I Just Don’t Want to Feel This
Intense emotion can feel dangerous, abnormal, unfair, or endless. The first feeling is quickly joined by judgment: I should not be feeling this. Good people do not feel this. This is my fault. I may not survive it. The extra layer often increases the intensity and traps more of it in the body.
Acceptance does not mean liking the feeling or letting it take over. It means reducing the fight with the fact that it is here—and meeting only the amount you can handle now.
This Guide Helps With
- feeling overwhelmed by anger, grief, fear, shame, or pain
- judging yourself for having a “negative” emotion
- fearing that feeling will become permanent or unbearable
- working in small aspects instead of processing everything
- using breaks, orientation, and support as part of emotional work
- distinguishing acceptance from surrender
The Second Layer
Name the feeling, then complete:
- I should not feel this because ___
- If I let myself feel it, I fear ___
- This emotion supposedly proves ___ about me
- The smallest piece I could acknowledge is ___
- I would feel safer with ___
Often the first useful tapping target is not the emotion itself. It is “This is too hard,” “I am bad for feeling it,” or “I must finish it all now.”
Tapping: I Do Not Want to Feel This
Side of the Hand: Even though I just do not want to feel this, and it seems too hard or overwhelming, I acknowledge where I am.
Even though part of me says I should not be feeling this, emotions are not moral failures.
Even though I am afraid it will take over, I can meet one small aspect and stop when I need to.
Top of the Head: I do not want to feel this.
Eyebrow: It is too much.
Side of the Eye: I am afraid I may not survive it.
Under the Eye: I think I should be different.
Under the Nose: Maybe I am bad or broken for feeling this.
Chin: Those judgments add another layer.
Collarbone: I can release some blame before touching the feeling.
Under the Arm: I can take a baby step.
Top of the Head: This one sensation, image, or sentence.
Eyebrow: I can notice it for one breath.
Side of the Eye: I can keep my eyes open and feel the room.
Under the Eye: I can take a break.
Under the Nose: I can ask someone to be with me.
Chin: Acceptance is not approval or forever.
Collarbone: I am allowed to work at a tolerable pace.
Under the Arm: I can be with myself without forcing all of this.
Take a breath. Look around and decide whether your next wise step is continuing, pausing, moving, or reaching for support.
Work in One-Percent Pieces
Choose a body sensation, one phrase, a color, or the edge of the feeling rather than its center. Alternate attention between the difficult sensation and a neutral or supported area. This can keep the work smaller and more tolerable instead of making the whole state the assignment.
If the intensity rises, orient outward: name objects, feel your feet, drink water, or move. You are not failing by stopping. A system that learns you will respect its limits becomes more willing to approach difficult material later.
For trauma, dissociation, self-harm urges, severe pain, or emotions that feel unsafe, seek qualified professional or crisis support. Tapping is not a requirement to process alone.
Session Audio
This guide was adapted from a Thriving Now session with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli.
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