September 18, 2005 by Thriving Now Support

Beat the Drum of Appreciation

Listen (03:49) or Download MP3

How often after we’ve been with someone for awhile, and the love-induced stupor starts to fade, we notice not only the person’s imperfections but our own fears and doubts become louder and Louder and LOUDER. We start beating the drum of fear and discontent. It is no wonder that the “music” of the relationship starts to show discord.

I was listening to Dr. Henry Grayson’s audios, The New Physics of Love, and I heard about an experiment he did with his wife. Unbeknowst to her, all during the day, he would think positive thoughts about her. Then, on alternating days, he would focus his attention on what annoyed him about her. Well, he started to notice a pattern. On the days when he thought positive thoughts, she would hear him working the locks on their New York apartment and meet him at the door. They would have a nice chat and a pleasant evening together. However, on the days when he had negative thoughts about her, he would have to seek her out when he got home. She would usually be sitting in another room, and it would take work to engage her in conversation. And they would usually end up in some petty argument.  Does that mean what we think about our mate has a direct influence on their behavior towards us, even if we don’t tell them what we were thinking? YES, that is exactly what it means!  I have tried the experiment myself. The more I focus on my mate’s wonderful qualities, how much I enjoy time with her, how much I appreciate her smile, and how great it feels when she’s happy, the next time we talk she is almost always cheerful towards me! And I’ve often found that if I am travelling and sending lots of happy thoughts her way, poof!, she magically calls at that moment!  I’ve made this same suggestion to clients, of course. Here is what I heard back from one recently:

This morning as I was riding my bike along the river, listening to my habitual drone of fear based thoughts, I did some tapping (through my bicycle helmet!) and then switched my thoughts to: “She is a beautiful, loving, compassionate, and trustworthy woman, and I’m grateful to be in relationship with her.” I did this over and over, and of course, right in the middle she called, said she loved me, and wanted to briefly stop by for a hug on her way to work. She did, and it was very affectionate, and I told her what I had been doing, and she said she had just been doing this and that, and pretty much right about when I was doing my little mantra, she suddenly had this surge of love and wanted to reach out to me. Pretty cool, huh?

When you get yourself into a energetic state where you are offering the vibration you want, the Universe responds with it in return. We are most certainly connected even when we are apart from each other in ways far beyond telephone and email. Beating the drum of worry and doubt and fear just injects that noise into the heart connection that is designed to keep us linked up. Change the tune to one of appreciation, and you will soon notice how not only your primary relationship changes but so do those with your family, friends, and co-workers. Try it, and let me know!

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