Pliable... Or Playable?
We're humans. We were born pliable. We adapt to different climates. Cold and warm, scary or pleasant weather. Cold and warm, scary or pleasant people.
We were also born playable. We're susceptible to being manipulated by others and by our culture.
And there is a question we can ask to help us not be so susceptible… to give us clarity, calm, and confidence.
Rick: Pliable... or Playable.
[00:00:03] Apparently I am going to Iceland soon, or at least that's what Instagram is trying to convince me.
[00:00:11] You see... I don't use Instagram very often, but when I did earlier on, my friend was thinking about going to Iceland and I would like all of their posts.
[00:00:21] That led to more pictures of Iceland and more likes, or at least time spent staring at them... watching the videos. Since then Instagram has been playing me... the invitations to come visit stay.
[00:00:39] Oh, you like to swim. Here. Look! Hot spring.
[00:00:44] You know... We're humans. We were born pliable.
[00:00:49] We adapt to different climates.
[00:00:51] Cold and warm, scary or pleasant weather.
[00:00:55] Cold and warm, scary or pleasant people.
[00:00:59] We were also born playable.
[00:01:01] We're susceptible to being manipulated by others and by our culture. Things like status play to our primitive brain. Fitting in plays to our primitive brain.
[00:01:18] A fear of missing out plays to our primitive brain.
[00:01:22] So guess what? We're playable on those fronts and some others. You see it.
[00:01:30]Once you become aware of how playable we are as humans, and then you make it personal, like, okay, how am I playable?
[00:01:43] You start noticing things.
[00:01:45] For me, a huge breakthrough was becoming aware of the fear of missing out. Some people call it FOMO. The fear of missing out was a susceptibility for me. If I felt I might miss out on something, particularly something like technology, I would be drawn to buying it, investing time and energy in it.
[00:02:06]And once you become aware of how you're playable in relationships or at work...
[00:02:11] Like... if you were to look at the people that you've worked for. And you Look at what they did that made you feel like you had to whatever, work the weekend, answer the calls and emails in the evening. Whatever made you feel like you have to, I believe is a way that we're being played.
[00:02:33] Now of course, sometimes we're played because a punishment being fired or being left. Or being outcast from our group of friends or people that we care about. Well, those are real punishments that our primitive brain is aware of and it makes us susceptible to being manipulated, exploited even.
[00:02:57]Now, I believe and I, I celebrate the pliability of humans.
[00:03:02]We can adapt. Adapting is an amazing capacity that we have... to adapt to different environments, including different emotional environments.
[00:03:16] We can also be pliable in what's acceptable to us in a particular situation. Indeed. I think part of resiliency goes to flexibility and adaptability.
[00:03:33]However, emotional freedom isn't felt when we're being played against our will.
[00:03:40] So what do we do?
[00:03:42] Here's what we can do. If we feel like we have to do something. Or should do something, especially if the impulse for that is coming from outside of us, ask what makes this really matter to me? What makes this really matter to me?
[00:04:09] Going back to Iceland. Well, I love beautiful places.
[00:04:12] I happen to live in one.
[00:04:14]It matters to me to have a place that has great energy, but what really matters to me is right now to be around home and the area that I love. It really doesn't matter to me that much right now, where I am with a new baby, to think about traveling to Iceland. And so once I become clear what matters to me, well, it's not travel to Iceland.
[00:04:47] And if you look at things that you're. Wanting to buy or groups that are calling to you to be a part of their program or whatever, including our own at Thriving Now... look and ask what makes this matter to me?
[00:05:05]I believe that as we look at and become sensitive to the things that play us, it'll allow us to pause. So for example, if I know I'm susceptible to fear of missing out when I'm reading a sales page about something that really matters to me. Like love and relationships or being a really solid dad. and I get to that part where the marketers are using the fear of missing out.
[00:05:37] They say something like, well, if you don't join this program and they're not as obvious is this most of the time then? Oh, well, you're just not going to be the dad that you want to be pause now because I've become sensitive to being played. For the fear of missing out. I know that when that's present, it's time for me to pause and get clarity and not try to talk myself into going forward.
[00:06:09] We can do this around a lot of different things.
[00:06:11] What I'm noticing is that if you're feeling again, this sense of should I should be doing this or have to do this, or.
[00:06:21]Figure out what the, or else is.
[00:06:25]I picked a picture for the podcast of a human contorting, themselves working at a laptop I'm impressed by their flexibility and also doing it in high heels. Whoa.
[00:06:44]I'm also quite aware. That for many people, their work twist them, gets them to take their pliability all the way to the limit of breaking and sometimes beyond.
[00:06:58] See, that's just it. If we're pliable, that's a gift. That's a capacity. We're not trying to get rid of our pliability. When we're clear and we ask the question, what makes this matter to me? We're making sure that if we're going to bend over or work hard or devote ourselves to something that really matters in our core, our head, our heart, our gut, our essence.
[00:07:30] And then we start noticing how we're being played. And the play usually has an or else. And sometimes in the moment we accept, you know, I'm being played here, they're using a threat. Maybe it's a false threat. I'm not sure . But right now it's okay for me to go along. I'm going to use my pliability to go along for now, but I'm aware of it now.
[00:07:56] It makes me less susceptible.
[00:07:58]I would love to hear what your susceptible to being played around. Maybe it's love or work or something else. And truly, sometimes we're being played around things that matter to us. But when you ask the question, what makes this matter to me? It does give you clarity. It gives you a grounding and it leads to a calmer confidence.
[00:08:27] I'm firstname.lastname@example.org. And I'd love to hear from you. You can also stop by the new Thriving Now Community Center, thrivingnow.center and leave a message. Let's talk about this. Thanks for listening.
Until next time, I'm Rick at Thrivingnow. My inbox is open at Rick@EmotionalFreedom.Love. Or visit EmotionalFreedom.Love and leave a comment if you want to explore this together. We also have a community center forum where we'd love to have you meet with us! Thanks for listening.
Episode 17 ~ Emotional Freedom for All Podcast