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From the archived Rick and Carol EFT podcast series. The series is complete.
Episode #35 – Taking The Sting Out Of Criticism
We all react to criticism. But we can use tapping (EFT) to take the sting out so we can gain clarity and feel more resourceful. Let go of the hurt and tune into your own inner wisdom rather than reacting and feeling defensive.
If you’re feeling down and doubting that EFT can help, explore Doubting EFT When You Feel Down.
Companion Guide
Criticism can activate a fast protective sequence: hurt, vulnerability, anger, defense, counterattack. By the time the thinking brain comes back online, the email has been sent or the argument is already racing.
Taking the sting out does not require deciding that the other person is right. It gives you enough space to hear your own wisdom, separate their projection from useful feedback, and choose a response.
This Guide Helps With
- feeling attacked, exposed, or ashamed after criticism
- slowing an impulsive reply
- distinguishing delivery, projection, and useful information
- owning your part without collapsing into self-blame
- setting a boundary from clarity rather than reflex
Buy Yourself Time
Do not press Send while your body is in attack-and-protect mode. Step away, tap silently, take a walk, or say, “I want to think about that before I respond.”
The pause is not weakness. It prevents the automated ping-pong game in which each person’s defense becomes the other person’s next injury.
Start With Your Reaction
“I feel criticized” can function as an accusation. Begin with what you directly know:
- the exact words you heard
- where they landed in your body
- the meaning you made from them
- what you want to do in response
Perhaps the comment was cruel or inaccurate. Perhaps it contained a useful point delivered badly. Perhaps your own irritated tone contributed. You will be better able to tell after the primal sting settles.
Tapping: Hurt, Defensive, and Willing to Slow Down
Side of the Hand: Even though what they said really hurt and I feel defensive and think they are wrong, I deeply and profoundly accept my reaction.
Even though that criticism does not feel like who I am, I accept the hurt and vulnerability it activated.
Even though I want to fight back, I choose to slow down enough to hear my own wisdom.
Top of the Head: I feel so hurt and stung.
Eyebrow: Why would they say that to me?
Side of the Eye: I hate receiving criticism.
Under the Eye: I feel vulnerable.
Under the Nose: And I am mad too.
Chin: I want to attack back.
Collarbone: Of course my protective system reacted.
Under the Arm: I can pause before I act on the reaction.
Top of the Head: I am an adult now.
Eyebrow: I can slow this impulsive response.
Side of the Eye: Some of this may be about them.
Under the Eye: Some of it may contain something for me.
Under the Nose: I can decide after I feel more resourceful.
Chin: I can learn what I need to learn.
Collarbone: I can reject what is untrue or harmful.
Under the Arm: I choose a calm, clear, self-respecting response.
Take a breath. Ask, “What did they actually say, what did I hear it to mean, and what response fits my values?”
Respond From Discernment
A grounded response might acknowledge a useful point, request clarification, name the impact of the delivery, decline the premise, or set a firm limit. Self-regulation does not obligate you to remain available for abuse.
The freedom is that another person’s words no longer get automatic control of your next move. You can protect yourself, repair what is yours, and keep your dignity in the conversation.
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