Do you ever wish that the eternal inner conflict would just *shut up*?!
Or have you gotten so used to it that you forget how much energy it takes up?
Honestly, when I started this work, I was so used to the inner conflict and the self-criticism that I didn’t even recognize it as a problem. I just knew somewhere deep inside that life just didn’t have to be that hard.
I wish the path had been clearer for me. I went down a lot of dead end roads. Spent a small fortune trying different therapies, more time than I care to think about driving to and from and in different classes and session, and I lost years of my life struggling in pain and frustration.
There were nights I woke in a cold sweat, frozen from nightmares that seemed to be happening in the moment. Days I dragged myself to work with little to no focus to spend, just enduring the exhaustion to get through the day.
There were parties and gatherings I would have loved to go to, that I was either too exhausted or frightened to attend.
Lots of lost opportunities.
A lot of that healing could have been condensed and done in a much shorter time, with a lot less pain… If I’d known what I know now.
(Rick and I have guided a lot of people along this path since I walked it. And each time we refined it a bit more.)
As I healed, the inner conflict became… quieter. The critical voices became neutral and then loving.
It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and my brain. I felt at peace.
I still remember my friends faces the time I suggested we hang out longer… I’d always been the one who bolted for the door first, worn out from a few hours of social time. I knew then something profound had changed. I had the energy and interest to play and engage!
Just going to neutral was great… But even better things happened as I changed from neutral to positive. Instead of holding me back, the part of me that had been in conflict started *helping* me. It felt natural and easy to step out and do things I’d always dreamed of, but never got to.
I know sometimes when people share these kinds of transformation it can sound “markety.” I wish there were an emotional “scratch and sniff” so I could show you the difference in how my life feels to me, so you’d know it was real, not hype. Then again, I wouldn’t wish how I used to feel on my worst enemy.
If you’d like to quiet your inner conflict, and tame your self-criticism, let’s do some tapping.
(And if you know you want to go deeper and clear this out, go from conflict… to neutral…to aligned and empowered, please join us in our Reprogram Your Primitive Brain program where we’ll walk you along the steps we’ve refined, so you can get there as fast and gently as possible!)
Are you ready to tap?
Take a nice deep breath…
(Ok, take another one and let it flow to the bottom of your lungs, really breathe, if that’s safe for you).
Feel your feet on the ground… wiggle your toes.
Look around the room and notice that you are safe, right this minute. There are no lions or tigers or angry bosses there (assuming there aren’t. If there are, please move yourself to a safe space, then begin again).
Side of Hand (Karate Chop): Even though I have this inner conflict, I choose to take a deep breath and remember that every side to this conflict loves me and wants what’s best for me… Even if it seems like they have strange ways of going about it.
Even though the self-criticism is overwhelming sometimes, most of it is younger selves who learned it from others… and they’re just trying to protect me from pain and judgment.
Even though the noise in my head is exhausting, I choose to acknowledge the effort and hidden love that is behind the chaos.
Top of the Head: There is a lot of noise.
Eyebrow: There are a lot different fears and beliefs floating around.
Side of the Eye: And there are different parts of me trying to keep me safe.
Under the Eye: Right now, those parts are lost in time and fear.
Under the Nose: Unable to connect with now…
Chin: They’re giving me information based on the time they’re stuck in…
Collarbone: Based on when they froze in time.
Under the Arm: I choose to be my own super hero.
Top of the Head: I don’t want them to suffer anymore.
Eyebrow: Struggling to stay safe,
Side of the Eye: Lost in time.
Under the Eye: I choose to send each one of them love.
Under the Nose: And lots of appreciation.
Chin: Even stuck…
Collarbone: They tried to help me.
Under the Arm: They deserve help.
Top of the Head: I send love,
Eyebrow: And healing energy.
Side of the Eye: I send them gentle tapping.
Under the Eye: And let them know there’s hope.
Under the Nose: I let them know we all want the same thing.
Chin: And that they’ve done a great job.
Collarbone: I let them know I have really good news for them…
Under the Arm: It’s ok to relax and heal now.
Top of the Head: They are safe.
Take another deep breath.
Notice what you’re feeling. (You may want to write it down and tap on it some more!)
When we take the fight and blame out of inner conflict, the conflict often goes away. And where there was once criticism and distress, calm peaceful purpose can emerge.
If you’re tired of being at war with yourself, and want to find the place of calm peaceful purpose, please join us for Reprogram Your Primitive Brain. We’ll guide you in the most powerful and loving approach we’ve ever seen, something Rick and I developed over 20+ years each of research and testing. The program closes Friday at midnight, so if you’re a yes, please click the button below and enter your information!
There is also a Real Skills Workshop for Quiet Your Noise that can be immensely helpful. It's over on our Community Center here.
We’d love to help you declare peace and transform your tug-of-war zone into a land of calm confidence.
Cathy with Rick