Emotional States
-
When Freaking Out Is the Only Exit Your System Trusts
Sometimes we do not become intense because we enjoy intensity. We become intense because quieter signals have repeatedly failed. We asked normally. We hinted. We explained. We waited. We tried to be reasonable. Nothing changed. Then we cried, shouted, collapsed, threatened to leave, or became physically overwhelmed—and suddenly everyone paid attention. The primitive brain learns…
-
Why Self-Hate Can Feel Safer Than Self-Love
It seems obvious that loving ourselves should feel better than hating ourselves. Emotionally, that is not always true. Self-hate may be familiar. It may match the language of the family, religion, school, or relationship where we learned how belonging worked. Criticizing ourselves might have reduced attacks, signaled obedience, or kept us from appearing proud. Feeling…
-
Tend Your Own Fire Instead of Managing Everyone Else’s Mood
Some of us can feel another person’s mood before they say a word. We notice the flat voice, tight jaw, impatience, or heaviness. Then we abandon our own experience and begin trying to lift theirs. We explain, entertain, appease, solve, change the plan, or absorb the grumpiness until the good energy we started with is…
-
Overwhelm – 2006-04-03
Feelings of overwhelm are guaranteed when we focus on what we should or “have to” do. We are freedom-seeking beings, and as soon as we perceive a situation or set of tasks as enslaving us, our emotional guidance system REBELS. There are ways to re-perceive a to-do list which can make it empowered by personal…
-
Anxiety – 2006-04-02
Feelings of anxiety can come from our most primitive instincts. And it they can come from perceptions and beliefs of our thinking brain. In this extended team call we cover anxiety from several different angles as it relates to past experiences of “losing it all” to career fears and feeling like there is too big…
-
Grief – 2006-03-19
Grief is intertwined with our spiritual beliefs and knowings. So, no discussion of grief can take place without that context being present. As you listen to this team call on grief and loss, it is my hope that the message of the eternalness of Who We Really Are comes through in a way that feels…