Getting Paid What You’re Worth – Part 2

Watch, Then Practice

Transcript · Audio MP3 · Video MP4

Communicating Value Is Part of the Gift

Imagine receiving a thoughtful gift and praising it, only to hear: It was nothing. I probably did it wrong. The giver may be trying to appear humble, but their dismissal can also diminish your experience of receiving.

Now imagine hearing: I cared about what would fit you. I brought what I have learned and put real attention into this. The gift becomes easier to understand and appreciate.

Work can be similar. Communicating the care, skill, thought, or effort behind what you provide is not automatically bragging. It can help another person see what they are receiving, why it fits the situation, and how to use it.

Share Contribution Without Creating Obligation

High-integrity communication does not exaggerate, manipulate, or imply that someone owes you admiration. It connects your contribution to the other person’s needs and preserves their choice.

Instead of:

Oh, it was nothing. I just threw it together.

Try language such as:

• I thought carefully about what you said and developed this option.
• My experience with this issue helped me notice a risk we can address.
• I stayed with the problem and found a simpler way through it.
• I care about the outcome and want you to know what went into this.
• Here is where this approach is strong, and here are its limits.

The other person remains free to value the contribution differently. Your job is honest articulation, not controlling their response.

Do Not Require Other People to Notice Automatically

A boss may be busy. A client may not understand the learning behind a smooth process. A collaborator may see the finished result without the discernment that prevented problems. Waiting silently to be discovered can create resentment and invisibility.

Appropriate communication can include:

• what changed because of your work;
• the relevant skill, training, or preparation you brought;
• the problem you prevented or resolved;
• the care you took with the person’s actual context;
• what you learned and improved; and
• appreciation for the opportunity to contribute.

Documenting results and contributions is especially useful before a review, proposal, pricing decision, or compensation conversation.

Tapping: It Feels Like Bragging

Imagine calmly describing one valuable contribution. Notice tension, embarrassment, or the urge to apologize.

Stories Can Make Skill Visible

When a person struggles with something you now do easily, a brief story of your own learning can reduce shame and show what experience you bring. You might describe the awkward beginning, the practice, and what became possible.

Keep the story in service of the other person’s context. Do not overwhelm them with biography or use vulnerability to force trust. Ask whether the story helps them understand the path, the fit, or the value.

Practice in Low-Stakes Moments

Choose one contribution this week and communicate it without apology. Keep it short:

1. Name the need or situation.
2. Name what you brought.
3. Name the useful effect or intended benefit.
4. Leave room for response.

For example: You wanted the report to support a difficult decision. I reviewed the conflicting data and made the assumptions explicit so you can see where the recommendation is strong and where it is uncertain.

Awkwardness is expected when learning a new relational skill. Practice helps you find language that is neither self-erasing nor pushy.