Internal conflict is what happens when one part of us says Yes and another part says No.
I want financial abundance, but I am afraid to celebrate it.
I want to be liked, but needing approval costs me my freedom.
I want to lose weight, but I do not want to diet.
I want to move forward, but part of me is waiting for permission.
I want to accept myself, but I have all these issues.
I want to eat healthier, but another part of me rebels.
Internal conflict can be exhausting because the body is not at peace with itself. It is strained, trying to move in two directions at once.
This guide helps with:
- recognizing the yes and no inside a desire
- using the body to locate where conflict lives
- tapping with both sides instead of trying to overpower one side
- listening for what the “no” is protecting
- moving from inner fighting toward inner cooperation
- working with abundance, approval, diet, permission, self-acceptance, and healthy choices
How to Find an Internal Conflict
Say the desire out loud and listen to the body.
Try this: I want (?).
Then pause.
If it feels completely true, relaxed, open, and clear, there may not be much conflict.
If the body tightens, argues, collapses, braces, goes foggy, or says “yes, but…” there is likely a conflict worth listening to.
Ask:
- What part of me says yes?
- What part of me says no?
- What is the no afraid would happen?
- What is the yes longing for?
- Where do I feel the conflict in my body?
- What would make this feel safer, cleaner, or more aligned?
The ‘no’ is not the enemy. Often it is a protector with outdated information, real concerns, or unmet needs.
Tapping: These Internal Conflicts
Use this when you feel tired of fighting yourself.
Side of the Hand: Even though I have these internal conflicts, and I am tired of fighting myself, I accept that both sides have something to say.
Even though part of me wants everything to flow, and part of me does not think it is safe, I am willing to listen more respectfully.
Even though this conflict feels like the core of the issue, I do not have to solve it all overnight.
Top of the Head: These internal conflicts
Eyebrow: I am tired of them
Side of the Eye: Part of me wants to move
Under the Eye: Part of me says no
Under the Nose: Part of me wants flow
Chin: Part of me does not feel safe
Collarbone: No wonder I feel stuck
Under the Arm: No wonder this feels tiring!
Top of the Head: Maybe both parts matter
Eyebrow: Maybe the yes has wisdom
Side of the Eye: Maybe the no has protection
Under the Eye: Maybe I do not have to overpower myself
Under the Nose: I can listen for the need
Chin: I can listen for the fear
Collarbone: I can listen for the next step
Under the Arm: I can move toward cooperation
Top of the Head: I do not have to do everything overnight
Eyebrow: I do not have to become unlimited today
Side of the Eye: That scares parts of me too
Under the Eye: I can take one step
Under the Nose: With my body
Chin: With support
Collarbone: With compassion
Under the Arm: Toward more inner peace
Take a breath. Notice whether the conflict feels a little less like a battle.
Let the Yes and No Speak
Instead of arguing with the conflict, give each side a simple voice.
You can write two columns:
Yes, I want this because…
No, I do not want this because…
And then tap the contrast:
Side of the Hand: Even though I have a yes and a no about this, I am willing to hear both sides.
Even though this conflict makes me feel stuck, maybe there is useful information here.
Even though I want one clean answer, I can let the mixed truth be here for a moment.
Top of the Head: I want this
Eyebrow: No, I do not
Side of the Eye: Yes, I do
Under the Eye: No, I do not
Under the Nose: I want the benefit
Chin: I do not want the cost
Collarbone: I want the freedom
Under the Arm: I do not want the risk
Top of the Head: Both sides are here
Eyebrow: Both sides have reasons
Side of the Eye: I can listen
Under the Eye: I can slow down
Under the Nose: I can ask what would help
Chin: What would make this safer?
Collarbone: What would make this cleaner?
Under the Arm: What is the next honest step?
Take a breath. Let the answer be smaller than the whole decision if that helps.
Abundance Without Bracing
Wanting abundance can activate fear, shame, loyalty conflicts, and visibility concerns.
Financial abundance may sound like an obvious yes, but the body may hold old meanings:
- If I have more, people will resent me.
- If I celebrate, it will be taken away.
- I will become like people who misused money.
- I do not deserve it.
- I will not know how to handle it.
- I will be expected to rescue everyone.
The conflict is not solved by forcing “I deserve abundance” over the top of the fear. It helps to ask how “abundance” would need to be experienced to feel aligned.
Clean abundance might include:
- generosity with boundaries
- safety without hiding
- enoughness without superiority
- support for service, rest, creativity, family, and freedom
- gratitude without fear of loss
Approval and the Need to Be Liked
Wanting to be liked is human. Needing everyone to like us is exhausting.
If part of you needs reassurance, include it. Ask what age it feels. Ask what it is afraid would happen if someone disapproved.
Then tell the truth:
Not everyone will like me.
Not everyone has to.
I can still be safe. I can still be kind. I can still belong with the people who are right for me.
Diet Rebellion and Body Guidance
When the head demands a diet, the body may rebel.
“I want to lose weight, but I do not want to diet” is a classic internal conflict. One part wants change. Another part associates dieting with deprivation, control, punishment, shame, and failure.
Instead of fighting, ask:
- What does my body actually want more of?
- What food feels like a yes right now?
- What movement feels kind?
- What deprivation pattern am I refusing?
- What would healthier eating look like without punishment?
Healthy change tends to work better when the body is included as an ally, not treated as a problem to dominate.
Waiting for Permission
Sometimes the body is ready to move forward, but an old authority still lives inside.
You may be an adult and still feel like you need permission from a parent, teacher, partner, boss, or tribe.
Try saying: I am allowed to move forward now.
If the body tightens, tap there.
The truth may be:
I am not fifteen anymore.
I can consider others without handing them my life.
I can choose respectfully.
I can move at the pace of my own life now.
Self-Acceptance With All These Issues
Self-acceptance does not mean every issue is solved.
It means you stop making your worth depend on being finished.
Try: Even with these issues, I can like myself a little bit.
Maybe not totally. Maybe not dramatically. A little bit is often enough to soften the fight.
The part of you that has worked so hard deserves acknowledgment. The part that is tired deserves support. The part that still struggles deserves compassion, not exile.
Session Audio
This guide was adapted from a Thriving Now Circle call with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli.