These 2009 sessions include focused teaching and open exploration, primarily facilitated by Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli with community contributors in some sessions.
Begin with one of the refined Guides below, or browse the original recordings chronologically. Each transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.
Focused Guides
- Afraid – I’m Afraid to be Visible
- Anxiety: Listening to the Body and Finding Safety Now
- Apprehensive – I Feel Apprehensive About the Future
- Ashamed – I Am Ashamed of Myself
- Betrayed – I Feel Betrayed By My Body
- Criticized – I Feel Criticized
- EFT Tapping for Fear: What Still Scares Me?
- EFT Tapping for Feeling Unlovable: I Am Unlovable Because…
- EFT Tapping for Identity Blocks: Who Would I Be Without This?
- EFT Tapping for Needing to Be Seen
- Everything Would Be Better… If I Just… (Lost Weight, Felt Better, Got a Better Job)
- Fairy Tale Tapping
- Father Issues: Finding Safety, Respect, and Freedom Around Father
- Follow Curiosity Beyond Your Comfort Zone
- God Must Hate Me
- I Am Not Wanted
- I Am Unforgivable
- I Can’t Lose Weight
- I Deserve To Be Punished
- I Don’t Understand… Why Me?
- I Feel Overwhelmed: Finding Clarity One Baby Step at a Time
- I Hate Being Dependent on Others: A Guide to Healthy Interdependence
- I Have To Be Special To Get What I Want
- I Need to Be Fixed: Feeling Okay Enough to Connect
- I Want to Be Thankful, But… Making Gratitude Feel Safe and Real
- I’m Not Allowed To Change… I’m Bound By Family Rules
- Impatience – I’m So Impatient
- Internal Conflicts: Finding the Yes and No Inside
- Is It Safe To Care About Myself?
- It’s My Fault
- It’s Not Fair!
- I’m Not Getting Better Fast Enough
- Law of Attraction Basics: Vibration, Allowing, and Emotional Freedom
- Loneliness – I’m Very Lonely
- Mindful Eating: Let Pleasure Help You Recognize Enough
- Mother Issues: Finding Calm Around Mother
- My Pain Is Beyond My Control
- Raising Self-Esteem: Learning to Appreciate Yourself Safely
- Resistance Can Be an Integrity Signal
- Sadness Is Not Self-Pity or Wallowing
- Smoking With Shame: Finding the Need Under the Habit
- Take Off the Fear Goggles Without Ignoring Guidance
- Thriving Business: Emotional Freedom for Success, Clarity, and Support
- Tickle the Project: A Gentler Way Through Procrastination
- Unappreciated – I Feel Unappreciated
- Unsafe – It’s Not Safe To Feel Safe
- Unwanted – I Don’t Feel Wanted
- Vibrational Handwashing: Clear What You Pick Up From Other People
- When Deadlines Feel Like Trouble
- When Motivation Feels Like a Whip, Look for Inspiration
- When Struggle Feels Like Loyalty to Your Family
- When You Need to Know Right Now to Feel Safe
- Your Thriving Business – 2009-01-07
- Your Worth Is Not Measured by How Useful You Are
Explore the Original Sessions
The sessions are arranged chronologically. Recording titles and topic notes, where available, can help you find a useful starting point.
January 2009
January 8, 2009 — Open Call
Want to teach class… resisting it.; How to find your YES that is in alignment with your own integrity; Reframing how I think about my spiritual practices; “I’m not making enough sacrifices.”; “I need to end the friendship.”.
Guides drawn from this session:
January 10, 2009 — I Hate (Part of) My Body
Overview; Why do we hate our bodies?; Social aspects; Being specific; Weight issues; Where did we learn to hate that aspect of our body?; A lot of people (esp women) say “I Hate My Body”; Most people generalize.; Creates overall discord.; If this is part of your dialog, recognize that.; People generally hate their body because they think it is ugly, it’s in pain or limits them in some way.; Many people in the US hate their body because it is overweight.; Taping on I HATE My body.; We don’t really hate our WHOLE body in general. Lets be more specific. Do you hate your aorta? Your liver?; What we resist, persists.; For some of us, it feels like we “pinch off” that part of our body.; Because we find it repulsive, we isolate it, ignore it, hate it.; As long as we hold onto that energy, it’s harder to heal that part or help it move toward what we want. Or accept it.; Pick a part of your body you find repulsive (or just don’t like much).; Weight; SI joint; Where did you learn to find it hateful?; Who taught you? Where did you learn to hate that part?
January 15, 2009 — Open Call
Men always have expectations; I’ve had to turn myself off; I really need her to be different; I reclaim my power to feel good; Old habit of focusing on disaster; Changing the channel to positive.
January 19, 2009 — Open Call
Procrastination and overwhelm; Tickle rather than Tackle a project; What is ripe; Stuff piling up; This is the way it’s going to be for the rest of my life.
Guides drawn from this session:
January 30, 2009 — Open Call
Every emotion feels SO big; Raging inside when I can’t change them; This is not how it SHOULD be; Being myself even if they don’t respond; Coming out of my comfort zone… tightness in my tomach… feels unsafe; I want to go with my CURIOSITY; With people I feel happy… alone I feel a spiral of loneliness and unhappiness; Waiting for Dad to arrive… and feeling insecure and unsure.
Guides drawn from this session:
February 2009
February 5, 2009 — Open Call
Getting in my own way; Anxious when everything is going good; I should be beyond it by now; Choking on my dissapointment; Setting boundaries with my kids; Not fitting in.
February 12, 2009 — Yeah, I Just Love V.D. (Valentine’s Day) – NOT!
Give your heart some sweet relief for Valentine’s Day… especially if this day makes you feel “less than loved.”; Commercialism on Valentine’s Day; What we learned as children; From the female perspective; From the male perspective; What we’re reaching for; Team members… for more details see the post at:.
February 13, 2009 — Open Call
This STUCK feeling in my stomach; Want to… afraid to… conflict!; Baby steps; A part of me just doesn’t believe it.
February 16, 2009 — Mindful Eating
What is Mindless eating (driving in the care, eating in front of the tv, bag of chips while working); What do we mean by mindful; Fears; If I appreciate food, I will eat more. I won’t be able to control myself.; Guilt and shame, I shouldn’t be eating ANYTHING until I’m at the ideal weight.; Is it safe to enjoy food? People will judge me if the see me enjoying eating.; Do I deserve it?; Energetic nurishment as well as vitamins.; Food you brought. (actual food or in your imagination); Look at it and smell it, appreciate the journey took to make this.; Notice how it feels on lips, teeth and tounge.; With the intent of enjoying it, texture, flavor, smell, colors, etc.; Notice what blocks come up.; Positive tapping on allowing/remembering to allow pleasure in, give my body permission to enjoy this even more.
Guides drawn from this session:
February 19, 2009 — Open Call
Tightness in solar plexus; I can’t say bad things about my parents; Feeling safe with yourself; Feeling ignored and confused; Wanting to connect.
February 21, 2009 — Open Call
Can I be resilient… completely resilient… to the “down” energies of others?; Lots of businesses not doing well; What are they selling energetically that you are buying?; From “unexpected financial thing” to anger to receptive… a march up the vibrational scale; Friend yelled at me and now I feel cold and numb; The primitive brain’s choices when we are not feeling safe: fight, flight, FREEZE; Tiredness and pre-occupation; Managing our energy state.
February 25, 2009 — Open Call
My Housing Situation; Starting global and working towards clarity; Going with the FLOW; I need to know RIGHT NOW… in order to feel safe. Don’t I?; I don’t like surprises.; Heaviness; Being too much, showing off, too playful… go to your corner!; YES YES Game… not Suckopoly.
Guides drawn from this session:
March 2009
March 2, 2009 — Open Call
How stupid could you be?; I’m afraid to hear God.; Co-worker causing anxiety and stress.; Inner child feeling unsafe.; Need something more challenging at work.; Motivation vs. Inspiration.
Guides drawn from this session:
March 12, 2009 — Open Call
Frustration.; I want to feel safe.; I don’t have an option here.; Feeling safe having more.; If you have money, they will hurt you.; Baby steps to financial abundance.
March 13, 2009 — Open Call
Jaw Tension and Grinding Teeth; Listening to body, helping it release the energy before bed; Fear of Fear… curl up and hide; Not good enough, not enough money, people will criticize or judge me; I don’t know how to MAKE it happen; I can’t have it; Regret; Come over and PLAY with my clutter!
March 14, 2009 — I Don’t Deserve To Get What I Want
Even if there is abundance in many areas of our lives, most of us have some aspect in our lives that just doesn’t flow.; Incredibly frustrating! Sometimes we think we must not deserve it.; Where did you learn that you didn’t deserve whatever your goal is?; Who or what showed you that you were unworthy of what you want?; Comparison with others.
March 23, 2009 — Open Call
Disconnected from family… I’m different from them; Commission-based business: no deal/no pay; Stick up for myself… not good enough; Doing what I should do… or something even better; Business declared chapter 11… and I’m mad at myself.
March 26, 2009 — Open Call
This anger is too big.; I can’t hate anyone.; Anxious about money.; Mom taught me there is never enough.; Diabetes and I ate ice cream.; Don’t I have to do it on my own?
April 2009
April 9, 2009 — Open Call
I MUST… Deliver! Do a GOOD Job! Make a GOOD Impression! Have a COMPLETE GRASP of the Knowledge… and be GUARANTEED to have a job.; And I also want to relax and not feel DRIVEN all the time!; Getting it RIGHT… Don’t want to make a MISTAKE.
April 13, 2009 — Open Call
Discussion about abundance; I need to look like that or no one will want me; Accepting my body; Feels like a nail in my hip; Feeling afraid; Taking care of myself; I am the ____ sister, she is the ____ sister.
April 18, 2009 — Open Call
I can’t set boundaries with my sister, she would feel abandoned.; Chemical sensitivity and setting boundaries with a teenage daughter.; You are ruining my life, why can’t you be like other mom’s?; Here I am again!
April 29, 2009 — Open Call
Frustration with medical community, misdiagnosis and propaganda; They are using me to make money; Protecting myself from pain; Connecting with love; I hate being micromanaged; Ex’s obsineties in my ear.
April 30, 2009 — Open Call
No one got back to me!; Avoidance v. Determination; Don’t want to disappoint him; What doesn’t feel SAFE?
May 2009
May 2, 2009 — Open Call
Pain around Dad passing, needing to help him; Freezing to avoid dissapointment; Following body sensations to emotions; Feeling more grounded; Blocks to trusting.
May 6, 2009 — Open Call
Resentment about the meeting I just had; Anger – I want things to be FAIR!; Asking the primitive brain; Stuck in my relationship with my sister; Hypersensitivity to car noises; What about this makes me irritated?
May 11, 2009 — Open Call
Mom said I was a “little bitch”; It’s not safe to express myself; Anger and uncertainty at work; Trusting the flow and setting boundaries; Please don’t make me!; Family inheritance, who would I be without it?
May 21, 2009 — Open Call
Scared inner child causing distress, helped her find love and peace.; Wanting to lose weight, primitive brain in the way, moving to being safe and strong.; Does family history make it impossible for me to be healthy?; Trouble sleeping.; Is it Guidance knocking on the door at 3am?; Inner conflict, afraid to move forward, not happy where I am.; Playing the “what if” game, both negative and positive.
May 26, 2009 — Open Call
Addicted to the STRUGGLE; Contrast that gives clarity; The “BE” Team; Car noises… worse; What is keeping me from moving to a better place?
Guides drawn from this session:
May 27, 2009 — Open Call
Poor digestion: gassy, bloated WORRY in my belly; The RELATIONSHIP Thing; Giving and Receiving… am I really comfortable receiving?; She insulted me; Anger and Rage at Work; Needy… I hate that.
June 2009
June 2, 2009 — Open Call
Feeling terrible, guilty and ashamed.; I’m embarrassed to ask for things, it makes them uncomfortable.; If I have money I’ll be a target.; I am worth less than money.; I feel guilty for yelling.; He crossed my boundaries, not sure he would have heard anything else.
June 18, 2009 — Open Call
I want to matter.; I can’t get on their priority list!; Is it ok to have my needs met?; I want to stand up for myself!; I don’t feel like I have any power.; I don’t feel smart!
June 24, 2009 — Open Call
How can I look for the blessing in EVERYTHING?; Why does everyone want to destroy me?; How to allow MORE in and be comfortable with it all?; How can I be balanced in my responsibilities without being overly responsible?; Why am I so tired?
June 30, 2009 — Open Call
It’s not safe to have money.; Building trust.; I can’t let go or something will happen.; Tuning into the body to find what it wants.; Bad nightmares- dead body.; Releasing old guilt.; Expanding energy field.
July 2009
July 8, 2009 — Open Call
Fear of change.; Grieving the loss of my dog.; I deserve to be punished.; Did I let my father down?; My relationship with my children.; Feeling of suffocating.
July 15, 2009 — Open Call
Hate being dependent; I’m not good enough yet; Fast is bad vs. fast is fun; Clothes and my identity as a woman; I can’t do this until I’m perfect.
July 15, 2009 — Open Call
Trying really hard and not succeeding.; Frustration in my stomach and heart.; Sugar addiction.; Mad and deprived.; Not allowed to do anything.; Emotions in my eyes.
July 20, 2009 — Open Call
My money problems feel like they will never end.; Trapped, I give up!; They will never fogive me for what I’m going to do.; Tapping for clarity; Deep self-hatred.
July 23, 2009 — Open Call
I want to stabilize my vibration during the day; I am going to lose (trading); Hips locked; Guiding your own energy.
August 2009
August 1, 2009 — Open Call
I eat too much in the evening.; Finding other ways to sooth myself.; Struggling for control.; Shame and guilt over a car accident.; I should have been different.; Fears coming up.
August 11, 2009 — Open Call
Helplessness – freeze state; I need to be JUST LIKE…; Not feeling like I belong; 30lbs down… struggle; I’ll never let myself get hurt like THAT again!; Triggered by “You look AMAZING!”; I’m not allowed to be happy because…; I’m SUPPOSED to grieve and miss him… anything else would be surreal, like I’d gone crazy or something.
August 13, 2009 — Open Call
Scared when feeling grateful; Previous events make me feel afraid to love my life now; Tooth abscess… addressing emotional issues, limiting beliefs, physical sensations and treatments, and send energy; Falling asleep issues…; Going against my NO… I’m RESPONSIBLE for them! (Maybe not…).
August 18, 2009 — Open Call
Why do I chose to move to a place I’m not happy with?… Even if it is better than the place I am now?; Why do I repeat patterns of internal conflict?; I’m triggered and unable to be resourceful; How can I stop watching TV?
August 19, 2009 — Open Call
I don’t want to be controlled, is it safe to be in a relationship?; Food issues and Crone’s Disease, guilt and cookies.; Anxiety around a medical problem, what if it get’s worse?; They said it would happen, and it did. Now I don’t feel safe.
August 29, 2009 — Open Call
Loneliness, breaking off friendship because he’s obsessive; High anxiety; LOTS of resistance to getting my business started; Loss of pets.
September 2009
September 5, 2009 — Open Call
Being present now, getting grounded.; I’m resistant to deadlines, deadlines equal trouble.; Enough is enough, tired of people melting down.; Fears about tapping on traumas.; Feeling cursed and doomed.; It’s all my fault- Mommy blamed me.
Guides drawn from this session:
September 9, 2009 — Open Call
What he said made me feel bad, brings up insecurities.; Anger, it isn’t safe! He was the only one who got to be angry.; It’s dangerous to be happy and abundant, isn’t it?!; I don’t feel good enough, I want to be wanted.
September 15, 2009 — Open Call
Pattern of being late… aligning with being on time; Attached to being a victim… and the benefits of being one; Feeling safe in the world.
September 24, 2009 — Open Call
Smoking, helps my anxiety; Intense anxiety attacks; Feeling pissed off!; Scared for my nephew; Working with enraged co-worker; What if it’s ok right where I am?; It HAS to be hard!
September 26, 2009 — Open Call
What is my body saying?; Can I have more confidence?; Wanting more abundance; Feeling critisized; Integrity vs income; I couldn’t win; Trouble sleeping at 4 am.
September 29, 2009 — Open Call
Vibrational Hand Washing; Anxious About Conference; “Prove” EFT is effective to medical professionals?; Wake up feeling like crap… and scared; Refuse to face a part of me; I’m a mean person… aren’t I?
Guides drawn from this session:
September 29, 2009 — Open Call
Anger and regret in my body.; Missed possibilities.; Sadness means self pity and wallowing, I can’t allow that!; All these feelings in my body.; Great opportunity, is it safe to pack?!
Guides drawn from this session:
October 2009
October 3, 2009 — Open Call
Anger at former friend, how could she do that?; Primitive brain; Family of screamers; Conflict with body, it wants me to suffer; I feel responsible for my son; Is the world safe; Resisting my feelings.
October 10, 2009 — Open Call
Son ill and lacking, turning it over to the universe; Acceptance of sons resistance; How can I relax?; Birth trauma; Releasing what my father said; Fear of being attacked.
October 14, 2009 — Open Call
Not living life “right”…not making changes in my diet; Food guidance… listening to and appreciating your liver; Powerlessness and inflammation; I have to do something USEFUL to be worth anything; Fear of showing myself to others; STUCK in all aspects of my life; Work I love… or go back to work I just “liked” in order to make more money?
Guides drawn from this session:
October 22, 2009 — Open Call
Math test anxiety; Afraid of being like my mother; I’m afraid of my feelings; Conflicting feelings about people at work; Dealing with the aftermath; I didn’t follow my intuition.
October 27, 2009 — Open Call
I’ve totally mismanaged my career; God wants suffering and sacrifice… right?; I judge myself based on my weight… worth my weight in gold?; I’ve not ever good enough.
November 2009
November 3, 2009 — Open Call
Insecurity about being left; Sadness in my heart; Inherited guilt and shame; Worry that keeps returning; Trying to do what I cannot; Disconnected; Being responsible for what I can’t control; Addiction and sugar cravings.
November 5, 2009 — Open Call
They didn’t believe me… thought I was faking; Need more that two meals a day; What if what I fear is REAL?; They think I’m the crazy one for believing in that which is unseen.
November 15, 2009 — Open Call
Deep sadness; Terror of not doing it right; Unsafe having fun; Feeling sick and achey; Bad haircut and boundaries; Nervous about next week.
November 21, 2009 — Open Call
My body is on red alert; Taking responsibility for my sisters stuff; Everyone else’s needs are more important than mine; Dissapointed in myself.
November 24, 2009 — Open Call
Lack of immunity, just catching everything, scary, under attack; Responsible for my sister’s feelings; Not able to take care of my stuff, my life; Everyone else’s needs are more important than my own; Drank too much last night, disappointed in myself.
November 30, 2009 — Open Call
I’m scared because I gained weight; Burning rage about daughter; Do I have a good reason to be happy?; Hard to accept myself around my weight; Monkey mind will not shut up; They keep changing their minds; I hate my reactions to my feelings; Left in the dust; I expect to be disappointed by men; Can I trust her?
December 2009
December 3, 2009 — Open Call
Men are assholes; Resistance to being myself in the marriage; Right shoulder pain… I have to hold onto everything; Spirit, Law of Attraction, and trusting non-physical.
December 9, 2009 — Open Call
Feeling misunderstood by my family; Suffocating people; Someones going to be there; They are all smarter, richer and more successful; Tapping on younger me; Frustrated with being sick; Taking Body Yes/No to new level.
December 15, 2009 — Open Call
Grief; Connection to Source; Fear goggles; Don’t want to be too silly; Shame about my body weight; Is this real? Can it last?
Guides drawn from this session:
December 22, 2009 — Open Call
I ALWAYS want to be grateful… but I’m not grateful enough for what I do have; Feeling monetarily unappreciated by those I help in business; Trapped in myself, things happening outside of my expectations; Letting go of my judgmental attitudes… I learned them from Dad.
December 26, 2009 — Open Call
Invisible with a broken heart; It’s not safe to be creative; Overwhelmed with “shoulds”; Can’t stop feeling stressed!; I have to prove myself, I do know it!; I don’t like these feelings at all.
December 31, 2009 — Open Call
Mother getting older… fell… sister doesn’t do it the same way I would; Sister needs to vent with me; Triggered by the past; Teeth hurting… new fillings… “New Normal”; It cannot be helped. (10); Family not really interested in me.