Invitation
Choose a part of your body you have an attitude toward. Maybe you avoid thinking about it. Maybe it hurts, looks or feels wrong to you, or seems to betray and stop you.
This lesson has two movements. First, meet the disconnection. Then, if it is present, meet the stronger animosity underneath it. Neither movement requires you to jump to love and acceptance.
First movement
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First Movement: How Disconnected Do You Feel?
If it is comfortable, place a hand on or near the part. For an internal or inaccessible place, use inner attention instead.
Ask:
- How connected or disconnected do I feel from this part, from 0–10?
- What happens in me when I give it attention?
- Am I willing to be one small amount more present?
An imperfect number is enough. It makes a starting point visible.
Side of the Hand: Even though I feel disconnected from this part of me, and
I have my reasons, I accept that this is how I feel right now.
Even though I am not sure how connected I want to be, I accept how I feel about
this part of me right now.
Even though I have feelings about this part and feel pretty disconnected, I
accept where I am and how I feel right now.
Top of the Head: I feel disconnected from this part of me.
Eyebrow: And I have my reasons.
Side of the Eye: I have my experiences.
Under the Eye: I may even have traumas connected with this part of me.
Under the Nose: No wonder I feel some disconnection.
Chin: No wonder I have felt so disconnected.
Collarbone: This is how I have been feeling—or not feeling.
Under the Arm: I am in the process of tuning in.
Top of the Head: It may be uncomfortable, and I am noticing that too.
Recheck without judging the change. More feeling can be relief, discomfort, or both. If another round feels right, try: I connect just a wee bit more. I am in the process of reconnecting me to me.
Second movement
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Second Movement: Meet the Animosity Honestly
Scan for anger, frustration, disgust, hate, or the wish that the part would go away or fix itself. Those feelings can magnify pain with another layer of suffering. Tapping gives them somewhere honest to move.
Use the word that is true for you. If `hate` is too strong, use `frustrated`, `angry`, `betrayed`, or your own language.
Side of the Hand: Even though I have strong feelings about this part of my
body—it frustrates me, hurts me, and sometimes feels like a betrayal—I
acknowledge how I feel right now.
Even though at times I hate this part, that makes sense. It really hurts. I
accept how I feel.
Even though these feelings are intense, I really want relief right now.
Top of the Head: I sometimes hate this part of me.
Eyebrow: And that makes sense.
Side of the Eye: It causes me so much pain.
Under the Eye: It feels like it is attacking me.
Under the Nose: And I do not know what to do.
Chin: Sometimes I feel so angry.
Collarbone: Sometimes I feel almost rage.
Under the Arm: Sometimes I want to get away from this part of my body.
Top of the Head: It may be doing the best it can, and I still have such
animosity at times.
Take a breath or let out a sound. If there are specific harsh phrases you say inside, tap while saying them. Accuracy matters more than politeness here.
Open a Door Without Forcing Love
When the intensity has room to move, another round might include:
I am not ready to love and accept this part of me. My feelings are too strong
for that. I am at least open to the possibility of healing the disconnect.
Being with the feelings is already a milestone. Continue, rest, or return another day according to what your system can use.
Bringing It Into Your Life
Reconnection is not making pain good. It is stopping the hurting part from being exiled as if it were not part of your whole being. Honesty, attention, and even a little less hostility can begin restoring relationship.