A block is not proof that something is wrong with us. It can be the next old rule we encounter as our energy expands.
Some rules are explicit: people like us should not want that, women belong here, men must act this way, good people do not ask for more. Others are absorbed through tone, religion, family hierarchy, disability, class, race, or the consequences we watched others receive.
The rule may have been taught so early that it sounds like truth: “If I want the best, I am selfish. If I stand out, I am dangerous. I need to settle.”
“Know Your Place” Can Live in the Body
We can consciously reject a rule and still contract when we violate it. The chest tightens. The voice disappears. Desire turns into guilt. We compare ourselves with people who seem more entitled to choose.
That does not mean the rule is right. It means the body learned that staying in the assigned place protected belonging, approval, or spiritual safety.
Rather than arguing only with the belief, notice its physical location and inherited voice:
- Who benefited when I stayed small?
- What happened to people who wanted more?
- Which identity was I expected to perform?
- What does “settling” protect me from?
- What becomes possible if the rule was never sacred?
Wanting Is Not the Same as Taking
Many people were taught to distrust desire because some people pursue what they want without care for anyone else. But wanting does not require exploitation. We can desire more beauty, pleasure, opportunity, money, expression, or respect while remaining ethical and connected.
Desire helps us perceive direction. It does not guarantee an outcome or make another person responsible for fulfilling it. We can want, discern, negotiate, work, receive a no, change course, and still respect the wanting.
Tapping: I Need to Settle
Side of the Hand: Even though I learned that wanting more would take me out of my rightful place, I am willing to question who assigned that place.
Even though part of me believes I deserve less than the best available to me, that belief may be inherited rather than true.
Even though settling once protected belonging, I can seek choices that honor both my life and the larger ecosystem.
Top of the Head: I need to settle.
Eyebrow: People like me do not get to choose.
Side of the Eye: Wanting makes me selfish.
Under the Eye: Standing out makes me unsafe.
Under the Nose: I learned the right place for me.
Chin: My body remembers the consequences.
Collarbone: No wonder this block feels old.
Under the Arm: I can honor the protection without obeying the rule forever.
Top of the Head: What if they were wrong about my place?
Eyebrow: What if desire can be wise information?
Side of the Eye: I can choose without dominating.
Under the Eye: I can expand without making anyone lesser.
Under the Nose: I can improve my life and nourish my world.
Chin: I am allowed to discover what fits now.
Collarbone: My truth can be grounded, ethical, and alive.
Under the Arm: I do not have to settle in order to be good.
Take a breath. Say aloud one thing you want without explaining why you deserve it. Notice what your body adds.
Create a Landing Statement
An old rule often returns under stress. A landing statement gives us somewhere more truthful to return:
“It is healthy for me to improve my world, nourish my life, and help more goodness flow through the ecosystem I belong to.”
Use words that your body can believe. The purpose is not a grand affirmation pasted over fear. It is a grounded reminder that expansion and integrity can coexist.
Then take one powerful, proportionate step. Ask the question. Submit the application. Name the preference. Move your hips. Let your action show the body that a different place is possible.
Session Audio
This Guide was adapted from a Thriving Now session with Rick Wilkes and Cathy Vartuli, recorded March 30, 2016. The transcript was generated automatically and may contain errors.