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- Emotions are energy… energy in motion.
- Unhealthy energy as congealed fatty dross, disease, and pain.
- “I always feel free to express my true emotions.” Is it true?
- Transform negative beliefs into positive choices… for you!
“Nice girls don’t get angry.”
“Good boys never raise their voices in anger.”
“If I show my feelings, then I am not in control.”
“The strong never cry.”
Emotions are energy… energy in motion. When we constrain and suppress our emotions through willpower and intense fear, our energy gets blocked.
We know from physics that energy is neither created nor destroyed. So the energy we don’t process in a healthy fashion is transformed… into unhealthy forms of energy. It may congeal as pounds of fatty dross that we must carry around. Or, it may create short circuits that cause chronic disease and pain.
My intention when using EFT is to get these stuck energies moving. Once they are moving, the combination of physical tapping on the acupoints and the statements of truth and affirmation help to harmonize and balance the energy. We become “unstuck.” We return to the flow of life, rather than living with a constipated energy system. We are literally transforming energy from an unhealthy state into an optimally healthy one.
For many people, the healthy release and rebalancing of painful emotions does not come naturally.
Try saying the following statement out loud:
“I always feel free to express my true emotions.“
On a 0-10 scale, how true does that statement feel to you? Is it a 10, perfectly true? Were you raised in the perfect family where your emotions could always be expressed and respected in healthy ways? No?? Well, welcome to the club! We’re all members. Indeed, while I think my kids have an extremely healthy lifestyle, I’m still putting money away in their “Growing Up with Dad Therapy Fund.”
It’s always hard growing up, being in (and out of) relationships, raising families, and growing older. All these life processes put a strain on our energy system. Yet, it is dramatically harder for those who do not feel safe expressing their pain and feelings to anyone. When they finally do find something like EFT, and get a taste for how it can tap away certain painful feelings, they have hope… but it is hope that is tempered by a lifetime of not feeling free to express emotions honestly. And often with good reason!
If this is the case for you, then feeling and expressing emotions in a healthy way is going to be a new skill for you to learn. And you are also going to run smack up against all your core beliefs that have kept you from doing so! You know what they are… so write them down:
“I cannot express my emotions openly and honestly because: ____________________________”
What is on your list? Perhaps some of these?
- I must stay in control at all times.
- No one will respect me.
- No one cares what I feel.
- They will take advantage of me.
- I will cry, and I refuse to be a cry baby.
- I am afraid I will become violent.
- No one will love me if they know what I really feel.
- I will be ashamed.
- They will ridicule me.
- They will know how weak I really am.
As I look at this list, I notice that they are all fear based. That means, to me, that they do not represent the highest and best use of our energy. While a part of each of us is conditioned to follow our fear thoughts without question, because otherwise we DIE (or it feels like it), there is an alternative. We can choose a different response, and make that increasingly real through the persistent use of EFT.
In practice with clients, I have them pick specific events that remind them of each item. For example, “No one cares what I feel” might be addressed using a memory of being hurt and scared and Dad yelling, “Shut up and stop whimpering!” I would use EFT on specific events until, when the statement “No one cares what I feel” is spoken aloud, it no longer feels true. This can take some time and practice! As a coach, my goal is to help teach people how to do this work themselves, between sessions, so progress can be made in days and weeks instead of months and years. Even more important, from my perspective, is that learning the technique, along with the skill of self-awareness, empowers us for a lifetime.
To help you learn, notice how I transform each of these negative beliefs into a positive choice. Tap the acupoints as you listen, to gain extra benefit.
“Even though there is NO WAY I can express my emotions openly and honestly because of ALL THESE REASONS, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.”
“Even though I must stay in control at all times, I choose to feel surprisingly safe being honest about my emotions as I express them to myself and trusted friends and professionals.”
“Even though no one will respect me, I’ve decided it is time to respect myself.”
“Even though no one cares what I feel, I choose to know the value of my own heart.”
“Even though they will take advantage of me, if they know what I feel and how much I hurt, I deeply honor and respect my feelings.”
“Even though I will cry, and I refuse to be a cry baby, I choose to find safe spaces to express the depth of my pain so I can heal fully and completely.”
“Even though I am afraid I will become violent, I choose to find it amazingly easy to use EFT to release my intense emotions in a way that is safe for everyone.”
“Even though no one will love me if they know what I really feel, I choose to express myself honestly to those who can listen with compassion, forgiveness, and love… even if that means only in my prayers and personal journal.”
“Even though I will be ashamed, I’ve decided to forgive myself anyway.”
“Even though they will ridicule me, I’ve decided to be calm and confident even in the face of crucifiers who know not what they do.”
“Even though they will know how weak I really am, I choose to be calm and confident anyway.”
“Even though I have all these good reasons to hide my feelings, I choose to know… in my heart… in every cell of my body… that I am loved, I am valuable, I am forgiven, I am enough, and I can… with God’s help… deeply and completely accept myself.”
Peace be with you, my friend. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.