The desire to make a difference can activate a tug-of-war. We want our work, care, art, leadership, or presence to matter. At the same time, making a difference exposes us to uncertainty.
What if it fails? What if we are not ready? What if someone else could do it better? What if people expect a ten and see us perform at a four?
The primitive brain treats uncertainty as a reason to supply opinions. Those opinions can sound like sober truth when they are actually protection from visibility, disappointment, criticism, and change.
“It Might Not Work” Is Not the Same as “Do Not Do It”
An engineer wants a bridge to work before loved ones cross it. That caution is appropriate when the consequence is catastrophic.
Creative and relational actions are often more like art. We offer something because it could help, because making it matters, or because expression itself is alive. It does not need to guarantee an outcome in order to be worth doing.
Ask what kind of risk this actually is:
- Is someone’s physical or financial safety at stake?
- Is this a reversible experiment?
- Can I offer it to a small group first?
- What would I learn even if the hoped-for outcome does not happen?
- Am I demanding bridge-level certainty from an act of expression?
Awkwardness Can Mean We Are Using Power
We often interpret awkwardness as evidence that we do not belong. Yet awkwardness is natural when we do something without long practice. It can mean we have left the narrow range where everything is familiar.
Expertise does not remove this. An expert at one level becomes a beginner at the next. Sometimes we will perform below our capacity. One imperfect moment does not expose our whole life as fraud.
Tapping: What If I Cannot Make Enough Difference?
Side of the Hand: Even though making a difference activates uncertainty, I respect the part of me that wants proof before exposure.
Even though someone else might do it better, they cannot bring my exact life, voice, care, and timing.
Even though I might perform at a four sometimes, one human performance does not define my entire contribution.
Top of the Head: I need to know it will work.
Eyebrow: I need to be completely ready.
Side of the Eye: People expect me to be a ten.
Under the Eye: I might disappoint them.
Under the Nose: I might discover my limits.
Chin: My primitive brain calls uncertainty danger.
Collarbone: This may be expression, not a bridge over a chasm.
Under the Arm: I can choose a proportionate experiment.
Top of the Head: Awkwardness can mean I am emerging.
Eyebrow: Support can help my body stay with me.
Side of the Eye: It does not have to work perfectly to matter.
Under the Eye: I can learn from what happens.
Under the Nose: I can rest and consolidate after a stretch.
Chin: My why is allowed to draw me forward.
Collarbone: I choose one honest contribution.
Under the Arm: Making a difference can begin smaller than fear predicts.
Take a breath. What is the smallest version of your contribution that would still be real enough to teach you something?
Do Not Make the Difference Alone
Purpose becomes more sustainable in connection. A tapping buddy, colleague, friend, or coach can help us hear primitive-brain predictions without mistaking them for final truth. Community also reminds the body that visibility does not equal standing alone outside the tribe.
We cannot control whether a specific offering changes a specific life. We can choose to create with integrity, learn openly, stay connected, and keep developing the skill of moving with uncertainty.
Making a difference is rarely one heroic act. It is an evolving practice of expression, feedback, rest, relationship, and return.
Session Audio
This Guide was adapted from a Thriving Now session with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli, recorded September 13, 2016. The transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.