I recently lost two parents. I knew it was coming but I didn’t expect it to hurt so much or the grief, sadness, and loneliness to last so long. I feel like nothing will ever be the same again. –Bobbi
When dear members of our “tribe” go away, our primitive brain can feel insecure and scared. We want to reach for comfort… but the very people we once reached for aren’t there. That is very painful and frightening.
And this experience can bring up old traumas that have laid buried for decades. Anything that reminds us of being alone, scared, vulnerable, or unsupported can start flooding us alongside this current pain. If you have specific memories from the past, you can try some inner tapping on them. (A private EFT tapping session might be ideal for you, too.)
Love is forever. What you created with them is still inside you and integrated into All That Is. Connecting with that can be comforting. And if you believe they can hear you and send and receive love even after they passed on, tapping and tuning into ongoing connection can feel warm and loving, as well.
Karate Chop: Even though I’m hurting, I miss them so much, I’m open to feeling loved, connected, and supported by the Universe.
Even though our relationship have changed and that wrenches my heart, I invite myself to connect with all the love and caring they poured into our relationship… perhaps THAT is forever.
Even though I am grieving, and that’s natural… I had a big loss… I choose to take care of myself and invite comfort and caring into my life. I ask the Universe to help me heal and find new loving connections.
Top of the Head: I am hurting.
Eyebrow: I miss them so much.
Side of the Eye: I feel alone.
Under the Eye: I miss the connection.
Under the Nose: I miss knowing they were there.
Chin: They held my stories…
Collarbone: And helped me feel love and belonging.
Under the Arm: No wonder I hurt so much.
Top of the Head: I am open to healing.
Eyebrow: I’m open to feeling connected to their love…
Side of the Eye: Even though they aren’t here in physical form.
Under the Eye: Perhaps the love we created is forever.
Under the Nose: I ask the Universe to help me feel it now.
Chin: I send them love as well.
Collarbone: I miss the flow back and forth.
Under the Arm: I’m open to sharing it energetically anyway.
Top of the Head: What would they suggest I do…
Eyebrow: To comfort myself from a loss?
Side of the Eye: I can do some of those things for myself.
Under the Eye: I can tap and talk to them now.
Under the Nose: I can offer myself a cup of hot tea.
Chin: I can wrap myself in a warm blanket and cry.
Collarbone: I can ask a friend for a hug.
Under the Arm: I am grieving and that hurts.
Top of the Head: But love is forever.
We hope this helps. We know how hard it is to lose someone so close to you. And two at the same time is more challenging.
Remember, you don’t have to face this alone. Your primitive brain is already feeling isolated and sad. Turn to friends, a therapist or coach, or join a group that feels safe and supportive. Our Group Coaching Program may be a great fit for this time of your life… we designed it to be.
Originally published July 14, 2011