the world and that will show.
If you start to treat yourself as a worthy, deserving person, other people are going to start treating you that way, too. They’re going to see the confidence that you’re radiating. They’re actually more likely to give you the affirmations and positive energy flow that fills your bucket up! And since you’re repairing the holes in your bucket, you get to fill to the brim and feel warm and content in new ways! That’s really beautiful.
I’d like to do some tapping with you right now on that. Take a nice deep breath and put your feet on the floor. Just be present here and now. Feel your butt in the chair, or wherever you’re sitting, and be present with how your fingers feel as you tap. It’s a loving thing to do. Being present with yourself is loving. So you’re already acting as if! Good job!! <soft smile>
Karate Chop: Even though I don’t feel like I’m lovable and I never really have, I’d like to start loving myself more. Maybe I can start now by acting as if…
Top of the Head: I can act as if?
Eyebrow: Don’t I have to love myself first?
Side of the Eye: And then I can start acting like I love myself?
Under the Eye: But that’s not how it works.
Under the Nose: If you have a house plant…
Chin: And you told that you would start loving it as soon as it bloomed…
Collarbone: But you weren’t going to water it or give it sunshine until then….
Under the Arm: That house plant will just struggle and die.
Top of the Head: What if you acted as if you loved yourself?
Eyebrow: How would you treat yourself differently now?
Side of the Eye: Would you push yourself to exhaustion?
Under the Eye: Or would you take a little bit more of a break?
Under the Nose: Would you eat junk food because you’re in a hurry?
Chin: Or would you take time to get something a little more nutritious?
Collarbone: You might even sit in the sunshine while you ate it!
Under the Arm: How would you treat yourself if you loved yourself?
Top of the head: I invite myself to try it right now.
Take a nice deep breath.
Now, this may bring up a lot of things for people. Especially if you’re one of those people who thought that you were selfish and wrong, and you didn’t deserve love until you pushed yourself to exhaustion and won the Nobel Prize… twice!
I know. I grew up with that. It was a favorite joke in my family: if you came home having gotten a 100 on a test, they’d say “why you didn’t get 200?”
It was meant as a joke, but as a little kid, I thought, “Oh, I’m not good enough, I have to try harder before I deserve to be loved.”
Let’s just do a little tapping on that and then I’ll send you on your way.
Karate Chop: Even though I can’t possible deserve to be loved…I don’t even deserve to act as if I loved myself…. Maybe I could try, anyway.
Even though I feel like I have to earn it, maybe it would be easier to create and produce if my bucket was full, and I felt loved.
Top of the Head: I don’t deserve love.
Eyebrow: I haven’t earned it.
Side of the Eye: Maybe I don’t have to deserve love?
Under the Eye: Maybe I don’t have to deserve love!
Under the Nose: Maybe instead of waiting for someone else to give it to me…
Chin: This once, I can give it to me.
Collarbone: But this feels new…
Under the Arm: I bet this is going to be awkward.
Top of the Head: I haven’t done this in a long time.
Eyebrow: I don’t think I’ve done it ever!
Side of the Eye: Sometimes, new things are awkward.
Under the Eye: But I bet I could try!
Under the Nose: I might even start liking it…
Chin: And I’d be role modeling something really nice to my friends and family.
Collarbone: I think I’d like to try this now.
Under the Arm: It’s time to start acting as if
Top of the Head: And let the love come along.
Take a deep breath!
It can help to jot down what you’re thinking and noticing so you can tap in on it later. We’d also love it if you leave comments and questions below this article on the Thriving Now site. Let us know what comes up for you! We’d love to know what’s coming out for you so we can write articles on it in the future.
You might want to check out The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a great book on how we give and receive love. If you understand how you receive love it’s a lot easier to be loving towards yourself… to act as if! So how are you going to Act As If, today?