Emotional States
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When Your Fears Get in the Way of Making a Difference
The desire to make a difference can activate a tug-of-war. We want our work, care, art, leadership, or presence to matter. At the same time, making a difference exposes us to uncertainty. What if it fails? What if we are not ready? What if someone else could do it better? What if people expect a…
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When Your Fears Get in the Way of Making a Difference
The desire to make a difference can activate a tug-of-war. We want our work, care, creativity, leadership, or presence to matter. At the same time, contribution exposes us to uncertainty. The protective mind supplies convincing objections: someone else will do it better, we are not ready, our body or life must be fixed first, or…
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Emerge Without Doing It All Alone
Emerging means bringing more of our gifts, truth, creativity, leadership, or love into the world. It can happen in business, relationship, art, community, or the simple decision to stop hiding. People often make emerging harder in three ways: they wait to feel completely ready, try to do everything alone, and lose contact with why the…
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The Top Three Mistakes People Make When They’re Emerging Into the World
Emerging means bringing more of your gifts, truth, creativity, leadership, or love into the world. It can happen in business, relationship, art, community, or the decision to stop hiding. Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli identify three mistakes that make emerging harder: demanding polished certainty before beginning, trying to do it alone, and losing contact with…
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Frustration May Be a Signal, Not a Character Flaw
Frustration often appears when we want movement and cannot make the system move. We blame discipline, competence, other people, or life itself. Yet frustration can be a signal that the primitive brain expects a disappointment, humiliation, or surprise it does not know how to handle. The current obstacle may be small. The stored experience beneath…
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Ego, Status, and the Right to Have a Self
“Ego” is used to mean so many things that it can become a weapon rather than a useful description. One person uses it for arrogance, another for identity, another for the primitive brain’s need for status, and another for any desire that interferes with self-sacrifice. Before trying to overcome the ego, ask what part of…
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When a Trigger Hijacks Your Emotions, Get Specific
A trigger can make us feel as though someone else has taken control of the body. Traffic becomes “I am wasting my life.” A rustling newspaper means “You are ignoring me.” An interruption becomes “I am about to be punished.” The reaction may be wildly larger than the present event, yet it is not random.…