I Don’t Want to Go There Again
After a crisis, relapse, painful relationship, medical ordeal, or emotional collapse, old coping mechanisms can feel like emergency equipment. Even on a clear day, the nervous system keeps a death grip on the flashlight: If I relax, I will end up back there.
Recovery is not proven by throwing away every protection. It grows when you update the plan—keeping what remains useful, releasing what now causes harm, and building newer forms of support.
This Guide Helps With
- fearing a return to a painful state
- holding tightly to coping strategies that once helped
- using self-hatred as motivation or control
- experiencing medical anxiety after a health crisis
- fearing addiction, collapse, or abandonment will recur
- creating a present-day relapse and support plan
Respect the Emergency Kit
Name the coping strategy you fear releasing: overwork, isolation, food, substances, compulsive checking, self-criticism, pleasing, or control. Ask:
- What did it help me survive?
- What warning sign was it responding to?
- What does it cost me now?
- Which function still needs a replacement?
- What newer resource can share that job?
Do not remove a high-risk coping mechanism without appropriate support. For substance use, self-harm, severe symptoms, or medical concerns, involve qualified professionals and a concrete safety plan.
Tapping: I Am Afraid I Will End Up Back There
Side of the Hand: Even though I do not want to go there again, and I am holding tightly to whatever helped me survive, I honor that protection.
Even though the danger feels close when I remember it, I am willing to notice what is different now.
Even though I may still need an emergency plan, I do not have to carry every old tool at full intensity every day.
Top of the Head: I could end up back there.
Eyebrow: I remember how bad it was.
Side of the Eye: I cannot let my guard down.
Under the Eye: This old coping mechanism kept me going.
Under the Nose: I appreciate what it did.
Chin: I can keep the useful function.
Collarbone: I can add safer, newer support.
Under the Arm: I can notice the difference between a warning and a memory.
Top of the Head: I do not have to prove recovery through carelessness.
Eyebrow: I can have a plan without living in alarm.
Side of the Eye: I can identify early warning signs.
Under the Eye: I can contact people before a crisis grows.
Under the Nose: I can respond with care instead of self-hatred.
Chin: My past gives me information, not a guaranteed future.
Collarbone: I am building more than one route to safety.
Under the Arm: I can loosen my grip one finger at a time.
Take a breath and name one protection you are keeping and one you are ready to update.
Write a Return-Prevention Plan
Include early signs, actions that help, people to contact, professional resources, and conditions that mean you need urgent support. Make the plan visible and specific. Then include life beyond prevention: pleasure, connection, rest, and meaningful activity.
The goal is not “It can never happen again.” The goal is “I can notice sooner, respond differently, and reach for help.” That is a form of trust grounded in preparation rather than denial.
Session Audio
This guide was adapted from a Thriving Now session with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli.
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