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April 4, 2019 by Rick

Disappointment ~ The Let Down

Replay now available: Our replay of the tapping/coaching session on Facing Disappointment ~ Feeling the Feelings is available now. Below we talk about the energy of Let Down… something we engage around in the session.

“I feel so let down!”
“You let me down!”
“I let myself down, and feel cruddy and like a failure.”

It’s true. The raw natural feeling we get in our body when disappointment is triggered is… The Let Down.

Imagine you’ve been clawing your way “to the top” of the pyramid and, ugh, you run out of steam. You’re exhausted, shoulders sore, hands cramped, fingernails cracked. Your legs are wobbly and you’re not sure you can even sit down without falling down.

Someone who “let you down” gently would be a Friend in such a case, wouldn’t they?

We have friends all over our body. We have sensors and interconnects designed to keep us from “failing” in a way that damages us.

  • That can mean physically, where we push so hard that if we don’t stop we will crash and hurt ourselves.
  • Emotionally, we might have drained our reserves, and if we don’t let down, we might crash into despair, hopelessness, or depression.
  • Psychologically, we may be headed for a raw/risky reach where rejection or hostility or rage might be too much for our psyche to bear.
  • Spiritually, we might be stretching outside of our integrity in order to get something (or someone) we crave but that would gnaw at us if we got it.

How does disappointment play in these scenarios?

My theory is that disappointment at first whispers in the body… it’s sending an important signal. That signal feels like “let down.” Our biochemistry starts to change. Our nervous system goes from ramping up… staying engaged… to pausing and starting to disengage.

Most of us resist this Let Down feeling.

We react to the sensation of let down by fighting, resisting, fleeing, or freezing.

Essentially, we’re responding to a sensation — one I believe naturally is there to protect us — as if it is a threat and trauma.

Of course, we have thousands of examples “proving” to us that this is “normal.”

People we love and who love us, parents included, can say “You let me down!” And the blame wrapped around the disappointment makes it wounding. When people are “disappointed in us” it can trigger a primal need to “make it right again” — even if that means unhealthy sacrifice or suppression.

Then there are all the times when we felt disappointment and someone layered shame on top, making disappointment heavy and sticky icky.

I’m not saying all that we humans have called disappointment fits this. What Cathy and I are inviting is for you to get into your body enough that when you’re disappointed, feel for the sensation of Let Down and be with those feelings. Tap as you feel them. And notice how there can be a softer landing that the one you’ve become accustomed to suffering from.

Watch our session on Facing Disappointment ~ Feeling the Feelings

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There’s a comment section below the replay; we truly want to hear from you. How does this resonate? What are we missing?

In devotion to emotional freedom for all, the graceful handling of disappointment seems one of the keys to a healthy shared emotional world. When we allow the sensations of Let Down to help us pause and collect ourselves, we can more potently move into creativity again for ourselves… and together.

With love,
Rick & Cathy

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