We sometimes hold nervousness as if gripping it will keep us prepared. The body tightens around a difficult state, generates more of it, and waits for the external world to meet exact conditions before relaxation is permitted.
This made sense when danger was present. If a threatening person needed to leave, settling before they left could have reduced vigilance. Later, the same rule can spread: I can relax only when the money arrives, the house is quiet, everyone approves, the pain disappears, and the future is certain.
Conditions Matter—and They Are Not the Whole Story
Emotional freedom does not mean relaxing in an active danger zone or ignoring practical needs. Change the situation when you can. Move, set a boundary, seek help, build resources, and solve the solvable problem.
At the same time, notice whether every condition must be perfect before any opening is allowed. A five-percent softening may give you more intelligence for the practical work.
Abundance includes capacity: the ability to notice, receive, circulate, and enjoy energy or resources. Clamping down can make what is already available harder to perceive.
Use the Energy Window
Instead of arguing with the story, observe the flow. Where does energy tighten, speed up, collapse, or become butterflies? What happens when you breathe into the edges rather than the center? Does tapping introduce another option into this specific context?
Human learning is state-dependent. A tool practiced only in calm may be hard to remember in activation. Rehearse a small opening while mildly nervous so the body can retrieve it later.
Tapping: I Can Relax Only When Everything Changes
Side of the Hand: Even though I am holding tightly to this nervous energy, my system believes vigilance is useful.
Even though some external conditions truly matter, I may not need every condition met before I breathe.
Even though opening feels risky, I can experiment with one safe degree of flow.
Top of the Head: Hold on to the nervousness.
Eyebrow: It keeps me prepared.
Side of the Eye: I cannot relax until this is fixed.
Under the Eye: And that, and that, and that.
Under the Nose: My conditions keep multiplying.
Chin: I do not want to become careless.
Collarbone: Softening is not surrender.
Under the Arm: I can remain discerning while I breathe.
Top of the Head: What is safe enough right now?
Eyebrow: Where is there a little support?
Side of the Eye: I can loosen around the edges.
Under the Eye: Energy may have more than one direction.
Under the Nose: I can practice opening in this context.
Chin: More flow may reveal more choice.
Collarbone: I receive what is actually available.
Under the Arm: I relax one unnecessary precondition.
Take a breath. Name the condition that genuinely needs action and one additional condition your body may be able to release.
Let Abundance Become Observable
Look for movement rather than a grand feeling. Did an idea arrive? Did you remember a resource, ask for help, or feel enough space to make a decision? These are forms of increased flow.
Practice in ordinary contexts. Tap before opening financial information, entering a creative session, or receiving a compliment. Let the body associate those states with options beyond gripping.
Abundance is not proof that hardship is unreal. It is the widening that lets us meet reality with more of our capacity available.
Even a brief opening can interrupt the belief that tension is the only responsible way to meet uncertainty.
Session Audio
This Guide was adapted from a Thriving Now session with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli, recorded December 8, 2012. The transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.