I’m So Impatient: Listen to the Urgency Without Letting It Drive
Impatience often contains more than preference about timing. A client has not decided, the body has not healed, or change is not happening fast enough—and the delay seems to mean something frightening: I am failing. I was wrong. I will not get what I need. I cannot be wrong and still be loved.
Urgency can point to a real deadline. It can also be an attempt to force certainty from a process that has its own timing.
This Guide Helps With
- pressuring clients, loved ones, or yourself to decide
- demanding that the body heal immediately
- treating slow progress as proof of failure
- becoming dysregulated by uncertainty
- identifying the fear beneath “Hurry up”
- balancing decisive action with respect for timing
Ask What the Delay Means
Complete:
- If this does not happen soon, then ___
- Their delay makes me feel ___
- I need the outcome to prove ___
- The part of my body that feels urgency is ___
- A real action available now is ___
Impatience often becomes workable when the feared meaning is named. “They have not decided” is a fact. “I am a failure and will never be loved” is the activated story.
Do Not Make Someone Else Regulate the Urgency
Sometimes the impulse to call again, demand an answer, or press for a decision is an attempt to get rid of our own tension. Before contacting the other person, ask: “Is there new information or a real deadline, or do I need them to soothe my uncertainty?” Tap first, then decide whether a clear request is still needed.
Urgency can also scramble body signals. We may override a quiet no because we “have to,” or distrust a yes because waiting feels safer than risking a mistake. Reduce the pressure and check again. A body signal is information to explore, not a command that eliminates judgment.
Respecting timing does not mean indefinite waiting. It means using boundaries and decision points instead of escalating force.
Tapping: Heal, Decide, Change—Now
Side of the Hand: Even though I am so impatient, and I need this to change now, I acknowledge the fear underneath the urgency.
Even though their timing or my body’s timing feels intolerable, force may be adding confusion rather than clarity.
Even though part of me believes being wrong makes me unlovable, I am open to remaining worthy while I learn and wait.
Top of the Head: Hurry up.
Eyebrow: Decide already.
Side of the Eye: Heal, damn it.
Under the Eye: I cannot stand this uncertainty.
Under the Nose: The delay feels personal.
Chin: My body may be confused by all this pressure.
Collarbone: Another person has their own timing.
Under the Arm: I can listen for the real deadline.
Top of the Head: I can take the action that is mine.
Eyebrow: I can make a request or set a boundary.
Side of the Eye: I can stop trying to control what is not mine.
Under the Eye: Progress can be uneven and still real.
Under the Nose: I can be wrong and remain lovable.
Chin: I can learn without attacking myself.
Collarbone: I choose clear direction with less force.
Under the Arm: I allow enough time for the next useful step.
Take a breath and separate what needs action today from what needs space.
Turn Impatience into a Boundary or Experiment
If waiting truly has a cost, name it and set a decision point: “I need an answer by Friday or I will choose another option.” That is different from escalating pressure every hour.
For healing or personal change, choose a review interval and a few meaningful measures. Constant checking can keep the body in alarm. Bring health concerns to qualified clinicians rather than using emotional pressure as treatment.
Impatience can supply energy. Calm confidence gives that energy a direction.
Session Audio
This guide was adapted from a Thriving Now session with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli.
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