August 9, 2011 by Cathy

Why Do People Keep Walking All Over Me?

I’ve been tapping and sometimes it helps me feel better. But my life feels like crap and bad things keep happening to me. I keep hoping if I make everyone else happy, they’ll have time for me, but it doesn’t work. I spent several days with a friend, helping and listening to her, but we never talked about my stuff. And my husband decided to go with us when we went out. He wanted to drive and he’s a bad driver- I was terrified the whole time! This keeps happening over and over. Nothing is going right. Why do people keep walking all over me? — Abigail

There comes a point where you either decide to keep doing the same things over and over… or you choose to try something different.

We understand you’ve been under a lot of stress. We know you’re hurting. But did you ask your friend for support?  If you don’t have the power to say to your friend, “I want to talk about my stuff now”… to at least ask for help, it may not be all on her shoulders. People can’t read minds. Is it possible your friend doesn’t know you wanted to talk? Or, is just used to the way things have been between you?

What forces you to get in the car with your husband when he drives? If he insists, why go with him? Let him face his bad driving himself…

When did you learn you had to please others to be safe? Doing some inner tapping on those memories can give you more freedom and open your heart and mind to new possibilities.

If you give away all your power, people will take it. They might not even realize they’re doing it or that you want something different.

When did you decide you couldn’t have power? When did you decide you were powerless and at the whim of everyone else? Tapping on those beliefs and fears is important because until that shifts and you’re able to claim some of your own power, life is going to be pretty crappy.

You have an aspect of you that does have hope and a bit of power. She is tapping and wrote us asking for help. Can you ask that part of you to help you say no? To stand up for you?

Here are some suggestions for EFT tapping. Of course, tap on this only if this feels right for you. (You need to be responsible for your safety and well-being.)

Karate Chop: Even though I feel completely powerless and I hurt badly, I don’t want to stay here and I ask the part of me who knows how to reclaim my power to help me.

Even though I’m used to being powerless and giving in to all their demands and needs, I choose to reclaim my own power now, bit by bit.

Even though it terrifies me to do this, I can either step forward or stay stuck, and I’m tired of staying here hurting. I’m the only one who can change this, and I’m the only one who feels my pain. I ask the Universe to help, but I need to take the steps.

Top of the Head: They have all the power.
Eyebrow: They walk all over me.
Side of the Eye: I hate how this feels.
Under the Eye: But I gave away my power.
Under the Nose: I did it long ago.
Chin: It wasn’t safe to have it then.
Collarbone: But I can have my own power now.
Under the Arm: I choose to take steps to reclaim it now.

Top of the Head: I’ve felt adrift at the whims of others.
Eyebrow: I choose to STOP now.
Side of the Eye: I do have a choice.
Under the Eye: I can give my power away or…
Under the Nose: I can claim it and say NO.
Chin: I’m tired of being pushed around.
Collarbone: I’m tired of struggling to find a place to stand.
Under the Arm: I claim my own worth and power now.

Top of the Head: They may not like it.
Eyebrow: I’ve been trained to please.
Side of the Eye: I choose to please MYSELF now, too.
Under the Eye: It’s ok if they’re unhappy.
Under the Nose: I claim my happiness, too.
Chin: It’s not my job to make them happy.
Collarbone: They may think so…
Under the Arm: But that’s their problem.
Top of the Head: I claim my life and my power, and ask the powerful part of me to help me.

Take a deep breath.

See what comes up and continue tapping if it feels right. You can start reclaiming your power in small amounts right now. You don’t have to be blown around by his whims.

If it doesn’t feel safe to take this step forward, get some help. You may need an expert to help you find the threads of your own power and self expression.

You may also find our program Free Yourself from Inner Confusion and Fear: A Practical Guide to Emotional Clarity helpful. In it, we help you discover safety and boundaries… key knowledge to claiming your own power! We also offer private EFT coaching sessions.

  • If you give away all your power, people will take it. They might not even realize they’re doing it or that you want something different.

    Reply

  • I gave away my power, i did it long ago in a conflict with my mum as a child of about 4. That power struggle left me feeling abandoned, powerless, unloved as she walked away. Learned not to upset people but to always please them to keep them happy.

    Reply

  • Great.  I’ve just used it 3 times, and each time, I noticed a different part of the script!  It was wonderful for the people pleasing part, and also, for the part that has to obey the ‘rules’, even when they feel ‘wrong’ or are nonsensical.  Thank you for all your valuable free stuff.

    Reply

    • Repeating the same tapping several times gives energetic focus to different parts of the issue. Neat, eh? We’re delighted this free script has helped you, Suebri!

      Reply

  • Avatar
    Anniesmom52 says:

    This was perfect. I had been scared into pleasing as a very little girl and carried it thru my life. It’s caused me hurt and pain. Thank you for this tapping.

    Reply

  • Avatar
    Wanda Iqbal says:

    Tears were coming out of my eyes, when I did the tapping. I feel so much releaved now. I didn’t realize I am such a people pleaser. As a very young child I knew my parents couldn’t take care of themselves emotionally. So in order to survive, I had to rescue my parents and my sisters, I believed. I was doing the best I could, but I failed most of the time. I know now it wasn’t and isn’t my job, but many many times this knowledge is not available to me.
    Thank you for this valuable script.

    Reply

    • Children of parents who are emotionally unable to take care of themselves often decide, “I’ll be a Good Girl/Boy, and that will make everything better!” Of course, that can create imbalances later. I believe that healthy boundaries can allow those of us who love to help and be of Service ALSO do so in ways that are a YES for us. And only those ways that are a YES for us. That leaves a LOT… -Rick

      Reply

  • I hadn’t realised how much of my life has been spent in trying to please others believing that I would then “earn” love and affection. In so doing I was giving away my power so that on the rare occasions when I stood my ground I felt guilt and worried that I would not be liked / loved. I’ve still a long way to go but thank you so much for the support you provide….Sion 

    Reply

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