Replay available: Our tapping/coaching session on Facing Disappointment ~ Feeling the Feelings is available now. Below we talk about the energy of Let Down… something we engage around in the session.
“I feel so let down!”
“You let me down!”
“I let myself down, and feel cruddy and like a failure.”
It’s true. The raw natural feeling we get in our body when disappointment is triggered is… The Let Down.
Imagine you’ve been clawing your way “to the top” of the pyramid and, ugh, you run out of steam. You’re exhausted, shoulders sore, hands cramped, fingernails cracked. Your legs are wobbly and you’re not sure you can even sit down without falling down.
Someone who “let you down” gently would be a Friend in such a case, wouldn’t they?
We have friends all over our body. We have sensors and interconnects designed to keep us from “failing” in a way that damages us.
- That can mean physically, where we push so hard that if we don’t stop we will crash and hurt ourselves.
- Emotionally, we might have drained our reserves, and if we don’t let down, we might crash into despair, hopelessness, or depression.
- Psychologically, we may be headed for a raw/risky reach where rejection or hostility or rage might be too much for our psyche to bear.
- Spiritually, we might be stretching outside of our integrity in order to get something (or someone) we crave but that would gnaw at us if we got it.
How does disappointment play in these scenarios?
My theory is that disappointment at first whispers in the body… it’s sending an important signal. That signal feels like “let down.” Our biochemistry starts to change. Our nervous system goes from ramping up… staying engaged… to pausing and starting to disengage.
Most of us resist this Let Down feeling.
We react to the sensation of let down by fighting, resisting, fleeing, or freezing.
Essentially, we’re responding to a sensation — one I believe naturally is there to protect us — as if it is a threat and trauma.
Of course, we have thousands of examples “proving” to us that this is “normal.”
People we love and who love us, parents included, can say “You let me down!” And the blame wrapped around the disappointment makes it wounding. When people are “disappointed in us” it can trigger a primal need to “make it right again” — even if that means unhealthy sacrifice or suppression.
Then there are all the times when we felt disappointment and someone layered shame on top, making disappointment heavy and sticky icky.
I’m not saying all that we humans have called disappointment fits this. What Cathy and I are inviting is for you to get into your body enough that when you’re disappointed, feel for the sensation of Let Down and be with those feelings. Tap as you feel them. And notice how there can be a softer landing that the one you’ve become accustomed to suffering from.
Watch our session on Facing Disappointment ~ Feeling the Feelings
Facing Disappointment ~ Feeling the Feelings
"This is your time to be present with your feelings and to let your body, mind, and energy system do what they naturally do when life disappoints."
We’re Glad You’re Here
Hi, we’re Rick (Thriving Now) and Cathy (The Intimacy Dojo & Thriving Now).
Together we invite you to step out of avoidance and into relationship with disappointment—the same way we’re doing it, right here, right now. We’re walking the path with you, tapping as we go, laughing at our pony‑craving six‑year‑olds, calming our primitive brains, and reclaiming the creative energy hidden beneath every let‑down.
When the Pony Never Arrives
"So much of our energy is focused on avoiding the feeling."
Remember begging for a pony (or bike, or perfect report card) and watching your heart crack when it never showed? Many of us learned back then that big girls don’t cry, that disappointment is dangerous, and that good behavior should guarantee the goodies. We buried the ache—and kept burying it every time life said no.
EFT Tapping Round — Meeting the Let‑Down
Side of Hand: Oh, this is my body letting down… I’m being let down, and it’s scary. I’m open to the possibility that this let‑down is actually helping me.
Top of Head: Allowing this let‑down to land softly.
Eyebrow: I feel it.
Side of Eye: It’s always been scary.
Under the Eye: Really scary feeling.
Under the Nose: It’s been so uncomfortable.
Chin: Maybe it’s helping me.
Collarbone: I’m catching myself at neutral.
Under the Arm: Learning to catch myself when I’m let down.
The Biology of Let‑Down
"Wouldn’t it make sense, survival‑wise, that there has to be a fail‑safe to keep us from dying at the foot of the tree?"
Picture it: You’re a hungry ancestor, eyeing a single apple that’s just…out…of…reach. Your body floods you with get‑that‑apple juice. You jump, climb, throw sticks—and finally slump, spent. That chemical shift from Go Go Go! to Let it go is disappointment doing its job: saving your life so you can walk to the orchard down the path.
EFT Tapping Round — Letting the Body Land Softly
Side of Hand: Oh my God, I can’t feel this—it’s horrible! Bring me another plate of spaghetti, Netflix save me. This disappointment feels so awful, and my brain thinks it will last forever.
Top of Head: What if it doesn’t last forever?
Eyebrow: I don’t want to feel this.
Side of Eye: I don’t want to feel this awful forever.
Under the Eye: Yet most feelings don’t last very long.
Under the Nose: Especially when I tap.
Chin: What if I could be with it for just 30 seconds?
Collarbone: Let my body really feel it… and release it.
Under the Arm: Letting this energy move through.
Permission to Feel—for 30 Seconds
"What if I could just be with this for 30 seconds?"
Thirty seconds of honest sensation is often all it takes for the wave to crest and settle. We remind ourselves (and you) to check the basics first—food, water, rest, gentle connection—because an empty tank magnifies every bump.
EFT Tapping Round — Hearing No with Grace
Side of Hand: Even though hearing “no” is disappointing, and part of me reacts by feeling overwhelmed and pouring it all over the place, I’m inviting my system to handle the let‑down with greater grace.
Top of Head: I’m going to feel a let‑down.
Eyebrow: If it matters to me.
Side of Eye: And I’m not going to get it.
Under the Eye: Let down to let go.
Under the Nose: Is it okay to let it go?
Chin: A let‑down to help me let go.
Collarbone: Allowing the release.
Under the Arm: Softening into this let‑down.
From Disappointment to Creative Fuel
"I refuse to be so afraid that I don't move."
Anger and frustration can be rocket fuel when we aim them wisely. We’ve both used that fire to climb on the treadmill, grab the veggies, or send the courageous email instead of stuffing feelings with cake.
EFT Tapping Round — Using the Energy
Side of Hand: Even though I have a stockpile of disappointment, anger, and sadness, I refuse to let it stop me. I’m going to use some of this energy to make a better life for me.
Top of Head: I’m doing something courageous.
Eyebrow: I’m going to stop procrastinating.
Side of Eye: Take some action with this energy.
Under the Eye: Create what I most want.
Under the Nose: I refuse to be so afraid that I don’t move.
Chin: I refuse to put it off ’til tomorrow.
Collarbone: Using this energy for good.
Under the Arm: Creating the adventure I want.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
"If I’m just good enough I’ll never be disappointed again."
Primitive brains love that story—because it pretends we control everything. In truth, apples are sometimes out of reach, people cancel, and ponies eat a lot of hay. The hurt is real; the self‑blame is optional.
EFT Tapping Round — Releasing Self‑Blame
Side of Hand: Even though this disappointment hurts and I’m making it all my fault—deciding I’m bad and a failure—I don’t need to pour salt in the wound. I can just feel the energy and soothe myself.
Top of Head: Apples are sometimes out of reach.
Eyebrow: That doesn’t make me bad.
Side of Eye: Or a failure.
Under the Eye: It’s just a let‑down.
Under the Nose: I can feel it and learn.
Chin: Then follow what I really want.
Collarbone: Creativity lives beyond the let‑down.
Under the Arm: Moving toward my true needs.
Moving Forward—Together
We’re not here to avoid disappointment; we’re here to metabolize it, grow richer growth‑rings, and keep playing. Thank you for tapping with us, for feeling the feels, and for choosing presence over pre‑disappointment. You rock for looking at this.
Until next time—may every let‑down land softly and point you toward orchards overflowing with fresh possibilities.