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From the archived Rick and Carol EFT podcast series. The series is complete.
Episode #9—What questions can get me to my core issues?
Often it is hard to get to the core issues, the energies deep within us that disturb our well-being. In this episode, Carol Look explores key questions to ask yourself (or have your therapist ask you) to bring up for relief with EFT tapping those specific events that have been stored in your body-mind. Here are some of those questions:
- How long have you suffered with this, and what was going on in your life around the time it started?
- Who else in your family suffered with this?
- What would you be focusing on if you were not worrying about the condition?
- What’s the “downside” of getting over this problem?
- What would you have to DO that you don’t want to do if you were better?
- What happened the last time you were happy, sober, at your ideal weight, or otherwise feeling better?
- What does this feeling remind you of?
Other helpful articles:
- Rick’s EFT audio session NO! You Can’t Make Me!
Companion Guide
When tapping stays at the surface, the missing piece is often not a more clever phrase. It is a question that connects the present symptom or pattern with a specific emotional experience, relationship, feared consequence, or protective benefit.
These questions are doorways, not proof of hidden causation. You are looking for what carries energy—and you remain free not to open a door that feels too large or unsafe.
This Guide Helps With
- not knowing what to tap on beneath a broad problem
- connecting timing, family patterns, and specific events
- discovering the feared downside of improvement
- understanding what a symptom or preoccupation protects you from facing
- respecting a clear “I do not want to go there”
Questions About Timing and Association
- How long have I experienced this?
- What was happening before or around the time it began?
- Who else in my family has struggled with something similar?
- What does this feeling or body sensation remind me of?
- When else have I felt this exact emotional flavor?
An answer does not establish medical or psychological causation. It identifies a possible tapping target. A body sensation that feels “weak and small,” for example, may bring a specific relationship or childhood moment to mind.
Questions About What Comes Next
- What would I focus on if I were not occupied with this problem?
- What is the downside of getting over it?
- What would I have to do that I do not want to do?
- What excuse, protection, rest, or boundary would disappear?
- What happened the last time I was healthy, sober, successful, visible, or otherwise doing better?
These questions can sound blaming if asked carelessly. The point is not “you created this problem on purpose.” It is that protective systems make complicated bargains. Smoking might be someone’s only unquestioned quiet time. Staying home might prevent a flood of invitations. Preoccupation with weight might keep attention away from a painful marriage.
When the protective function is visible, you can seek a healthier way to meet the same need.
Consent Is Part of Core Work
Sometimes the answer is clear: “I know what is underneath, and I do not want to face it.” Respecting that no can reduce the internal fight. You may tap only on the fear of going deeper, or decide not to tap at all.
Safety is not a reward for doing the deepest work. It is the condition that lets useful work become possible. Trauma, severe symptoms, and overwhelming material may call for a skilled professional.
Tapping: I Know Something Is There, and I Am Not Going There Yet
Side of the Hand: Even though this problem may be keeping me from looking at something deeper, I am going to let it for now, and I accept how I feel.
Even though I do not want to look at certain feelings, I respect that there may be good reasons.
Even though part of me is afraid to go deeper, I have decided to accept that about myself.
Top of the Head: I have fears.
Eyebrow: So does everyone else.
Side of the Eye: I do not want to look at certain things.
Under the Eye: I do not want to feel certain feelings.
Under the Nose: Maybe I know what some of them are.
Chin: I will get there when I feel like it.
Collarbone: Right now I do not want to.
Under the Arm: And right now I am not going to.
Top of the Head: Leave me alone.
Eyebrow: This protection is here for a reason.
Side of the Eye: I do not have to force the door open.
Under the Eye: I can accept all of myself.
Under the Nose: Even the part that refuses.
Chin: I want to feel safe.
Collarbone: I choose the next step and the timing.
Under the Arm: Enough safety for now is enough.
Take a breath. Notice whether your no feels firmer, softer, or more specific. You are not required to continue.
Follow Energy, Not a Theory
Write the questions that produce a body response, a sharper voice, a sudden memory, or a strong “that cannot possibly be related.” Choose one workable specific event and tap while telling the story slowly. If it becomes too much, orient to the present and stop.
The purpose of a core question is not to prove a theory about you. It is to help your own system show you where compassionate attention may bring more freedom.
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